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in Blog on October 23, 2021 by Jayme Sherrod

A Lesson Learned From A Costumeless Halloween

By Jayme Sherrod | @jaymesherrod

It was Halloween 2020, the first major celebration of what was expected to be a very abnormal holiday season; thus my expectations were low. My bar for most things in motherhood stays pretty low, and the bar for Halloween 2020 was virtually touching the ground.

At the time, I had a two-and-a-half-year-old and a five-month-old along for her first Halloween ride. The time came to get ready, and my oldest said, quite calmly, “I’m not wearing that,” when I tried to hand him his adorable dinosaur costume. Well, in line with my strategy of keeping my motherhood bar low, I barely flinched, my shoulders gave a shrug, and I said, “Okay.”

We stepped outside, grabbed the scooter for my oldest, the stroller for the baby, and a paper bag for the candy. We visited eight houses, and I recall four of them questioning the whereabouts of my son’s costume. Confidently and calmly, I responded that he didn’t want to wear it, and we were cool with that. I felt good about this. I felt even better about our night. In fact, I think it was one of the best Halloweens I could remember.

After bottoming-out from a quick sugar rush, the kids went happily to sleep. I grabbed my phone and began to scroll, and my emotions began to turn. I saw, what felt like at the time, hundreds of photos of kids dressed up for Halloween. Suddenly I lost every bit of confidence and joy I had gained in the last three hours.

Should I have made him wear the costume?

I didn’t even take any pictures.

They will never be this age again.

Maybe my bar was too low.

You see, social media has a way – albeit, I think quite unintentionally – of getting even the most confident of moms to question themselves. Just to be clear, I am rarely super confident in my parenting decisions, and I think that’s what made this experience cut so much deeper – I had felt good about what we did, so the fall from that confidence was a lot farther.

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last year thinking about this experience, and here’s what I’ve learned. Remember that low bar I set for so many areas of my life? Well for some reason, when I raise my phone up to eye-level, the bar tends to rise with it. And we as moms deserve so much more grace.

So here is what I have committed to going forward, and I welcome you to adapt these commitments to your life as well.

  1. My family and I will enjoy holidays in whatever way feels good, comfortable, and right for us in that season – in that moment.
  2. If I need to take a break from social media around certain holidays, I can and I should.
  3. If I do choose to pick up my phone on or around a holiday, I must first remind myself that my family and I are doing what is best for us, and that will always be good enough.

Mama, as we head into the season of the year that is full of social media photos displaying idealistic family outings and outfits, remember you get to set your bar – even for when you scroll.

So here’s to a Halloween of kids without costumes, parents without cameras, and one or two handfuls of delicious candy.

Jayme Sherrod | @jaymesherrod

Jayme (pictured on the right) and her wife Amanda live in a suburb just outside of Raleigh, North Carolina, with their son and daughter. Before her motherhood journey began in 2018, Jayme worked as a Registered Nurse and has since transitioned to being a full-time stay-at-home mom of two kiddos and three fur babies. When able, she loves baking, hiking, and sipping (hot!) coffee on the porch – no matter the time of year.

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: holidays & celebrations, toddlers

About Jayme Sherrod

Jayme and her wife Amanda live in a suburb just outside of Raleigh, North Carolina, with their son and daughter. Before her motherhood journey began in 2018, Jayme worked as a Registered Nurse and has since transitioned to being a full-time stay-at-home mom of two kiddos and three fur babies. When able, she loves baking, hiking, and sipping (hot!) coffee on the porch – no matter the time of year.

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One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refresh One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refreshed for 2022! Click this image at the link in our bio to read the just-structured-enough approach Sarah took during those long AZ summers at home when her kids were 6, 4, and 1.5. 😎 

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#mommath #drowningindishes #summerbreakisnotreallyabreak
Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June spons Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June sponsors! Every month, we like to take a little time to shoutout our partners who help support the show + remind our listeners of some of the great deals our sponsors are offering. For more info, specific promo codes, and links, just search the brand name on our website, and they'll pop up in our episode show notes. We also collect ALL our active promo codes (even the old ones that are still working!) in our email newsletter - which is full of other great things we want to share with you, too. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today. 

Meet our NEW partners this month . . .
🗣️ @connectspeech (early language support!)
💙 @appahealth (1st month of mentorship free!)
💄 @thrivecausemetics (15% off your 1st order)

And welcome back to . . .
⭐️ @paireyewear (15% off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @autoapprove ($100 when you refinance!)
⭐️ @outschool ($15 off your child's 1st class!)
⭐️ @mindandchild ($20 off Parenting 101 course!)
⭐️ @flowkey_com (20% off subscription piano app!)
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @publicgoods ($15 off, no minimum!)
⭐️ @scholasticinc (books for kids of all ages!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (30% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @ritual (10% off 1st 3 mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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New on the blog this week from @kiamhammond: Learn New on the blog this week from @kiamhammond: Learning About Juneteenth, As A Family.

"Like many families, mine is still figuring out how to teach our children about Juneteenth, as learning the history wasn't part of my education or my husband's when we were kids. The good news is, books written for children and families are a great way for the whole family to learn (and there are a lot of them!)."

Click this image at the link in our bio to read Kia’s book recommendations and more ways to start the conversation at home with your family.

#juneteenth #history #blackhistory #parenting #juneteenthbooksforkids #summerreading
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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #momtruisms #momtruths #parentingadvice #motherhoodstruggles
Just a “hello” from last-week-me, who spent 30 Just a “hello” from last-week-me, who spent 30 minutes moving 25 chickens by hand from their home to the new chicken yard, because they refused to go on their own. And then an hour moving them back, because same.

It reminded me a lot of mothering a toddler, and got me wondering: what’s the most ridiculous thing mom life has brought you in the past week? -M
New episode! Have you ever fantasized about atten New episode!

Have you ever fantasized about attending a camp-like environment for grown-ups? Much about the classic summer camp experience is appealing to us (though not EVERYTHING--we could certainly do without the bugs), and the idea of simply showing up for a perfectly curated experience without any responsibility, or planning, sounds AMAZING. Listen to this fun More Than Mom to hear all of our must-have activities (like food and wine tastings, yoga, personal style consults and more!), things that would be a hard no (like swimming in the gross, murky lake or participating in corny, guided crafts) and our daydreams about creating a Mom Hour Retreat (maybe someday?)!

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #summercamps #womenretreats #momretreat
New on the blog this week from @jaymesherrod: LGBT New on the blog this week from @jaymesherrod: LGBTQ+ Resources For Parents (And Anyone Who Wants To Learn!). 

"The fact is, none of us will get it right every time. Not with each other, and certainly not with our kids. But it’s important that we keep showing up and having the conversations anyway."

Click this image at the link in our bio to access Jayme's roundup of resources.

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