This time of year brings lots of opportunities for public parenting, large family gatherings, and potentially stressful situations, so we’re focusing this episode on dealing with criticism. Whether it’s in-law tension, the “back in MY day” comments from relatives, or your own inner critic (isn’t she the worst?), we offer our own stories and tips for taking it all in stride.
LINKS MENTIONED:
- What’s your parenting Achilles’ heel? (Meagan for The Happiest Home)
- Zen Parenting Radio’s most recent podcast episode, How To Handle Criticism, and Meagan’s interview with Todd and Cathy Adams on The Home Hour
- Handling the grandparents’ unsolicited parenting advice (NY Times Motherlode)
- 4 tactics for handling parenting criticism from the in-laws (SheKnows)
- Dealing with parenting criticism (SimpleKids.net)
- 7 tips for handling criticism (Gretchen Rubin)
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- Join our private listener group on Facebook (be sure to answer the membership questions!)
- Sign up for our newsletter
You asked each other if you ever have been truly called out and was thankful to hear that you haven’t. I have. My husband’s family is large and loves each other in the “up in your business” way. My hubby is a rare example in his family of someone who truly does not judge. I’ve had so many things happen with varying degrees of inappropriateness.
One example is Great grandpa disagreed with thumb sucking. He (and some other family members) made his opinion known and when we didn’t seem inclined to do anything about it he told my son he put poison on his thumb so he better not suck it. I found out later when my son came to me crying because he was afraid to go to sleep and accidentally suck his thumb.
We’ve had two occasions of our kids being spanked, one slap, and one throwing out in the snow with out coat or shoes. I did the calling out those days.
I make them sound horrible but they’re not. I have to keep an eye on certain members. The upside to their family culture is that the accept correction with grace. Probably because they have had so much practice. I’ve have lots of practice with setting boundaries and standing up for my children.
My Achilles’ Heal right now is that I am a stay at home mom with my youngest in kindergarten and I am not bring in an income. Part of it is that we’re in the middle of a big savings goal (trying to buy a house). It didn’t make sense for me to work before and for several reason it may not make sense now either. But I find myself explaining it over and over again. Unsolicited. I haven’t had a single person, in my family, my husband, friends or other moms, judge me. It’s just me. I have had more time to comment on podcasts though 😉
Thanks for another great podcast. I listened to Zen Parenting Radio yesterday and smiled when I saw the title of yours.
Dayna, thank you so much for sharing. No doubt your ability to cope in the face of criticism (or outright disrespect) has been put to the test over the years. Wow. And thanks, too, for opening up about your Achilles’ heel. You are not alone, mama.