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in Blog on April 25, 2022 by Joanne Ruelos Diaz

Fast Five: The Dinner-Table Game I Play To Connect With My Kids

Recently, the kids and I have been playing this game called Fast Five. I think we first heard about it on the radio station Kids Place Live. In the game, someone names a category, and the rest of us have to name five things in that category as fast as we can.

We all like this game for different reasons. Leo, age 10, likes the competitive aspect and getting to use the stopwatch function on his Timex digital watch. Oscar, age 6, likes it when he knows the answers.

I like it because I can be sneaky. I use the game to conduct my own little experiments on what the kids notice and to spotlight what I notice about them.

When Leo asks me to name five things he likes to drink, I know the answers. (Blue Gatorade, strawberry lemonade, milkshake, hot chocolate, pineapple juice.) I’m glad that he knows that I know.

I also like asking the boys what they know about me. Like: Name five things in my bedroom.

“Um um! Your bed! Pillows, blankets! Your nightguard case (for my teeth-grinding episodes–eek), and…YOUR HUMAN TOASTER!”

The Human Toaster is what I call my heated mattress pad. It’s my best friend during the winter and apparently, I talk about that pretty often. It delights me for some reason that Leo has paid attention.

In some cases, I’ve realized I’m the one who isn’t paying attention. Leo asked us to name five characters in the video game Super Smash Bros and despite hearing the kids chatter on about it for months, I couldn’t do it. While I’ve heard the chatter, nodded my head, and responded, “Really? Oh, wow. That sounds cool!” I haven’t really been listening.

Oscar, on the other hand, was delighted that he knew: 1) all the Smash Bros characters that Mommy didn’t; and 2) answers that impressed his older brother.

Over time, the boys have asked me:

  • Name five of our inside jokes with Daddy. (I won’t list them because they’re ridiculous and won’t make sense to anyone outside our home.)
  • Name five Pokémon. (Took me almost 40 seconds but I did it.)
  • Name five wrestlers. (I lost this one.)
  • Name five other words for poop. (Nailed it.)
  • Name five of my favorite animals.

I answered the last one: Manatee! Snow leopard! Otter! Red panda! And…DUCKS.

Oscar looked at me with stone-cold eyes and replied: “If penguins could fly, they would be better than ducks.” For some reason I was so taken aback—then I laughed and laughed. I mean…he’s not wrong.

From my side, I’ve asked them:

  • Name five breakfast foods. (Start off easy.)
  • Name five kids in your brother’s class. (Do they pay attention to each other’s stories?)
  • Name five things I like in spring. (Do they pay attention to what I take pictures of?)
  • Name five things I say the most. (Do they pay attention when I talk?)

Leo rattled off answers to that last one in record time: “No; Yes; Maybe; Later…Did you make your bed?”

I laughed hard. Trying to take advantage, he followed-up with, “Can I play video games?” I replied quickly, “No.”

Point taken. His answers, and how speedily he thought of them, really got me thinking. That’s what he hears most— No. Yes. Maybe… Later. Did you make your bed?

What I value most about this game is how I can see the world from their perspectives—what they think about, what they observe, hear, and notice. It’s always more—and different—from what I realize.

Their questions and answers make me more cognizant of what I’m saying to them, around them, and of what I’m showing them, on purpose or not. Am I saying, “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” as much as I’m saying, “Stop that!” “How many times have I told you…?” and “Don’t forget to…”?

If I asked, “Name five things I like to do,” would they be able to answer? Would I like their answer? Or would they only be able to say, “Wash dishes; be on your phone; sleep.” If they asked me, “Name five things I’m doing at school right now,” would I have any idea? It’s food for thought.

Here’s a question I’ll give myself for now: Name five things we’ve learned from playing this game:

  • They see me.
  • They hear me.
  • They pay attention.
  • I see them.
  • I hear them.
  • I pay attention.

Okay, that’s six things. (But I came up with them pretty quickly – in probably 10 seconds or less.)

Related

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: big kids, family culture

About Joanne Ruelos Diaz

Joanne is a writer, editor, and children’s book author living in Northern New Jersey with her husband and two boys. All together, they share lots of laughs, a love of reading, and one bathroom. She has a children’s book coming out in November 2021 called THE LITTLE BOOK OF JOY, and it shares small ways to celebrate and find joy every day of the year. She finds all different kinds of joy by writing for children and grown-ups. You can see a little more about Joanne at JoanneRuelosDiaz.com.

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Comments

  1. Sarah says

    April 27, 2022 at 10:37 am

    This is such a simple idea but so cool! I am definitely going to give it a try.

    Reply
  2. Jennifer says

    April 27, 2022 at 11:10 am

    we often play 20 questions which is fun but I love this new Q&A dinner game idea – will definitely try it out soon.

    Reply
  3. Michelle Swingle says

    April 27, 2022 at 11:15 am

    What a great idea for a game. Love the insight you get. Will have to try this with my family tonight. 🙂

    Reply
  4. Parker says

    April 27, 2022 at 6:07 pm

    I love this idea!

    Reply

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Hopping on the mic to record today, dealing with o Hopping on the mic to record today, dealing with our own everyday stressors, and pausing in total gratitude for reviews like this one, and communities like this. 💛 -M & S
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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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Happy Monday, friends! Tomorrow’s show is about Happy Monday, friends! Tomorrow’s show is about end-of-school madness and other May malarkey, and in the episode we talk about how there’s just not a lot of margin for anything EXTRA or UNPLANNED in May. But the universe doesn’t always listen to us, or respect our boundaries, so please enjoy this selfie in front of a fallen “tree branch” on my back patio.

(It’s actually like the size of an entire tree. But the tree itself is fine and still standing. It just lost like half its bulk in a windstorm on Friday night. Roof, house, humans, pets are all fine. Glad we don’t have any patio hangs on the May calendar!)

If you like to watch Stories, I’m doing a Day In The Life series all day today, where you can see what else is up in the Powers house. I hope all the branches stay on all the trees in your yard this month. -Sarah
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Click this image at the link in our bio to get beach gear recs for every age and stage from baby through teen! And big thanks to @catieparrish @cafedumartin @stacybronec @kiamhammon @emilyeroark for the great suggestions!

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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Over the past few weeks, one of my kids - the one Over the past few weeks, one of my kids - the one who, as a baby and toddler, I would once have titled Most Likely To Wail So Long And Hard In The Gym Child Care That I Will Almost Certainly Have To Skip My Shower - has developed a bit of a fitness obsession. 

We've spent hours discussing his lifting program and gym schedule. And today, I scoured the grocery-store shelves for all the ingredients for a smoothie that will, I believe, help him get "jacked" and perhaps "make gains", then stood by as he prepared said smoothie, in case he needed assistance. (He did.)

The path from mothering toddlers to teens is full of surprises, friends. One day, you're trying to squeeze as much self-care as possible into the two-hour child care limit and wondering if the gym folks would catch you if you slipped out the side door for a solo sprint through the grocery store (never had the guts to try, but the temptation was strong.) 

But before you know it, the gym - and the coffee shop, and the inside of the car, and your favorite social media platforms - are no longer primarily your turf, but a shared domain where you try to find common ground even though you feel increasingly old and potentially cringe-inducing (and anyway, you've been told, clearly all the best reels were TikToks first.)

But you keep showing up. 

Because while it’s occasionally uncomfortable to wonder just how out of touch you’ve become since they were little, you also know there are bits of wisdom they rely on you for…wisdom such as how to secure the lid to the blender so you don’t wind up with protein smoothie on the ceiling.

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-M

#parentingteens #grownandflown #bigkidparenting #teens #motherhood
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Words by @sarahelimberg, contributor to The Mom Ho Words by @sarahelimberg, contributor to The Mom Hour and new mom of a toddler from San Diego:

--

#MyMomHour usually looks like this. Mid-day Saturday, exhausted from the work week, run down from the morning, heart full because I finally made it to a day with my little girl.

This window of free time is usually during nap with a quick lunch and an episode from the DVR archives that is no doubt a few weeks old. It’s probably the most relaxed and at peace I am all week.

What isn’t pictured is all the work it took to get to this point. All the effort it took to create this time for myself. It took meal planning and dishes after bedtime and house cleaning before breakfast and grocery orders and late night laundry and lunchtime emails and a coordinated vacuum run during our park trip.

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So if you’re reading this during your mom hour, cheers.

If you’re taking two minutes to scroll on your phone in the bathroom, cheers.

Whether you’ve figured out your mom hour or not, I hope your mug is full. 

--

Want a mug like Sarah's? Click this image at the link in our bio.

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It's been so fun seeing our mugs out in the world, It's been so fun seeing our mugs out in the world, filled with your coffee and tea, sitting on your kitchen counters or porch steps. Get yours by clicking this image at the link in our bio, and follow the #MyMomHour hashtag to see how moms in our community are taking (or hoping for) an hour to themselves.

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Words by @lisapayne4, contributor to The Mom Hour Words by @lisapayne4, contributor to The Mom Hour and mom of four from Kansas:

--

As a single mom of 4 who works full time out of the home, free time hasn’t always been plentiful. But new arrangements have found me with more free time than I’ve had for about 15 years.

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Hopping on the mic to record today, dealing with o Hopping on the mic to record today, dealing with our own everyday stressors, and pausing in total gratitude for reviews like this one, and communities like this. 💛 -M & S
New episode! Performances. Plays. Graduations. Th New episode!

Performances. Plays. Graduations. The lusty month of May is upon us as we ditch our well-oiled, calendar-planning systems and enter our end-of-school-year survival mode. In this episode, Meagan and Sarah share strategies for tackling the extra-ness of this season (like death by a thousand emails), setting intentions for the next few weeks and the many lessons May tries to teach us year after year (maybe someday we will learn?). Enjoy this May madness roundup as you dream of the peaceful, calm days of summer ahead (Ha, wouldn't that be great!).

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Monday, friends! Tomorrow’s show is about Happy Monday, friends! Tomorrow’s show is about end-of-school madness and other May malarkey, and in the episode we talk about how there’s just not a lot of margin for anything EXTRA or UNPLANNED in May. But the universe doesn’t always listen to us, or respect our boundaries, so please enjoy this selfie in front of a fallen “tree branch” on my back patio.

(It’s actually like the size of an entire tree. But the tree itself is fine and still standing. It just lost like half its bulk in a windstorm on Friday night. Roof, house, humans, pets are all fine. Glad we don’t have any patio hangs on the May calendar!)

If you like to watch Stories, I’m doing a Day In The Life series all day today, where you can see what else is up in the Powers house. I hope all the branches stay on all the trees in your yard this month. -Sarah
Sarah joined @marnihughestv on @newsnationnow this Sarah joined @marnihughestv on @newsnationnow this weekend to talk about how the formula shortage is affecting moms in our community. You can watch the clip at the link in our bio.
A day at the beach with kids is, um, no day at the A day at the beach with kids is, um, no day at the beach. (Sorry, had to. 😎) There’s gear to pack, sand to remove from unseen regions, and safety and sun protection to be mindful of. Thanks to our team of contributors, we’ve got you covered on the blog this week with the products that will make your beach outing fun, safe, and comfortable at every age and stage.

Click this image at the link in our bio to get beach gear recs for every age and stage from baby through teen! And big thanks to @catieparrish @cafedumartin @stacybronec @kiamhammon @emilyeroark for the great suggestions!

#beachgear #momsatthebeach #beachwithbabies #beachwithtoddlers #beachwithkids #beachvacationgear #bestbeachgear #beachgearguide #beach #momlife #summermomlife #beachmom #beachfamily
We're meeting next week to build out podcast and b We're meeting next week to build out podcast and blog content for the next few months. What topics should be on our list to cover?
New episode! As moms, we are our kids' biggest fa New episode!

As moms, we are our kids' biggest fans. But when it comes to deciding when, how and what to share about them with others, the struggle is real. In today’s episode, Meagan and Sarah discuss how talking about our own kids in a public forum gets tricky as they get older (think bigger kids, bigger problems) - and not just for the reasons you might think. Join us for a real conversation about navigating the ever-changing seasons of motherhood and how we think you can be honest and authentic without sharing *everything* going on inside your four walls. We wrap up with some updates on our specific kids (all eight!).

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Over the past few weeks, one of my kids - the one Over the past few weeks, one of my kids - the one who, as a baby and toddler, I would once have titled Most Likely To Wail So Long And Hard In The Gym Child Care That I Will Almost Certainly Have To Skip My Shower - has developed a bit of a fitness obsession. 

We've spent hours discussing his lifting program and gym schedule. And today, I scoured the grocery-store shelves for all the ingredients for a smoothie that will, I believe, help him get "jacked" and perhaps "make gains", then stood by as he prepared said smoothie, in case he needed assistance. (He did.)

The path from mothering toddlers to teens is full of surprises, friends. One day, you're trying to squeeze as much self-care as possible into the two-hour child care limit and wondering if the gym folks would catch you if you slipped out the side door for a solo sprint through the grocery store (never had the guts to try, but the temptation was strong.) 

But before you know it, the gym - and the coffee shop, and the inside of the car, and your favorite social media platforms - are no longer primarily your turf, but a shared domain where you try to find common ground even though you feel increasingly old and potentially cringe-inducing (and anyway, you've been told, clearly all the best reels were TikToks first.)

But you keep showing up. 

Because while it’s occasionally uncomfortable to wonder just how out of touch you’ve become since they were little, you also know there are bits of wisdom they rely on you for…wisdom such as how to secure the lid to the blender so you don’t wind up with protein smoothie on the ceiling.

And while they may never again look at you with with unquestioning adoration of a two-year-old, the respect you receive now, while less effusively expressed, is much harder-earned and well-deserved. 

Parenting teens, it seems, is all about striking the proper balance between humility and authority. I’m not sure I’ve figured it out yet and maybe I never will. But I’m still in here punching the bag, and meting out my mothering efforts…one smoothie at a time. 

-M

#parentingteens #grownandflown #bigkidparenting #teens #motherhood
New episode! Moms are savvy consumers, conscienti New episode!

Moms are savvy consumers, conscientious home managers, and discerning decision-makers. So why are we so often the target of hyper-generalized and cringey marketing efforts? In today’s More Than Mom episode - airing on Mother's Day! - Meagan and Sarah keep it light (and a bit snarky 😉) as we vent about the sloppy intent, terrible puns and ridiculous stereotypes advertisers use to market to us moms.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Words by @sarahelimberg, contributor to The Mom Ho Words by @sarahelimberg, contributor to The Mom Hour and new mom of a toddler from San Diego:

--

#MyMomHour usually looks like this. Mid-day Saturday, exhausted from the work week, run down from the morning, heart full because I finally made it to a day with my little girl.

This window of free time is usually during nap with a quick lunch and an episode from the DVR archives that is no doubt a few weeks old. It’s probably the most relaxed and at peace I am all week.

What isn’t pictured is all the work it took to get to this point. All the effort it took to create this time for myself. It took meal planning and dishes after bedtime and house cleaning before breakfast and grocery orders and late night laundry and lunchtime emails and a coordinated vacuum run during our park trip.

I don’t think enough people acknowledge the work it takes for parents and caregivers to take time for themselves. There are endless people and Instagram posts telling you that you need time for yourself. Time to relax. Time to decompress. But I’m not seeing those same people recognize that it isn’t always that simple. I have yet to figure out how to say to my 15 month old, “Mommy needs some time, you good?”

So if you’re reading this during your mom hour, cheers.

If you’re taking two minutes to scroll on your phone in the bathroom, cheers.

Whether you’ve figured out your mom hour or not, I hope your mug is full. 

--

Want a mug like Sarah's? Click this image at the link in our bio.

Want to share what an hour for yourself looks like to you? Tag your post #MyMomHour so we can see it and share!

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