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in Blog on January 24, 2022 by The Mom Hour

What Teachers & Educators Wish Parents Knew About Making School Decisions

Starting to think about school choices for the 2022-2023 school year? You’re not alone. It’s the time of year when a lot of families are starting to think about school decisions for Fall 2022, like how to choose a school, how to know whether your child is ready for kindergarten, or just how to best support your child’s education. We have several educators on our contributor team and asked for their advice on some common questions.

Meet The Educators

Ashley Schafluetzel

Ashley has been a kindergarten teacher in Missouri for 11 years and it is her absolute favorite thing to do, even on the tough days. She’s also mom to a third-grader and soon-to-be-kindergartener.

Lisa Payne

Lisa is an early childhood special educator in a school district in Kansas, where she supports both students and teachers on setting and attaining goals. She is also a single mother to four kids.

Joanna Martin

Joanna holds degrees in Child Learning and Development and Psychology, and taught 3rd grade outside Dallas, TX, before leaving the classroom to stay home with three young kids.

Katherine DeVries

Katherine spent 10 years teaching middle school English in public and charter schools throughout the Los Angeles area. She is currently staying at home with three young kids.

Keep reading to hear how these educators answer some of the most common questions we get from moms about choosing a school, getting ready for school, and finding your way once you’re there.

What do you wish parents knew about choosing “the right school”?

KD: Parents sometimes put a lot of weight on test scores and accolades (which are often tied to test scores). But it’s always worth thinking about why those test scores are what they are. For example, there’s a large military base in the school district where I used to work. Because of that, a lot of families move in and out throughout the year. A lot of those kids are super smart, but if the teachers at their old schools weren’t using the same pacing as the teachers at their new school, it’s going to look like they are “behind” when the test day comes around. So instead of focusing solely on scores, I would ask about the quality of the teaching, and the community, and how much value schools place on test scores vs. other, potentially more valuable, measures of growth.

JM: The words ‘right’ and ‘perfect’ are not synonymous when it comes to education. I think that many times when parents are looking into different school situations for their children they think that the “right” school will be one that has no faults whatsoever, but perfection isn’t attainable in any situation. Going into a school decision with a list of non-negotiables for your child and your family is key and keeping in mind that your child’s educational experience is the primary focus at the end of the day, not necessarily your parental experience.

What do you wish parents knew about what it means to be “ready for kindergarten”?

AS: Academically, if a child understands and knows some letters / letter sounds, can count to 20 (it’s common to mess up teen numbers), recognizes their name in print and recognizes some numbers, I consider that a good starting place. In terms of motor skills, if a child can hold a pencil, write their name, use school tools safely, and open/close containers, we are set! Having good self-help, self-care skills is important, too.

Social/emotional readiness is so much more important – I wish parents knew that! Your child needs to be working toward being a problem solver; we want them to be independent and remember the classroom routines when the teacher is busy or helping someone else. To practice at home, give multi-step directions and allow your child to work through them; this will help them practice listening, sequencing and retaining steps. Knowing how to ask for help and communicating their specific needs is also important. I have students who will just hand me a water bottle or a pencil; I can guess what they want, but it is much easier if they can explain what they need!

Finally, I wish parents knew that our kids are listening to us, and they mimic our behavior. (Especially after these past couple of years with more time at home!) Use kind words about others in your home; save conversations you don’t want your child repeating at school until they’re asleep. It’s hard to teach children not to call other children inappropriate names if their parents do it.

KD: I think a lot of parents are surprised by the fact that kindergarten readiness has more to do with social-emotional development than academic development. Most of the kids I know who were recommended to not start kindergarten were kids who were pretty book smart (knew their letters and numbers, etc.) but would have had difficulty sitting through a traditional school day, or working independently with their peers. Also, it’s never a judgment on your parenting if your kindergartener has been asked to stay back a year–it almost always has everything to do with their brains, and nothing to do with you.

JM: Readiness is a spectrum. Each and every child hitting the ground running on the first day of kindergarten will be at vastly different levels and comparison will not serve you or your child in positive ways. I think that the best preparation you can give your child is open-ended play situations at home, space and the ability to draw and use scissors, and social experiences that offer opportunities to share and practice independence. I also think having discussions with preschool teachers or if your child attends any sort of therapies is important to gauge readiness. Viewing these important people as team resources who have valuable information to add towards your child’s success.

LP: Ready for kindergarten is really two-fold: pre-academics and social skills. Pre-academics will be built upon in kindergarten, so a foundation of basic skills is helpful in making those first learning experiences successful. Paired with that are social skills which prove equally as important for success.

Pre-academic readiness looks like: Counting to 20, singing the ABC song, knowing some letters, numbers, colors and basic shapes, recognizing their name in print, holding a writing utensil to make lines and basic shapes

Social readiness looks like: Playing well with others (taking turns with materials and ideas, offering items to others, etc.); transitioning from one activity to another with little difficulty; starting to establish more independence (using the restroom, putting shoes on, etc.) and completing simple chores at home; asking for what they need. (help using the restroom, help getting a snack open); following a simple direction; starting to self-manage upset; attending to a story you read together. 

What do you wish parents knew about visiting a school, touring a campus, or attending an open house?

KD: A pretty room isn’t everything. I know that a lot of administrators put a lot of emphasis on “what’s on the walls” of the classroom. They want bright, colorful work to be displayed, and for teachers to post lots of beautiful rotating bulletin boards. And they do this because parents, and the higher ups at the district, LOVE it. But during my ten years in teaching, I visited a lot of classrooms. And observed, and worked closely with, a lot of teachers. And I can tell you that the pinterest-perfect classrooms didn’t always correlate with the highest level of teaching. In fact, some of the teachers with the loveliest rooms were the ones I would not request for my own children. Instead, talk to the teachers you meet, and really look closely at the work that’s on their walls. When you ask that English teacher about the first book she’s planning to teach, does she light up? Does she want to talk your ear off about it for so long that you have to back, slowly out of the room? Are the essays on her walls covered with positive and constructive feedback? Are some of the projects not on the walls because they involve intense, collaborative, multi-modal work that can’t be displayed in that way? Does the teacher spend so much time lesson planning, and grading, and learning that she doesn’t have time to cut shapes out for a bulletin board? Because that’s the teacher, or the school, that I want.

AS: Ask questions! Ask follow-up questions! Learn about the teachers, share about your child, your family – whatever you can! We love getting to know you. I take notes after people leave about my students’ likes / dislikes/ family / pets / etc., so I can connect with the child later.”

JM: You are allowed to visit and tour multiple times! So often I feel that parents are nervous or afraid to schedule follow up tours or ask more questions. Schools offer tours and open houses for the purpose of answering any and all questions as a free resource to parents and families who are curious.

What do you wish parents knew about learning to read?

LP: Literacy starts at home with SIMPLE activities, such as narrating your day. Talk about each part so they are learning sequencing as well as vocabulary. Reading a book each day (even if it’s the same book over and over) develops pre-literacy and literacy skills (sequencing, retelling, predicting, letter and letter sound learning, personal experiences tied to the book). Singing the ABC song, and then adding the visual representation of each letter to that is a great way to start pairing letter to letter name, and then letter name to letter sound. Learning should be fun, not flashcards. Making games (“I spy the letter L/something that starts with /l/,” “run and get something that starts like this ‘/b/”) will get more of the brain involved and help the child want to learn more. Reinforce and gently steer in the right direction if they misremember the new information they are learning.

AS: Be a reader yourself! Read with your child before bed. When teaching letters – teach the sounds and lowercase letters, those are what they will use first. Lowercase letters are what we see in print and sounds are what we use to sound them out. A child can read using just letter sounds, the names are relevant, but not as important as knowing the sounds. Another important piece of reading is phonemic awareness: recognizing rhyming words, giving rhyming words, identifying beginning and ending sounds – all of these are good skills to have to start reading! 

KD: Oh my goodness it takes forever. I think the most important thing you can do for your kid if you feel like they are struggling is not pressure them. The kids who are usually the best readers, are the ones who read a lot. And they read a lot because they enjoy it. So find something your kid enjoys, even if that’s a super short graphic novel that you think is stupid. The more pressure you put on them, and the more you make them feel like they’re behind, the harder it’s going to be.

JM: Learning to read, willingness to read, excitement towards reading, and developmental readiness to read are all vastly different concepts that are often conflated to mean the same thing. When a child meets that magical intersection of developmental readiness and willingness it is evident. With all learning it is a spectrum and no child is alike. I personally (as a parent and former teacher) have always held tight to the rule that when tears start, learning stops. If learning to read is often a frustrating situation or resulting in tears for your child or yourself then it is time to step back and take a break.

What do you wish parents knew about kids and friendships, and social dynamics on the playground?

JM: Social dynamics are a part of education just as much as reading, writing, and math. We are sending our children into communities every day that are reflective of the world and its social dynamics. Each child is learning, testing limits, setting boundaries, and figuring it out. One of the best resources a parent can offer any child at the end of the day is to be a safe place to talk to about social situations. So often the real learning and reflection about social dynamics is done at home while using a parent as a sounding board.

LP: ALL kids want to be included. It’s imperative that we are teaching kids at a young age to be inclusive of all children, no matter what different abilities they have. When your child is feeling excluded, teach them some strategies to use (ask a group to play, find another friend, choose a new piece of equipment, look around and see who else might not have anyone to play with and make a new friend). Have open conversations at home about “what if” scenarios, and encourage your child to come up with some suggestions to try.

KD: In middle school, kids can be the protagonists of their own realities. They see things through a very narrow lens, and almost always have difficulty identifying the ways in which they may have contributed negatively to a situation. I think it’s super important to always be on your kid’s team, and make sure they know that you’re a safe space for them, but it’s also important to take their grand declarations of good and evil with a grain of salt. I have yet to meet a middle school fight in which both parties weren’t at least a little bit at fault. At the same time, however, kids can be very possessive of their social status. If a kid feels like another kid could potentially pull him or her down a rung on the social ladder, they can be very cruel about it. These situations can be super tricky, and it can sometimes be helpful to reach out to teachers, who might be able to help initiate other friendships in the classroom, or help remove kids from a situation when it starts to become toxic.

What do you wish parents knew about making school decisions for a special needs student?

AS: As a teacher (stepping out of my special needs mom role here) – we want to help your child! However, depending on the state you’re in – it can be hard for younger students to qualify for services, for many reasons. Be your child’s biggest advocate; get medical support from your child’s doctor. If a school asks you to talk to your pediatrician, please do: we are trying to get your child the help they need! 

As a mom to a daughter with cerebral palsy, I understand it can be frustrating to walk through the school support process. My daughter requires a full time paraeducator, and yet she didn’t “qualify” from school evaluation alone; she only qualified because I have a medical note from her doctor saying she needs support and has cerebral palsy. They averaged her test scores, which resulted in a not-low-enough score because she is smart, can socialize and advocate for help. It completely invalidated the fact that she can’t walk, struggles to complete any writing tasks and can’t fully care for herself. So, yes. It’s frustrating.

KD: I think it’s always important to advocate. And when you feel like you’ve advocated enough, and are getting annoying, you’re not. Advocate more. Teachers are so busy, especially now, and they can get super overwhelmed by their caseloads. I always appreciated when parents reached out to me right away when they noticed that something wasn’t being implemented the right way in my classroom.

On a school level, I would make sure to ask a lot of specific questions about what kind of support team is available, and what their case-loads look like. If your child is going to be assigned an aide, or other special staff, I would ask to meet them in person. I would also read your child’s IEP carefully, and ask questions about how, exactly, the major points will be implemented–not on an aggressive level, of course, but on an “I’m paying attention,” level instead.

LP: Your child’s IEP or 504 plan should include things for your child to be successful in the school setting. If you’re feeling uneasy, ask to speak with the principal, school psychologist or counselor to help ease any concerns you have. Schools are made to meet kids where they are. Teams of specialists come together to put your child’s best interest at heart and YOU are an incredibly important part of that team. Don’t be afraid to speak up, ask for a team meeting when it’s needed, and ask for open communication from the school/teacher if that helps set the pace for success.

What do you wish parents knew about becoming part of a classroom or school community?

JM: It can feel intimidating to step into a classroom or school community – especially if you are sending a child into a classroom setting for the first time! I think trying to meet other parents who have been at the school for years and have older students can be a great resource in mentorship. Ask your child’s teacher if they can recommend a family or parent that they have had in their class who might be a good resource. It is also important to note: there will be so many opportunities to volunteer and contribute and you do not have to tackle them all! That is why the school environment is a community!

KD: Teachers want you to help, but we’re also professionals. I have had some truly amazing parents do everything from making copies for me, to planning book drives for my classroom library. I’ve also had parents tell me how, and how not, to do my job. While I’m always open to constructive feedback, and I think most teachers are, it’s important to remember that no educator can cater to your, or your child’s, specific tastes and preferences. 

LP: Community is built through connection, and in current times, it’s trickier than it’s been in the past. There are seemingly fewer opportunities to gather as a school due to mitigating the spread of illness and keeping everyone safe. That doesn’t mean you can’t reach out and ask if there is a school directory to find a friend from your child’s class. If there isn’t, you can ask your child’s teacher to pass along your contact information to any of the classmates that your family would like to get to know better. There are LOTS of ways to support and be included in your child’s classroom.

As an educator (or former educator), what else do you wish parents knew?

AS: We love your child, we worry about your child, we want to do what’s best for your child – even, and especially, when we have to send behavior notes home. Be a team with your child’s teacher. One year I had a free-spirited girl. She was the sweetest and wildest girl combined. I reached out to mom, expressed my concerns and asked how to help. Mom gave me some suggestions. The girl loved to help, loved to be a leader. I told the girl she could be the class helper (totally made it up on the spot) if she could be a good example on the carpet. We never had an issue again, once I knew what she needed. I am so thankful the mom helped, and she was very happy to share about her girl! We are spending a year with your child, we want it to be a good one! Help us, help them!

KD: First, I wish parents knew that parent and community feedback plays a role in the tenure and retention process. If you like a teacher, especially if they are a newer teacher, email them and CC their administrators. The greatest gift you can give to a teacher you feel is doing good work, and supporting your student, is positive feedback sent directly to their boss.

I also wish parents knew that it’s super helpful when they communicate with me about what’s going on at home. Family life, and the inevitable ups and downs that come with it, can seriously impact the way a student behaves, and learns, in the classroom. If I know where a student is coming from, or why they’re suddenly acting out, I can better support them. I can think of a few examples in the past where I was the only one of a student’s teachers to know certain information about their home life. In one instance, a student was going through a very difficult time, and was acting accordingly. Because I understood the situation, I was able to not only help support him in class, but also make sure that none of the content of my lessons were triggering him. That year, he excelled in my class, but really struggled in a lot of his other ones. I have always wondered whether that would not have been the case, had this student’s parent been willing to disclose the situation with all of us. I know this can be tricky, and everyone is entitled to their privacy should they want it, but most teachers are in it for the kids, and are much more likely to help than judge.

LP: The transition from home to school can be a tricky one. Moving from familiar to unknown can raise big emotions. Something to consider is ways to say goodbye;  from a “secret handshake” to a special phrase, a special send off, predictable and routine. The way parents model bravery and grit in the tricky moments will show your child how to start navigating the change. Creating routines around saying goodbye and what you say/do when you are reunited makes a difference. Ask your child the same 2-3 questions each day: what was your favorite part of the day, what did you eat for snack/lunch today, who did you play with today, etc. This gives predictability and a focus for your child to recall each day. Additionally, make some tentative plans to read a special book, ask your child to help make dinner, or another routine activity so they (and you) have something to look forward to later in the day. Your presence makes the most difference, creates secure relationships and will boost your child’s confidence and success at school.

JM: The teacher is your teammate. No teacher is perfect but at the end of the day most teachers have a similar goal of wanting your child to feel safe, loved, and to love their learning experience. Teachers also have a lot going on in their lives and realizing they are a human with feelings, opinions, and oftentimes family and outside commitments of their own is important. Approaching the educational relationship with your child’s teacher with a team mentality can truly transforms the classroom experience for your child into a positive, safe, reciprocally respectful space that benefits the whole family.

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Photo by Vika Strawberrika on Unsplash

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Comments

  1. Kristen Vargas says

    January 26, 2022 at 11:54 am

    Thank you for this article. As a fourth grade teacher and mom of two (4 and 2), this is the first time I’ve had to put the parent-hat on, when I’m used to the teacher-hat. My daughter will be turning five in July and my husband and I are trying to figure out what’s best for her AND our family, since both of us are working parents. I also love the curated playlist of all the episodes that discuss schooling at the early childhood level. Is there a way to get that playlist in one of the streaming apps? I don’t think Apple podcasts has playlist podcast episodes available, but I’m not sure about Spotify. I’d love to share this playlist with other moms who are in the same boat as me for the upcoming school. Thanks again!

    Reply
    • Sarah says

      January 26, 2022 at 12:04 pm

      Hi Kristen! So glad you found this helpful! The playlists we put together include episodes from WAY back in our archives, and that means they don’t show up in any of the podcast apps anymore. We do have a Spotify playlist called School Parenting 101, but it will be limited to more recent episodes (here’s a link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4o5LrZmNz80ZA3EyfULs67?si=c20ad61467994b10).

      To listen to the list of episodes we put together at the bottom of THIS blog post, folks will need to hit play in their browser right from our website. So you can send them the link to this post! Does that help?

      Reply

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Hopping on the mic to record today, dealing with o Hopping on the mic to record today, dealing with our own everyday stressors, and pausing in total gratitude for reviews like this one, and communities like this. 💛 -M & S
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(It’s actually like the size of an entire tree. But the tree itself is fine and still standing. It just lost like half its bulk in a windstorm on Friday night. Roof, house, humans, pets are all fine. Glad we don’t have any patio hangs on the May calendar!)

If you like to watch Stories, I’m doing a Day In The Life series all day today, where you can see what else is up in the Powers house. I hope all the branches stay on all the trees in your yard this month. -Sarah
Sarah joined @marnihughestv on @newsnationnow this Sarah joined @marnihughestv on @newsnationnow this weekend to talk about how the formula shortage is affecting moms in our community. You can watch the clip at the link in our bio.
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Over the past few weeks, one of my kids - the one Over the past few weeks, one of my kids - the one who, as a baby and toddler, I would once have titled Most Likely To Wail So Long And Hard In The Gym Child Care That I Will Almost Certainly Have To Skip My Shower - has developed a bit of a fitness obsession. 

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But you keep showing up. 

Because while it’s occasionally uncomfortable to wonder just how out of touch you’ve become since they were little, you also know there are bits of wisdom they rely on you for…wisdom such as how to secure the lid to the blender so you don’t wind up with protein smoothie on the ceiling.

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Words by @sarahelimberg, contributor to The Mom Ho Words by @sarahelimberg, contributor to The Mom Hour and new mom of a toddler from San Diego:

--

#MyMomHour usually looks like this. Mid-day Saturday, exhausted from the work week, run down from the morning, heart full because I finally made it to a day with my little girl.

This window of free time is usually during nap with a quick lunch and an episode from the DVR archives that is no doubt a few weeks old. It’s probably the most relaxed and at peace I am all week.

What isn’t pictured is all the work it took to get to this point. All the effort it took to create this time for myself. It took meal planning and dishes after bedtime and house cleaning before breakfast and grocery orders and late night laundry and lunchtime emails and a coordinated vacuum run during our park trip.

I don’t think enough people acknowledge the work it takes for parents and caregivers to take time for themselves. There are endless people and Instagram posts telling you that you need time for yourself. Time to relax. Time to decompress. But I’m not seeing those same people recognize that it isn’t always that simple. I have yet to figure out how to say to my 15 month old, “Mommy needs some time, you good?”

So if you’re reading this during your mom hour, cheers.

If you’re taking two minutes to scroll on your phone in the bathroom, cheers.

Whether you’ve figured out your mom hour or not, I hope your mug is full. 

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Words by @lisapayne4, contributor to The Mom Hour Words by @lisapayne4, contributor to The Mom Hour and mom of four from Kansas:

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As a single mom of 4 who works full time out of the home, free time hasn’t always been plentiful. But new arrangements have found me with more free time than I’ve had for about 15 years.

Those first hours of free time included trying to figure out what I *do* with free time. Sitting paralyzed, figuring out which of the hundreds of things should occur in this unfamiliar and uncomfortable space of alone.

As the normalcy of the new schedule begins seeping in, indecisiveness trickles away like granules of sand dissipating in an hourglass. Both indicating the countdown to the old normalcy and the gentle flow of time.

Since I work well with organization, I make a mental list, prioritizing 1-2 items begging to be accomplished in #MyMomHour. Sometimes it’s a date with myself at the gym, or a tv show that my kids don’t need to (or want to) watch with me. Often, I’ll pop in an air pod and it’s a podcast, audiobook, music, or phone call while I take care of putting things back in order around the house. Sometimes I doodle on the writings I’ve started, seeing if any inspiration percolates.

I walk away feeling accomplished, refueled and more relaxed without so much clutter, one less pile on the counter or thing on the stairs. It rejuvenates a spirit in me to get back into something I’ve left behind, a friendship, an old project or hobby, self-care…even if it’s binge-watching a new (to me) series. And it always helps me be more present when the old normalcy returns.

--

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Hopping on the mic to record today, dealing with o Hopping on the mic to record today, dealing with our own everyday stressors, and pausing in total gratitude for reviews like this one, and communities like this. 💛 -M & S
New episode! Performances. Plays. Graduations. Th New episode!

Performances. Plays. Graduations. The lusty month of May is upon us as we ditch our well-oiled, calendar-planning systems and enter our end-of-school-year survival mode. In this episode, Meagan and Sarah share strategies for tackling the extra-ness of this season (like death by a thousand emails), setting intentions for the next few weeks and the many lessons May tries to teach us year after year (maybe someday we will learn?). Enjoy this May madness roundup as you dream of the peaceful, calm days of summer ahead (Ha, wouldn't that be great!).

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Monday, friends! Tomorrow’s show is about Happy Monday, friends! Tomorrow’s show is about end-of-school madness and other May malarkey, and in the episode we talk about how there’s just not a lot of margin for anything EXTRA or UNPLANNED in May. But the universe doesn’t always listen to us, or respect our boundaries, so please enjoy this selfie in front of a fallen “tree branch” on my back patio.

(It’s actually like the size of an entire tree. But the tree itself is fine and still standing. It just lost like half its bulk in a windstorm on Friday night. Roof, house, humans, pets are all fine. Glad we don’t have any patio hangs on the May calendar!)

If you like to watch Stories, I’m doing a Day In The Life series all day today, where you can see what else is up in the Powers house. I hope all the branches stay on all the trees in your yard this month. -Sarah
Sarah joined @marnihughestv on @newsnationnow this Sarah joined @marnihughestv on @newsnationnow this weekend to talk about how the formula shortage is affecting moms in our community. You can watch the clip at the link in our bio.
A day at the beach with kids is, um, no day at the A day at the beach with kids is, um, no day at the beach. (Sorry, had to. 😎) There’s gear to pack, sand to remove from unseen regions, and safety and sun protection to be mindful of. Thanks to our team of contributors, we’ve got you covered on the blog this week with the products that will make your beach outing fun, safe, and comfortable at every age and stage.

Click this image at the link in our bio to get beach gear recs for every age and stage from baby through teen! And big thanks to @catieparrish @cafedumartin @stacybronec @kiamhammon @emilyeroark for the great suggestions!

#beachgear #momsatthebeach #beachwithbabies #beachwithtoddlers #beachwithkids #beachvacationgear #bestbeachgear #beachgearguide #beach #momlife #summermomlife #beachmom #beachfamily
We're meeting next week to build out podcast and b We're meeting next week to build out podcast and blog content for the next few months. What topics should be on our list to cover?
New episode! As moms, we are our kids' biggest fa New episode!

As moms, we are our kids' biggest fans. But when it comes to deciding when, how and what to share about them with others, the struggle is real. In today’s episode, Meagan and Sarah discuss how talking about our own kids in a public forum gets tricky as they get older (think bigger kids, bigger problems) - and not just for the reasons you might think. Join us for a real conversation about navigating the ever-changing seasons of motherhood and how we think you can be honest and authentic without sharing *everything* going on inside your four walls. We wrap up with some updates on our specific kids (all eight!).

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Over the past few weeks, one of my kids - the one Over the past few weeks, one of my kids - the one who, as a baby and toddler, I would once have titled Most Likely To Wail So Long And Hard In The Gym Child Care That I Will Almost Certainly Have To Skip My Shower - has developed a bit of a fitness obsession. 

We've spent hours discussing his lifting program and gym schedule. And today, I scoured the grocery-store shelves for all the ingredients for a smoothie that will, I believe, help him get "jacked" and perhaps "make gains", then stood by as he prepared said smoothie, in case he needed assistance. (He did.)

The path from mothering toddlers to teens is full of surprises, friends. One day, you're trying to squeeze as much self-care as possible into the two-hour child care limit and wondering if the gym folks would catch you if you slipped out the side door for a solo sprint through the grocery store (never had the guts to try, but the temptation was strong.) 

But before you know it, the gym - and the coffee shop, and the inside of the car, and your favorite social media platforms - are no longer primarily your turf, but a shared domain where you try to find common ground even though you feel increasingly old and potentially cringe-inducing (and anyway, you've been told, clearly all the best reels were TikToks first.)

But you keep showing up. 

Because while it’s occasionally uncomfortable to wonder just how out of touch you’ve become since they were little, you also know there are bits of wisdom they rely on you for…wisdom such as how to secure the lid to the blender so you don’t wind up with protein smoothie on the ceiling.

And while they may never again look at you with with unquestioning adoration of a two-year-old, the respect you receive now, while less effusively expressed, is much harder-earned and well-deserved. 

Parenting teens, it seems, is all about striking the proper balance between humility and authority. I’m not sure I’ve figured it out yet and maybe I never will. But I’m still in here punching the bag, and meting out my mothering efforts…one smoothie at a time. 

-M

#parentingteens #grownandflown #bigkidparenting #teens #motherhood
New episode! Moms are savvy consumers, conscienti New episode!

Moms are savvy consumers, conscientious home managers, and discerning decision-makers. So why are we so often the target of hyper-generalized and cringey marketing efforts? In today’s More Than Mom episode - airing on Mother's Day! - Meagan and Sarah keep it light (and a bit snarky 😉) as we vent about the sloppy intent, terrible puns and ridiculous stereotypes advertisers use to market to us moms.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Words by @sarahelimberg, contributor to The Mom Ho Words by @sarahelimberg, contributor to The Mom Hour and new mom of a toddler from San Diego:

--

#MyMomHour usually looks like this. Mid-day Saturday, exhausted from the work week, run down from the morning, heart full because I finally made it to a day with my little girl.

This window of free time is usually during nap with a quick lunch and an episode from the DVR archives that is no doubt a few weeks old. It’s probably the most relaxed and at peace I am all week.

What isn’t pictured is all the work it took to get to this point. All the effort it took to create this time for myself. It took meal planning and dishes after bedtime and house cleaning before breakfast and grocery orders and late night laundry and lunchtime emails and a coordinated vacuum run during our park trip.

I don’t think enough people acknowledge the work it takes for parents and caregivers to take time for themselves. There are endless people and Instagram posts telling you that you need time for yourself. Time to relax. Time to decompress. But I’m not seeing those same people recognize that it isn’t always that simple. I have yet to figure out how to say to my 15 month old, “Mommy needs some time, you good?”

So if you’re reading this during your mom hour, cheers.

If you’re taking two minutes to scroll on your phone in the bathroom, cheers.

Whether you’ve figured out your mom hour or not, I hope your mug is full. 

--

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