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in Blog on November 8, 2018 by Meagan Francis

My “Worst-Mom Moment,” Sixteen Years Later

In the video below (click here if you can’t see it), Meagan tells the story behind the viral meme you may have seen around the internet this week. Below we’re including the blog post that ran just after the photo first made the rounds in 2013.

You can also read the ensuring HuffPo essay itself here, and the TODAY article here. Enjoy, and hang in there! 

toddler tantrum

Thursday night as I was getting ready to go to bed, I popped onto our Facebook page and, in the spur of the moment, decided to share this photo:

It’s a picture of me, nearly ten years ago now, carrying my screaming son Isaac away from a photography session at my brother John’s wedding to one of my best friends, Jenna. This is the message I included with the post:

“Speaking of hard parenting moments, I wanted to share this picture I ran across in a box recently. It’s me, at a family wedding, largely pregnant, carrying my completely-freaking-out three-year-old away from the professional photo session. He was a real handful back then, but he is now 13 and a more lovely young man you could not imagine. I just want to take my old self from this picture, give her a big hug and tell her everything really WILL be OK.”

When I went to bed the picture had been shared a few times and I had a handful of nice comments. But by the time I woke up the next morning and checked Facebook, I was astonished to see that the picture had been shared hundreds of times and seen by about 60,000 people. As of this writing that number is more like 135,000.

What? It was just a simple photo. Why did it strike such a nerve?

In reading all the commentary, though, I could see why: because all moms have had a moment like this one,  either due to a day that went quickly, horribly wrong or perhaps several years that went slowly, mind-numbingly wrong.

In the above photo, I was sort of in the middle of both. Not only was I dealing with an ill-timed pregnancy, but I was in the middle of raising an exceptionally challenging child: Isaac, my sweet-cheeked second son, chubby and bright and adorable and absolutely hell on wheels. And we got it on film. After seeing my post on Facebook, my stepmother Brenda was kind enough to scan and send me some other photos from that day, as photographic evidence of just how hair-tearingly bad parts of it were.

For example, on that sweaty, max-stress-level day, my usually well-behaved son Jacob also decided to completely lose it.

tantrum at wedding

This photo was taken about five minutes before the one of me carting Isaac away. See how sweet – and shocked by his behavior! –  his little cousin looks?

And then there was this one, taken after the ceremony. It’s me, speaking intently to my Aunt Paula, who I believe was saying something along the lines of “Honey, we’re all worried about you. This is an intervention.”

wedding photo

After seeing the reaction the photo of me carrying Isaac away football-style from the photo session received, I approached the Huffington Post and asked whether they’d like an essay on the story of me, of Isaac, and the lessons that raising a difficult young boy – and watching him grow into a sweet, calm, wonderful teenager – has taught me about motherhood. And, to my delight, they said yes.

It’s up there now. Here’s a little sneak peak:

Truthfully, I couldn’t tell you why Isaac was so difficult then or why he’s so easy now. When he was a young child I got the impression that he was a mass of impulses and sensations he couldn’t control. Maybe what he needed most was simply time to grow into himself, and the acceptance of those around him while he was figuring out how to navigate the world.

I do know that I can no more take total credit for the way Isaac is today, than I can take all the blame for the way he was then.

I’d love for you to read the whole essay, but first I want you to see one last picture, another that my stepmother sent me that I’d completely forgotten about. This picture is one of me, smiling, dancing with my baby nephew Harry, holding adorable chubby-cheeked Isaac by the hand.

I guess in the red-faced heat of embarrassment over the kids’ photo-session behavior, I’d kind of forgotten this moment.

But it just goes to show you: there is always another side to every memory, isn’t there?

dancing at wedding with kids

Sending hugs to all the mamas going through tough times. No matter what you’re facing, it gets better.

And maybe – though I know it’s so hard to see right now – it’s already better than you think.

Related

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: mom confidence, toddlers

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« How Baby’s Personality May (Or May Not) Predict Big Kid Character Traits: Episode 181
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Comments

  1. Devina says

    March 15, 2019 at 10:06 am

    I have definitely had moments like these and in fact I just had one yesterday in a department store with my 7 year old. He was just exhausted from the day at school and neither of us wanted to be in a store shopping. I just stayed calm but in my head I was thinking, “ this kid is too big to be going through this.” But he just had a rough day and I did too. I just remembered that this too shall pass and will not last forever. That always gets me through. Gotta love motherhood with all my heart and soul.

    Reply

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We're signing off for the long weekend, friends. W We're signing off for the long weekend, friends. We'll be back Tuesday with a new episode, and in the meantime we send you all the good vibes for stress-free celebrations and exactly the type of holiday weekend you have the bandwidth for. Parades optional (IYKYK). Sending love, and we’ll talk to you next week. -M & S
Wise words from @meaganfrancis - written 10+ years Wise words from @meaganfrancis - written 10+ years ago when she had a houseful of little kids and a full-time career. On the podcast this week we talk about making peace with the endlessness that is managing a family home - have you listened? Click this image at the link in our bio to visit the show notes, where you can click play to hear our discussion, as well as find the link to this original blog post. 💛
It’s 5:55 a.m., and my notebook is filled with w It’s 5:55 a.m., and my notebook is filled with words I’ve scratched out since 5:00. I have five minutes until I need to wake the big kids up for school. Taking one last sip of my cold coffee, I stretch my arms above my head, then walk down the hall. The house is still clean, but soon, tiny feet will hit the floor, and the work of parenting and running a household will begin again.

I gently open the kids’ bedroom door and stand on the bottom bunk, reaching my hand into the top bunk to place it on Rhett’s head. His breath is slow and steady; he’s still deep asleep. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the day ahead. 

Opening my eyes, I tickle his head, “Hey buddy, it’s time to get up,” I whisper. “I’ve got breakfast on the table.”

“It’s so early,” he grumbles, curling into a ball. 

“I know, but it’s time,” I say, anticipating what he will say next.

“Can you carry me?” he asks. 

I start to protest; that he’s too heavy and big enough to do it by himself. But I pause, knowing he’s asking me to step back a bit—that he hasn’t made the jump to a “big kid” just yet. And maybe, while there aren’t three easy steps to parenting, he’s reminding me I can do this—one step at a time.

--

✨ Read @stacybronec's essay by clicking this image at the link in our bio. ✨
New episode! Not feeling like an expert in the ho New episode!

Not feeling like an expert in the housework realm? Turns out, very few of feel like we know what we are doing. Last week Meagan and Sarah talked about WHAT we do to keep our households in a state of "good enough," and this week's Part Two is all about the feelings that came up as we tracked a week of real-life housework. We dive into some of our insecurities as home managers, the difference between housework and mothering, and some of the really sticky aspects of finding your identity as a mom and homemaker in the 21st century. We have LOTs of thoughts - and we hope you'll join us!

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #housework #reallifehousework #feelings #homemanagerinsecurities #momin21stcentury
This is me, at the age of 20. In over my head, lea This is me, at the age of 20. In over my head, learning to mother a sweet but mystifying baby boy while most of my friends were in the middle of their junior year of college. I had a stubborn optimistic streak and a supportive family in my corner, but not much else.

When I look at the girl I was then, I'm so glad that optimism won out and that Jacob is here today. Motherhood was a life-altering experience that shaped everything about the person I became.

But when I think about the lack of practical and active societal support that girl and her baby received nearly twenty-five years ago, I'm sad and angry. What (inadequate) assistance was offered came tinged with a sense of failure and shame. And the movement working tirelessly to protect the rights of my unborn baby largely seemed to ignore my personhood except as a means to keep him alive.

Even for the much more privileged, it's a tough time to be a mother. The needs of moms (and by extension, living children) are ignored, and we all pay the price.

At The Mom Hour, we are Pro-Mom. We value our entire community and celebrate that this group represents a diverse set of backgrounds and beliefs. Our goal is to always be part of a dynamic and inclusive conversation, not an echo chamber or soapbox.

We also believe that mothers have immense value in their own right, not merely as a vessel for new life, or the means by which to kept that life fed, warm, clean, disciplined, entertained, and educated for the next 18+ years. Motherhood is not a consequence or a political tool. Mothers should not be the collateral damage of other people's beliefs. We are important, worthy of consideration, and worthy of care.

When I look back at the girl in this picture, I wish I'd known how valuable I was: not just for what I could do for the baby on my hip, but simply because I existed. 

I hope you all know it now, and that it colors not only the way you treat yourself but the way you treat other moms.

Because we all deserve it, and now more than ever, we need each other.-M

p.s.: I wrote about the origins of belief and the benefits of challenging them over at @meaganfrancis today. Would love to hear your thoughts.
New episode! What we remember from childhood help New episode!

What we remember from childhood helps build our narrative of who we were - even if those memories are fuzzy or slightly flawed. Today Meagan and Sarah get in the way-WAY-back machine and reflect on what we were like as kids and teens. As a child, Meagan was dreamy, imaginative, chatty, and obsessed with balloons (!!), while Sarah was studious, quiet-but-sociable, responsible, and circumstantially prone to tears. We touch on how our personalities developed as we grew up, whether we were “popular” or not, and if we felt clueless or confident come high school. Join us for this fun More Than Mom to get a glimpse into our growing up years (at least the way we remember it!).

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #growingup #childhoodmemories #memories
The Powers family is road-tripping this weekend, a The Powers family is road-tripping this weekend, and I (Sarah) wanted to share two things:

1️⃣ In Episode 365 we shared listeners’ best family travel tips, and so many moms talked about stocking up on snacks (you can’t have too many, they said!). ONE listener shared that their family does the opposite: bring almost zero snacks so that kids are plenty hungry when it’s time to stop, and so that those gas station purchases seem even more special. We tried the latter today and it worked GREAT for my kids. We had some very uninteresting, nutritious snacks in the car, and then we let them each pick two things from our first convenience store stop. They were THRILLED, and I didn’t overbuy on stuff nobody wanted.

💡 Takeaway: Sometimes the opposite of what everyone else is doing is right for you! 

2️⃣ Meagan and I made a conscious decision last year to move away from recommending Amazon (and profiting from those recommendations) as the solution for *everything*. It’s not a boycott at all - just a gentle redirection  of our influence toward small, local, or even just *different* retailers. In my personal life, I have moved away from Amazon for almost all recurring everyday essentials, and it has felt right for me. HOWEVER: When stocking up for a road trip, bless the everything store and Jeff B take all my money. These seatback caddies with touch screens for iPads are cheap and may not last beyond this trip but they’re working GREAT.

💡 Takeaway: The 80/20 rule is a-OK. If you need permission to break your own rules, consider this it.

Safe travels, friends. ♥️
One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refresh One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refreshed for 2022! Click this image at the link in our bio to read the just-structured-enough approach Sarah took during those long AZ summers at home when her kids were 6, 4, and 1.5. 😎 

#stayathomemom #preschoolers #summermomlife #arizonasummer #summerschedulefortoddlers #summerscheduledforpreschoolers #samplesummerschedule #summerdaysathom
New episode! Most of us enjoy having a clean and New episode!

Most of us enjoy having a clean and tidy home, but have you ever kept track of how much you do throughout the week to keep it that way? In today’s episode, Meagan and Sarah share what seven days of real-life housework looks like in our homes. We reflect on the tasks we knew went into running a home, and some surprising ones we never thought of as housework before (like picking plums and chasing chickens!). Whether you prioritize deep-cleaning on a regular schedule or tend to tidy as you go and hope for the best, it’s eye-opening and gratifying to acknowledge the work that goes into managing a home full of kids.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #endlesscleaning #housework #cleaning #tidyingup #
Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes per day while away at school 7 hours per day, how many additional dishes will they dirty while home all day for summer break?

67. The answer is 67. Yes, I’ve checked my work! Maybe someone who passed calculus can explain? 🤪 -M

#mommath #drowningindishes #summerbreakisnotreallyabreak
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New episode! If you travel with kids, it’s just New episode!

If you travel with kids, it’s just a matter of time before a trip goes off the rails in spectacular fashion. Maybe it’s a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, or an expensive vacation spent sick in a pricey hotel room. Today Sarah is joined by @catieparrish @stacybronec @emilyeroark and @lisaapayne4 – regular contributors to the show and seasoned travelers with a combined 13 kids – who share their most memorable travel mishap stories. (Full disclaimer: there will be puke-talk.) In sharing these stories, we hope to normalize that travel with kids doesn’t have to go perfectly to be “worth it” and remind you that you’re not alone if this summer’s adventures go awry. Plus, one of the only perks to surviving stories like these is that we get to laugh about them later.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #travelingwoes #travelingwithkids #familytravelmishaps
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We're signing off for the long weekend, friends. W We're signing off for the long weekend, friends. We'll be back Tuesday with a new episode, and in the meantime we send you all the good vibes for stress-free celebrations and exactly the type of holiday weekend you have the bandwidth for. Parades optional (IYKYK). Sending love, and we’ll talk to you next week. -M & S
Wise words from @meaganfrancis - written 10+ years Wise words from @meaganfrancis - written 10+ years ago when she had a houseful of little kids and a full-time career. On the podcast this week we talk about making peace with the endlessness that is managing a family home - have you listened? Click this image at the link in our bio to visit the show notes, where you can click play to hear our discussion, as well as find the link to this original blog post. 💛
It’s 5:55 a.m., and my notebook is filled with w It’s 5:55 a.m., and my notebook is filled with words I’ve scratched out since 5:00. I have five minutes until I need to wake the big kids up for school. Taking one last sip of my cold coffee, I stretch my arms above my head, then walk down the hall. The house is still clean, but soon, tiny feet will hit the floor, and the work of parenting and running a household will begin again.

I gently open the kids’ bedroom door and stand on the bottom bunk, reaching my hand into the top bunk to place it on Rhett’s head. His breath is slow and steady; he’s still deep asleep. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the day ahead. 

Opening my eyes, I tickle his head, “Hey buddy, it’s time to get up,” I whisper. “I’ve got breakfast on the table.”

“It’s so early,” he grumbles, curling into a ball. 

“I know, but it’s time,” I say, anticipating what he will say next.

“Can you carry me?” he asks. 

I start to protest; that he’s too heavy and big enough to do it by himself. But I pause, knowing he’s asking me to step back a bit—that he hasn’t made the jump to a “big kid” just yet. And maybe, while there aren’t three easy steps to parenting, he’s reminding me I can do this—one step at a time.

--

✨ Read @stacybronec's essay by clicking this image at the link in our bio. ✨
New episode! Not feeling like an expert in the ho New episode!

Not feeling like an expert in the housework realm? Turns out, very few of feel like we know what we are doing. Last week Meagan and Sarah talked about WHAT we do to keep our households in a state of "good enough," and this week's Part Two is all about the feelings that came up as we tracked a week of real-life housework. We dive into some of our insecurities as home managers, the difference between housework and mothering, and some of the really sticky aspects of finding your identity as a mom and homemaker in the 21st century. We have LOTs of thoughts - and we hope you'll join us!

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #housework #reallifehousework #feelings #homemanagerinsecurities #momin21stcentury
This is me, at the age of 20. In over my head, lea This is me, at the age of 20. In over my head, learning to mother a sweet but mystifying baby boy while most of my friends were in the middle of their junior year of college. I had a stubborn optimistic streak and a supportive family in my corner, but not much else.

When I look at the girl I was then, I'm so glad that optimism won out and that Jacob is here today. Motherhood was a life-altering experience that shaped everything about the person I became.

But when I think about the lack of practical and active societal support that girl and her baby received nearly twenty-five years ago, I'm sad and angry. What (inadequate) assistance was offered came tinged with a sense of failure and shame. And the movement working tirelessly to protect the rights of my unborn baby largely seemed to ignore my personhood except as a means to keep him alive.

Even for the much more privileged, it's a tough time to be a mother. The needs of moms (and by extension, living children) are ignored, and we all pay the price.

At The Mom Hour, we are Pro-Mom. We value our entire community and celebrate that this group represents a diverse set of backgrounds and beliefs. Our goal is to always be part of a dynamic and inclusive conversation, not an echo chamber or soapbox.

We also believe that mothers have immense value in their own right, not merely as a vessel for new life, or the means by which to kept that life fed, warm, clean, disciplined, entertained, and educated for the next 18+ years. Motherhood is not a consequence or a political tool. Mothers should not be the collateral damage of other people's beliefs. We are important, worthy of consideration, and worthy of care.

When I look back at the girl in this picture, I wish I'd known how valuable I was: not just for what I could do for the baby on my hip, but simply because I existed. 

I hope you all know it now, and that it colors not only the way you treat yourself but the way you treat other moms.

Because we all deserve it, and now more than ever, we need each other.-M

p.s.: I wrote about the origins of belief and the benefits of challenging them over at @meaganfrancis today. Would love to hear your thoughts.
New episode! What we remember from childhood help New episode!

What we remember from childhood helps build our narrative of who we were - even if those memories are fuzzy or slightly flawed. Today Meagan and Sarah get in the way-WAY-back machine and reflect on what we were like as kids and teens. As a child, Meagan was dreamy, imaginative, chatty, and obsessed with balloons (!!), while Sarah was studious, quiet-but-sociable, responsible, and circumstantially prone to tears. We touch on how our personalities developed as we grew up, whether we were “popular” or not, and if we felt clueless or confident come high school. Join us for this fun More Than Mom to get a glimpse into our growing up years (at least the way we remember it!).

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #growingup #childhoodmemories #memories
The Powers family is road-tripping this weekend, a The Powers family is road-tripping this weekend, and I (Sarah) wanted to share two things:

1️⃣ In Episode 365 we shared listeners’ best family travel tips, and so many moms talked about stocking up on snacks (you can’t have too many, they said!). ONE listener shared that their family does the opposite: bring almost zero snacks so that kids are plenty hungry when it’s time to stop, and so that those gas station purchases seem even more special. We tried the latter today and it worked GREAT for my kids. We had some very uninteresting, nutritious snacks in the car, and then we let them each pick two things from our first convenience store stop. They were THRILLED, and I didn’t overbuy on stuff nobody wanted.

💡 Takeaway: Sometimes the opposite of what everyone else is doing is right for you! 

2️⃣ Meagan and I made a conscious decision last year to move away from recommending Amazon (and profiting from those recommendations) as the solution for *everything*. It’s not a boycott at all - just a gentle redirection  of our influence toward small, local, or even just *different* retailers. In my personal life, I have moved away from Amazon for almost all recurring everyday essentials, and it has felt right for me. HOWEVER: When stocking up for a road trip, bless the everything store and Jeff B take all my money. These seatback caddies with touch screens for iPads are cheap and may not last beyond this trip but they’re working GREAT.

💡 Takeaway: The 80/20 rule is a-OK. If you need permission to break your own rules, consider this it.

Safe travels, friends. ♥️
One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refresh One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refreshed for 2022! Click this image at the link in our bio to read the just-structured-enough approach Sarah took during those long AZ summers at home when her kids were 6, 4, and 1.5. 😎 

#stayathomemom #preschoolers #summermomlife #arizonasummer #summerschedulefortoddlers #summerscheduledforpreschoolers #samplesummerschedule #summerdaysathom
New episode! Most of us enjoy having a clean and New episode!

Most of us enjoy having a clean and tidy home, but have you ever kept track of how much you do throughout the week to keep it that way? In today’s episode, Meagan and Sarah share what seven days of real-life housework looks like in our homes. We reflect on the tasks we knew went into running a home, and some surprising ones we never thought of as housework before (like picking plums and chasing chickens!). Whether you prioritize deep-cleaning on a regular schedule or tend to tidy as you go and hope for the best, it’s eye-opening and gratifying to acknowledge the work that goes into managing a home full of kids.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #endlesscleaning #housework #cleaning #tidyingup #
Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes per day while away at school 7 hours per day, how many additional dishes will they dirty while home all day for summer break?

67. The answer is 67. Yes, I’ve checked my work! Maybe someone who passed calculus can explain? 🤪 -M

#mommath #drowningindishes #summerbreakisnotreallyabreak

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