When listener Jacquie emailed us this question, we knew right away we wanted to answer it on the show: I am contemplating having one more baby. [Having three kids] is pretty unusual in my area/social circles so I don’t have a lot of people to ask. What surprised you about having a third baby? Episode 7 is all about being “done” (or not) having babies. How did we know we were done? Do we ever get over that urge to snuggle a newborn? What happens when time isn’t on your side or you and your spouse disagree on growing the family? And, to answer Jacquie’s question specifically, what are the logistical and psychological differences between having two kids and having three?
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Thank you for addressing my question! I identified with so many of your comments and it normalized a lot of what I am thinking. I am with Sarah on being impatient and wanting the family to be complete. I love the idea of being a family unit and having adventures together. But am also afraid that wanting the anticipation of pregnancy will never go away.
At the end of the day, no one regrets it and I like the idea of three kids coming home for Thanksgivings. Also, you are right that the logistical challenges aren’t insurmountable. I think we are going for it.
Jacquie, we had so much fun with this! Thank YOU for reaching out and letting us take on your question. Cheers to babies! 😉
This is definitely where I right now too. I have two kids and wonder about a third while at the same time I am loving being able to do more as a family. Great discussion!
Thanks so much for listening and commenting, Krista! 🙂
I loved this episode! I wished I could have been in the conversation so many times just to say “Yes -that’s exactly how I feel”. Our ‘third’ child turned into third and fourth when we had twins. I wanted to have at least four children so going over three kids wasn’t a disappointment but suddenly with that revelation half way through my pregnancy I realized that it could be my LAST pregnancy. It took me a while but now with the twins turning 2 I am done. Done. I’m ready to move on to the next stage of parenting and be done with babies. I had actually thought at the beginning of that pregnancy that I really hope when I’m supposed to stop having kids that I’ll just KNOW and not have that longing for another pregnancy and another newborn. Twins did that for me – I’m just done. (They’re really wonderful – It’s just very overpowering to suddenly have 4 kids under 5.)
Melissa, thank you for commenting! Ha – I only JOKE that my 3rd kid is like a 3rd and 4th combined. You actually HAD that!! 🙂 Hats off to you, mama. Thank you so much for listening, and CHEERS to being done!
I loved this show, and found myself nodding in agreement. I really identified with Meagan’s descriptions of how she felt, especially about not liking to close any doors and loving the feeling of starting something new with each pregnancy. I have four boys, aged 6 months, 3, 5, and 7. I don’t want more kids (and I don’t want to be pregnant again!), but am mourning the loss of that sense of possibility and potential that comes with being in the childbearing stage and wondering who “the next one” will end up being when they arrive. I’m also a bit sad about the idea of never having a daughter, to be honest. Thank you for this show, it was great to hear the perspectives you two shared on “being done” and helped me process some of what I’ve been thinking and feeling.
Thanks so much for listening and commenting, Heidi!
I just listened to this yesterday. I’m in this boat. We are happy with our 2 boys (age 2 & 8) but I’ve never been convinced that that is it. I don’t know if I just can’t shut that door or if I’m being nostalgic. Partly I feel like I have learned from the other 2 and feel like I could “do it right” whatever that is! My husband wants to be done but I just don’t want to.
Thanks for the podcast!
This is an old post that I just found but my husband and I are considering one more child and going over the pros and cons persae. So many things I can relate!