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in Episodes on January 26, 2016 by The Mom Hour

Traveling Spouses / Traveling Selves (Part 1): Episode 36

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If your co-parent travels – occasionally 0r all the time – you know that holding down the home front is hard work. In Episode 36 we talk about what we’ve learned from years of experience about how to survive – and even thrive! – when your partner is away.

(Don’t miss next week’s follow-up to this – all about how to deal when you’re the one taking off!)

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(Hint: If you’ve already “Liked” us and aren’t seeing our updates, try interacting with the next few posts in some way (by liking, commenting, or sharing) and you should start to see us show up more in your news feed.)

Links we mentioned (or should have!) in Episode 36

  • Your advice and tips about traveling spouses on our Facebook page and Instagram post (thank you so much!)
  • Call the Midwife – Sarah’s go-to show when she watches TV alone in bed with her glass of wine 😉
  • What I Make for Dinner When I Don’t Feel Like Cooking (Sarah for The Happiest Home)
  • How I Beat the Fast-Food Habit (Meagan for The Happiest Home)

 

Related

Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: marriage, travel, working mom

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« Stuff, Junk & Things: Episode 35
Traveling Spouses / Traveling Selves (Part 2): Episode 37 »

Comments

  1. Amy Meara says

    January 29, 2016 at 12:30 pm

    Hello M and S! I’m a weekly listener and I love your content…the best podcast I’ve found re: motherhood, family-life and being a “modern woman”.

    This past show was great and I could relate to it on many levels. Although my husband doesn’t travel for work, he is gone quiet a bit from March 1-the end of May. He’s a head coach of a local high school baseball team. In today’s world of competitive high school sports, that’s an 80 hour/week job. I enjoyed hearing that other women handle “Daddy being gone” as I do, with sticking to a good schedule, feeding kids good meals, and not giving into the “oh, it’s a night off” call, that is the slippery, tempting slope!

    On the flip side, I do travel 3-4 days a month for my job. I believe you’re addressing this topic in your next episode. It’s funny, because yes, dads have to prepare to be gone but, they do not have to go to the lengths that women have to when leaving their family for a couple days.

    1) I always have to make sure that our online (Cozi) calendar is updated and that notifications are set to remind him of different activities.
    2) I have to go through that calendar with him to confirm that he can get kids to and from those activities. If he can’t, I have to arrange rides for the kids or make sure our babysitter is available and willing to help.
    3) I have to have grocery shopped and let him know what is available for meals…he likes it even better if I’ve already prepared the meals and put them in the fridge to just re-heat.
    4) If I’m gone for more than 3 days…it’s best if I just call in reinforcements…ie: his mom, to come help 🙂

    My husband is fantastic and totally capable of taking care of the kids and himself, but he’s come to rely on me (which I do love) and my organizational skills in all aspects in our lives. So, when I travel for work, I just need to make sure that everything is covered. VS. when he is gone coaching or traveling, he knows it’s covered. 🙂

    Thanks again for your show…I love it!
    Amy Pulk Meara
    amy.m.meara@gmail.com
    Mom of boys, 12 and 10

    Reply
    • Sarah Powers says

      February 1, 2016 at 3:12 pm

      Amy, thank you so much for your wonderful comment, and I TOTALLY relate to so much of what you are saying, particularly about having a fantastic, competent husband who nonetheless relies on my detail-brain. Just this morning I’m working on the details of a very quick – but sort of complicated – mid-week trip coming up for me. It’s a relief to have all those little details figured out so I can look forward to getting away! 🙂 So glad you’re liking the show, and thanks again for commenting!

      Reply

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We're signing off for the long weekend, friends. W We're signing off for the long weekend, friends. We'll be back Tuesday with a new episode, and in the meantime we send you all the good vibes for stress-free celebrations and exactly the type of holiday weekend you have the bandwidth for. Parades optional (IYKYK). Sending love, and we’ll talk to you next week. -M & S
Wise words from @meaganfrancis - written 10+ years Wise words from @meaganfrancis - written 10+ years ago when she had a houseful of little kids and a full-time career. On the podcast this week we talk about making peace with the endlessness that is managing a family home - have you listened? Click this image at the link in our bio to visit the show notes, where you can click play to hear our discussion, as well as find the link to this original blog post. 💛
It’s 5:55 a.m., and my notebook is filled with w It’s 5:55 a.m., and my notebook is filled with words I’ve scratched out since 5:00. I have five minutes until I need to wake the big kids up for school. Taking one last sip of my cold coffee, I stretch my arms above my head, then walk down the hall. The house is still clean, but soon, tiny feet will hit the floor, and the work of parenting and running a household will begin again.

I gently open the kids’ bedroom door and stand on the bottom bunk, reaching my hand into the top bunk to place it on Rhett’s head. His breath is slow and steady; he’s still deep asleep. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the day ahead. 

Opening my eyes, I tickle his head, “Hey buddy, it’s time to get up,” I whisper. “I’ve got breakfast on the table.”

“It’s so early,” he grumbles, curling into a ball. 

“I know, but it’s time,” I say, anticipating what he will say next.

“Can you carry me?” he asks. 

I start to protest; that he’s too heavy and big enough to do it by himself. But I pause, knowing he’s asking me to step back a bit—that he hasn’t made the jump to a “big kid” just yet. And maybe, while there aren’t three easy steps to parenting, he’s reminding me I can do this—one step at a time.

--

✨ Read @stacybronec's essay by clicking this image at the link in our bio. ✨
New episode! Not feeling like an expert in the ho New episode!

Not feeling like an expert in the housework realm? Turns out, very few of feel like we know what we are doing. Last week Meagan and Sarah talked about WHAT we do to keep our households in a state of "good enough," and this week's Part Two is all about the feelings that came up as we tracked a week of real-life housework. We dive into some of our insecurities as home managers, the difference between housework and mothering, and some of the really sticky aspects of finding your identity as a mom and homemaker in the 21st century. We have LOTs of thoughts - and we hope you'll join us!

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #housework #reallifehousework #feelings #homemanagerinsecurities #momin21stcentury
This is me, at the age of 20. In over my head, lea This is me, at the age of 20. In over my head, learning to mother a sweet but mystifying baby boy while most of my friends were in the middle of their junior year of college. I had a stubborn optimistic streak and a supportive family in my corner, but not much else.

When I look at the girl I was then, I'm so glad that optimism won out and that Jacob is here today. Motherhood was a life-altering experience that shaped everything about the person I became.

But when I think about the lack of practical and active societal support that girl and her baby received nearly twenty-five years ago, I'm sad and angry. What (inadequate) assistance was offered came tinged with a sense of failure and shame. And the movement working tirelessly to protect the rights of my unborn baby largely seemed to ignore my personhood except as a means to keep him alive.

Even for the much more privileged, it's a tough time to be a mother. The needs of moms (and by extension, living children) are ignored, and we all pay the price.

At The Mom Hour, we are Pro-Mom. We value our entire community and celebrate that this group represents a diverse set of backgrounds and beliefs. Our goal is to always be part of a dynamic and inclusive conversation, not an echo chamber or soapbox.

We also believe that mothers have immense value in their own right, not merely as a vessel for new life, or the means by which to kept that life fed, warm, clean, disciplined, entertained, and educated for the next 18+ years. Motherhood is not a consequence or a political tool. Mothers should not be the collateral damage of other people's beliefs. We are important, worthy of consideration, and worthy of care.

When I look back at the girl in this picture, I wish I'd known how valuable I was: not just for what I could do for the baby on my hip, but simply because I existed. 

I hope you all know it now, and that it colors not only the way you treat yourself but the way you treat other moms.

Because we all deserve it, and now more than ever, we need each other.-M

p.s.: I wrote about the origins of belief and the benefits of challenging them over at @meaganfrancis today. Would love to hear your thoughts.
New episode! What we remember from childhood help New episode!

What we remember from childhood helps build our narrative of who we were - even if those memories are fuzzy or slightly flawed. Today Meagan and Sarah get in the way-WAY-back machine and reflect on what we were like as kids and teens. As a child, Meagan was dreamy, imaginative, chatty, and obsessed with balloons (!!), while Sarah was studious, quiet-but-sociable, responsible, and circumstantially prone to tears. We touch on how our personalities developed as we grew up, whether we were “popular” or not, and if we felt clueless or confident come high school. Join us for this fun More Than Mom to get a glimpse into our growing up years (at least the way we remember it!).

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #growingup #childhoodmemories #memories
The Powers family is road-tripping this weekend, a The Powers family is road-tripping this weekend, and I (Sarah) wanted to share two things:

1️⃣ In Episode 365 we shared listeners’ best family travel tips, and so many moms talked about stocking up on snacks (you can’t have too many, they said!). ONE listener shared that their family does the opposite: bring almost zero snacks so that kids are plenty hungry when it’s time to stop, and so that those gas station purchases seem even more special. We tried the latter today and it worked GREAT for my kids. We had some very uninteresting, nutritious snacks in the car, and then we let them each pick two things from our first convenience store stop. They were THRILLED, and I didn’t overbuy on stuff nobody wanted.

💡 Takeaway: Sometimes the opposite of what everyone else is doing is right for you! 

2️⃣ Meagan and I made a conscious decision last year to move away from recommending Amazon (and profiting from those recommendations) as the solution for *everything*. It’s not a boycott at all - just a gentle redirection  of our influence toward small, local, or even just *different* retailers. In my personal life, I have moved away from Amazon for almost all recurring everyday essentials, and it has felt right for me. HOWEVER: When stocking up for a road trip, bless the everything store and Jeff B take all my money. These seatback caddies with touch screens for iPads are cheap and may not last beyond this trip but they’re working GREAT.

💡 Takeaway: The 80/20 rule is a-OK. If you need permission to break your own rules, consider this it.

Safe travels, friends. ♥️
One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refresh One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refreshed for 2022! Click this image at the link in our bio to read the just-structured-enough approach Sarah took during those long AZ summers at home when her kids were 6, 4, and 1.5. 😎 

#stayathomemom #preschoolers #summermomlife #arizonasummer #summerschedulefortoddlers #summerscheduledforpreschoolers #samplesummerschedule #summerdaysathom
New episode! Most of us enjoy having a clean and New episode!

Most of us enjoy having a clean and tidy home, but have you ever kept track of how much you do throughout the week to keep it that way? In today’s episode, Meagan and Sarah share what seven days of real-life housework looks like in our homes. We reflect on the tasks we knew went into running a home, and some surprising ones we never thought of as housework before (like picking plums and chasing chickens!). Whether you prioritize deep-cleaning on a regular schedule or tend to tidy as you go and hope for the best, it’s eye-opening and gratifying to acknowledge the work that goes into managing a home full of kids.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #endlesscleaning #housework #cleaning #tidyingup #
Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes per day while away at school 7 hours per day, how many additional dishes will they dirty while home all day for summer break?

67. The answer is 67. Yes, I’ve checked my work! Maybe someone who passed calculus can explain? 🤪 -M

#mommath #drowningindishes #summerbreakisnotreallyabreak
Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June spons Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June sponsors! Every month, we like to take a little time to shoutout our partners who help support the show + remind our listeners of some of the great deals our sponsors are offering. For more info, specific promo codes, and links, just search the brand name on our website, and they'll pop up in our episode show notes. We also collect ALL our active promo codes (even the old ones that are still working!) in our email newsletter - which is full of other great things we want to share with you, too. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today. 

Meet our NEW partners this month . . .
🗣️ @connectspeech (early language support!)
💙 @appahealth (1st month of mentorship free!)
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And welcome back to . . .
⭐️ @paireyewear (15% off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @autoapprove ($100 when you refinance!)
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New episode! If you travel with kids, it’s just New episode!

If you travel with kids, it’s just a matter of time before a trip goes off the rails in spectacular fashion. Maybe it’s a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, or an expensive vacation spent sick in a pricey hotel room. Today Sarah is joined by @catieparrish @stacybronec @emilyeroark and @lisaapayne4 – regular contributors to the show and seasoned travelers with a combined 13 kids – who share their most memorable travel mishap stories. (Full disclaimer: there will be puke-talk.) In sharing these stories, we hope to normalize that travel with kids doesn’t have to go perfectly to be “worth it” and remind you that you’re not alone if this summer’s adventures go awry. Plus, one of the only perks to surviving stories like these is that we get to laugh about them later.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #travelingwoes #travelingwithkids #familytravelmishaps
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We're signing off for the long weekend, friends. W We're signing off for the long weekend, friends. We'll be back Tuesday with a new episode, and in the meantime we send you all the good vibes for stress-free celebrations and exactly the type of holiday weekend you have the bandwidth for. Parades optional (IYKYK). Sending love, and we’ll talk to you next week. -M & S
Wise words from @meaganfrancis - written 10+ years Wise words from @meaganfrancis - written 10+ years ago when she had a houseful of little kids and a full-time career. On the podcast this week we talk about making peace with the endlessness that is managing a family home - have you listened? Click this image at the link in our bio to visit the show notes, where you can click play to hear our discussion, as well as find the link to this original blog post. 💛
It’s 5:55 a.m., and my notebook is filled with w It’s 5:55 a.m., and my notebook is filled with words I’ve scratched out since 5:00. I have five minutes until I need to wake the big kids up for school. Taking one last sip of my cold coffee, I stretch my arms above my head, then walk down the hall. The house is still clean, but soon, tiny feet will hit the floor, and the work of parenting and running a household will begin again.

I gently open the kids’ bedroom door and stand on the bottom bunk, reaching my hand into the top bunk to place it on Rhett’s head. His breath is slow and steady; he’s still deep asleep. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the day ahead. 

Opening my eyes, I tickle his head, “Hey buddy, it’s time to get up,” I whisper. “I’ve got breakfast on the table.”

“It’s so early,” he grumbles, curling into a ball. 

“I know, but it’s time,” I say, anticipating what he will say next.

“Can you carry me?” he asks. 

I start to protest; that he’s too heavy and big enough to do it by himself. But I pause, knowing he’s asking me to step back a bit—that he hasn’t made the jump to a “big kid” just yet. And maybe, while there aren’t three easy steps to parenting, he’s reminding me I can do this—one step at a time.

--

✨ Read @stacybronec's essay by clicking this image at the link in our bio. ✨
New episode! Not feeling like an expert in the ho New episode!

Not feeling like an expert in the housework realm? Turns out, very few of feel like we know what we are doing. Last week Meagan and Sarah talked about WHAT we do to keep our households in a state of "good enough," and this week's Part Two is all about the feelings that came up as we tracked a week of real-life housework. We dive into some of our insecurities as home managers, the difference between housework and mothering, and some of the really sticky aspects of finding your identity as a mom and homemaker in the 21st century. We have LOTs of thoughts - and we hope you'll join us!

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #housework #reallifehousework #feelings #homemanagerinsecurities #momin21stcentury
This is me, at the age of 20. In over my head, lea This is me, at the age of 20. In over my head, learning to mother a sweet but mystifying baby boy while most of my friends were in the middle of their junior year of college. I had a stubborn optimistic streak and a supportive family in my corner, but not much else.

When I look at the girl I was then, I'm so glad that optimism won out and that Jacob is here today. Motherhood was a life-altering experience that shaped everything about the person I became.

But when I think about the lack of practical and active societal support that girl and her baby received nearly twenty-five years ago, I'm sad and angry. What (inadequate) assistance was offered came tinged with a sense of failure and shame. And the movement working tirelessly to protect the rights of my unborn baby largely seemed to ignore my personhood except as a means to keep him alive.

Even for the much more privileged, it's a tough time to be a mother. The needs of moms (and by extension, living children) are ignored, and we all pay the price.

At The Mom Hour, we are Pro-Mom. We value our entire community and celebrate that this group represents a diverse set of backgrounds and beliefs. Our goal is to always be part of a dynamic and inclusive conversation, not an echo chamber or soapbox.

We also believe that mothers have immense value in their own right, not merely as a vessel for new life, or the means by which to kept that life fed, warm, clean, disciplined, entertained, and educated for the next 18+ years. Motherhood is not a consequence or a political tool. Mothers should not be the collateral damage of other people's beliefs. We are important, worthy of consideration, and worthy of care.

When I look back at the girl in this picture, I wish I'd known how valuable I was: not just for what I could do for the baby on my hip, but simply because I existed. 

I hope you all know it now, and that it colors not only the way you treat yourself but the way you treat other moms.

Because we all deserve it, and now more than ever, we need each other.-M

p.s.: I wrote about the origins of belief and the benefits of challenging them over at @meaganfrancis today. Would love to hear your thoughts.
New episode! What we remember from childhood help New episode!

What we remember from childhood helps build our narrative of who we were - even if those memories are fuzzy or slightly flawed. Today Meagan and Sarah get in the way-WAY-back machine and reflect on what we were like as kids and teens. As a child, Meagan was dreamy, imaginative, chatty, and obsessed with balloons (!!), while Sarah was studious, quiet-but-sociable, responsible, and circumstantially prone to tears. We touch on how our personalities developed as we grew up, whether we were “popular” or not, and if we felt clueless or confident come high school. Join us for this fun More Than Mom to get a glimpse into our growing up years (at least the way we remember it!).

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #growingup #childhoodmemories #memories
The Powers family is road-tripping this weekend, a The Powers family is road-tripping this weekend, and I (Sarah) wanted to share two things:

1️⃣ In Episode 365 we shared listeners’ best family travel tips, and so many moms talked about stocking up on snacks (you can’t have too many, they said!). ONE listener shared that their family does the opposite: bring almost zero snacks so that kids are plenty hungry when it’s time to stop, and so that those gas station purchases seem even more special. We tried the latter today and it worked GREAT for my kids. We had some very uninteresting, nutritious snacks in the car, and then we let them each pick two things from our first convenience store stop. They were THRILLED, and I didn’t overbuy on stuff nobody wanted.

💡 Takeaway: Sometimes the opposite of what everyone else is doing is right for you! 

2️⃣ Meagan and I made a conscious decision last year to move away from recommending Amazon (and profiting from those recommendations) as the solution for *everything*. It’s not a boycott at all - just a gentle redirection  of our influence toward small, local, or even just *different* retailers. In my personal life, I have moved away from Amazon for almost all recurring everyday essentials, and it has felt right for me. HOWEVER: When stocking up for a road trip, bless the everything store and Jeff B take all my money. These seatback caddies with touch screens for iPads are cheap and may not last beyond this trip but they’re working GREAT.

💡 Takeaway: The 80/20 rule is a-OK. If you need permission to break your own rules, consider this it.

Safe travels, friends. ♥️
One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refresh One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refreshed for 2022! Click this image at the link in our bio to read the just-structured-enough approach Sarah took during those long AZ summers at home when her kids were 6, 4, and 1.5. 😎 

#stayathomemom #preschoolers #summermomlife #arizonasummer #summerschedulefortoddlers #summerscheduledforpreschoolers #samplesummerschedule #summerdaysathom
New episode! Most of us enjoy having a clean and New episode!

Most of us enjoy having a clean and tidy home, but have you ever kept track of how much you do throughout the week to keep it that way? In today’s episode, Meagan and Sarah share what seven days of real-life housework looks like in our homes. We reflect on the tasks we knew went into running a home, and some surprising ones we never thought of as housework before (like picking plums and chasing chickens!). Whether you prioritize deep-cleaning on a regular schedule or tend to tidy as you go and hope for the best, it’s eye-opening and gratifying to acknowledge the work that goes into managing a home full of kids.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #endlesscleaning #housework #cleaning #tidyingup #
Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes per day while away at school 7 hours per day, how many additional dishes will they dirty while home all day for summer break?

67. The answer is 67. Yes, I’ve checked my work! Maybe someone who passed calculus can explain? 🤪 -M

#mommath #drowningindishes #summerbreakisnotreallyabreak

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