• Home
  • About
    • New? Start Here.
    • Meet The Co-Hosts
    • Meet The Contributors
  • Sponsor
  • Contact
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Twitter

The Mom Hour

Happier motherhood starts here.

  • New? Start Here.
  • Podcast
    • Recent Episodes
    • Complete Archives
    • Search By Topic
  • Blog
  • Ages & Stages
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • Preschoolers
    • Big Kids
    • Tweens & Teens
  • Shop

in Blog on May 5, 2021 by Sarah Powers

Holding Onto What’s Underneath

This essay originally appeared in our monthly newsletter for The Mom Hour podcast. To get our emails, subscribe here. –Sarah

You’ve probably heard me talk about one pandemic discovery that I’m keeping forever: the at-home hair color that has allowed me to touch up my gray roots every three or four weeks without going to a salon.

It’s a win in every possible way: It’s affordable ($9 for the box, which lasts for at least three uses, vs. the $70 + tip I was spending every five weeks in the salon). It saves me time (takes about 20 minutes, vs. an hour-plus the old way). The results are fantastic (I use the dark brown color and it’s a great match). And I’ve come to genuinely enjoy the ritual of a locked bathroom door, a really great extended podcast-listening session, and a personal grooming process that appeals both to my artistic side AND my detail-oriented inner perfectionist.

So as the world begins to open up again, you won’t find me back in the salon every five weeks. Instead, I’ll probably go two or three times a year for a cut and all-over color, or some fun highlights, the way I used to do before I got so gray.

Although it’s arguably quite safe to do so, I haven’t made that first post-shutdown salon appointment yet, and I’m realizing that I’m a little hesitant. I’m beyond overdue, of course. I had one open-air quickie trim in my own backyard in late May 2020, and that’s it since the pandemic began, so the l last time I was in a salon was almost 15 months ago. My hair is as long as it has ever been, the ends are dry, and a professional update to the cut and color would, I’m assuming, feel really great.

But. 

As much as I delight in concealing the abundant natural gray that lines my hairline and weaves through my part, I’m harboring a little secret underneath the touched-up top of my head. I have silver strands that start at the base of my neck and all through the middle of my hair that are now over six inches long. February 2020 to May 2021 inches long. Fourteen months of pandemic survival inches long. Three kids and two adults Zooming from home inches long. You never thought this would be your life but it is inches long.

You won’t see them in a photo, or even in person unless you’re looking. But my secret survival grays wind visibly through a french braid and, when my hair is in a top knot, are on display loud and proud at the back of my head where the hair from my neck is pulled upward toward the bun.

And I sort of love them. 

I love having such basic, biological evidence of the passage of time since my last pro dye job. It feels like a reminder that while we gave up a whole lot last spring – trips and parties, hopes and dreams – our bodies kept trucking along. We had periods and grew fingernails; got pimples, popped pimples, swore off popping pimples. Some of you reading this grew HUMANS, birthed humans, nursed humans. And while a lot of these examples shift their shapes or ebb and flow, my inches of gray root-growth stretch out like a measuring tape of pandemic time.

Which is why, weird as it sounds, I feel a little sad at the thought of having them dyed to match the rest of my hair. I’m not ready to go full silver vixen, but I’m also not ready to let go of this proof of pandemic life.

And maybe that’s where a lot of us are right now. On the surface, like the freshly touched-up dark brown crown of my head, we’re shiny and pretty and ready to meet the day. We’re making plans and booking flights and starting to hug our friends. But underneath we’re holding on to something from the past year that, while it looks nothing like what we thought we wanted, is strangely beautiful and undeniably a part of us now.

I don’t know if or when I’ll make a salon appointment, but I do know that the weird pride I feel at my less-obvious grays is mine to hold onto. It’s a small but ever-present reminder of what I am capable of – what we’re all capable of – when life doesn’t go as planned.

And that’s something I’m in no hurry to hide.

Header Photo by Edgar Hernández on Unsplash

Related

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: self

About Sarah Powers

Sarah Powers is co-host and Executive Producer of The Mom Hour podcast. She lives in Santa Barbara, CA with her husband and three kids, ages 9, 11, and 13.

deals from our partners


Shop Jane

When you click through these links and make a purchase, we earn a small commission at no additional cost to you (and we only partner with brands we’ve used and truly love!).

« Why Mother’s Day Is Hard (And How To Make It What You Want This Year): Episode 311
Freaking Out Less About Starting Kindergarten & Elementary School Academics: Voices 60 With Kelly Hiltz »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Search

Featured Sponsors

On Instagram

themomhour

Top 10 parenting podcast hosted by @meaganfrancis (MI) & @powersofmine (SoCal). 8 kids between us, little to grown. Happier motherhood starts here.

The Mom Hour
If you listened to this week's episode, you heard If you listened to this week's episode, you heard @cafedumartin talk about the zone-by-zone home reset she does every January (and.... into February). Swipe to see the playroom that zapped Joanna of her reset mojo for a couple weeks - and keep swiping for some more bite-sized tidying she's done recently!

Joanna shares LOTS of in-progress decluttering on her Insta, so pop on over there and give her a follow!

Any questions about what you heard in the episode? We (both Sarah & Joanna) are around to answer - just drop a comment!

#homereset #januaryhomereset #decluttering #livingwithkids #mariekondo #beforeandafter #blacktrashbagenergy #momlife #stayathomemom
New episode! Big black trash bag energy is in ful New episode!

Big black trash bag energy is in full effect over here! In this episode Sarah is joined by contributor @cafedumartin for a conversation about how, why and what we are getting rid of this January. We talk strategic home resets, major junk-hauling, and tips for ongoing clutter maintenance. And while on the surface this episode is about physical stuff, we also acknowledge the emotional complexity that surrounds getting rid of stuff.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in t This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in the snow, well into our third year of dating, captures so much. 

But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

It also doesn't tell you about how much I (grudgingly) grew during that period of singleness. 

The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

that person is enough.
Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
🎒 20% off Valentine photo cards, & classroom Valentines
🎁 20% off photo & stationery gifts on orders $250+
💕 15% off ALL orders with code BEMINE23.
🗓️ Sale ends Monday 1/30!

The Mom Hour is part of Minted's affiliate program, which means if you shop our links we'll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

#kindergarten #firstgrade #valentinebox #leprechauntrap #shoeboxcraft #roomparent #roommom #classroomvalentines #parenting #momlife #parentingtip #tipsformoms
Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for presch Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for preschoolers? Even for kids who want to GO GO GO all day long, having a built-in pause in the day can help develop independent play skills, encourage rest, and - of course - give caregivers a chance to reset as well.

Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

Sandy (@hopefulsmiles) give tips for implementing a successful quiet time routine AND rounds up products and activities that help make independent play more likely - even in young preschoolers. Check it out by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#quiettime #parentingtoddlers #parentingpreschoolers #momoflittles #stayathomemom #stayathomeparent #activitiesforpreschoolers #activitiesfortoddlers #threeyearolds #fouryearolds #fiveyearolds #momlife #sahm #sahmlife
New episode! Does solitude come naturally to your New episode!

Does solitude come naturally to your kids, or are moments of solo play far and few between? Meagan and Sarah read some research recently that challenged us to think about the importance of alone time, and whether our kids get enough. In this episode, we dive into our own childhood memories, how our children embrace (or run from) solitude, and how challenging it is to find that just-right balance. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
New episode! With all the day-to-day planning requ New episode! With all the day-to-day planning required to run a household, it's easy to put longterm planning on the back burner. Today Meagan and Sarah share lessons we've learned (or are still learning) that help us look ahead at a whole year, quarter, or month at a time. From knowing ourselves and our seasonal rhythms to figuring out where they keep next year's school calendar, we've picked up a few things over the years, and we're ready to dive in for 2023. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal y Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal you heard on our podcast? You're in luck because here's our sponsor roundup for January. Once a month, we use this space to thank our partners and remind you of their special offers. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight or search the brand name on our website. And when you do check out our sponsors + use our links and codes, it helps support our show! We also collect ALL our active promo codes in our email newsletter - which is full of our latest episodes and blog posts, personal updates, community news, and more. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today.

Shoutout to our NEW sponsors:
🍳 @caraway_home (10% off gorgeous, non-toxic cookware!)
💪 @futurefitapp (risk-free trial of 1-on-1 personal training!)
🔪 @prepdish (2 weeks free of healthy, prep-ahead meal plans!)
🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (50% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute, comfy shoes!)
Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, high school registration. As we discussed in this week's episode, we still get all the feels when older kids meet cultural or developmental milestones - even if they cringe when we celebrate and share.

Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-d Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-digits, you find yourself staring a different milestone right in the (puffy) face:

It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

This photo was taken the morning of my scheduled c-section, just a few hours before we'd meet our third and last babe. It's hard to remember, but I'm SURE I was ready to be done. Constant braxton-hicks, heartburn I hadn't experienced with the other two, food aversions that lasted the whole 39w5d, and physical exhaustion trying to keep up with a 2- and 4-year old: all part of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy, but still nobody's idea of easy.

I don't miss it - being pregnant. Grateful to have had the experience, absolutely. But I've never really pined for another go-around, at least not seriously. Still, a whole decade removed feels as significant a milestone to me as does the notion that that double-dimpled babe will blow out ten candles this weekend.

Time, like, whoa. 

-Sarah
If you're looking at school options for Fall 2023, If you're looking at school options for Fall 2023, you might be feeling overwhelmed by school tours, open houses, registration deadlines, or the all-too-common "red shirting question". That's why today we're revisiting an enormously detailed resource on our site: 

➡️ What Teachers & Educators Wish Parents Knew About Making School Decisions ⬅️

This piece is a collaboration between four educators on our team whose careers span preschool through middle school. They weigh in what what they wish parents knew about things like...

...choosing “the right school” 
...what it means to be “ready for kindergarten” 
...visiting a school for a tour or open house 
...learning to read 
...kids and friendships; playground politics
...making school decisions for a special needs student 
...becoming part of a classroom or school community 
 
Click this image at the link in our bio to get the guide. Bookmark it, send it to your co-parent or mom friends, and use it as a starting place as you wade through this tricky time of year! 

@lisaapayne4 @ashleydawn519 @thepaperdart @cafedumartin
Load More... Follow on Instagram

As Seen On

Today Parents

Send us an email

Can’t find what you’re looking for? Email hello@themomhour.com and we’re here to help!

looking for something?

If you listened to this week's episode, you heard If you listened to this week's episode, you heard @cafedumartin talk about the zone-by-zone home reset she does every January (and.... into February). Swipe to see the playroom that zapped Joanna of her reset mojo for a couple weeks - and keep swiping for some more bite-sized tidying she's done recently!

Joanna shares LOTS of in-progress decluttering on her Insta, so pop on over there and give her a follow!

Any questions about what you heard in the episode? We (both Sarah & Joanna) are around to answer - just drop a comment!

#homereset #januaryhomereset #decluttering #livingwithkids #mariekondo #beforeandafter #blacktrashbagenergy #momlife #stayathomemom
New episode! Big black trash bag energy is in ful New episode!

Big black trash bag energy is in full effect over here! In this episode Sarah is joined by contributor @cafedumartin for a conversation about how, why and what we are getting rid of this January. We talk strategic home resets, major junk-hauling, and tips for ongoing clutter maintenance. And while on the surface this episode is about physical stuff, we also acknowledge the emotional complexity that surrounds getting rid of stuff.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in t This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in the snow, well into our third year of dating, captures so much. 

But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

It also doesn't tell you about how much I (grudgingly) grew during that period of singleness. 

The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

that person is enough.
Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
🎒 20% off Valentine photo cards, & classroom Valentines
🎁 20% off photo & stationery gifts on orders $250+
💕 15% off ALL orders with code BEMINE23.
🗓️ Sale ends Monday 1/30!

The Mom Hour is part of Minted's affiliate program, which means if you shop our links we'll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

#kindergarten #firstgrade #valentinebox #leprechauntrap #shoeboxcraft #roomparent #roommom #classroomvalentines #parenting #momlife #parentingtip #tipsformoms
Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for presch Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for preschoolers? Even for kids who want to GO GO GO all day long, having a built-in pause in the day can help develop independent play skills, encourage rest, and - of course - give caregivers a chance to reset as well.

Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

Sandy (@hopefulsmiles) give tips for implementing a successful quiet time routine AND rounds up products and activities that help make independent play more likely - even in young preschoolers. Check it out by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#quiettime #parentingtoddlers #parentingpreschoolers #momoflittles #stayathomemom #stayathomeparent #activitiesforpreschoolers #activitiesfortoddlers #threeyearolds #fouryearolds #fiveyearolds #momlife #sahm #sahmlife
New episode! Does solitude come naturally to your New episode!

Does solitude come naturally to your kids, or are moments of solo play far and few between? Meagan and Sarah read some research recently that challenged us to think about the importance of alone time, and whether our kids get enough. In this episode, we dive into our own childhood memories, how our children embrace (or run from) solitude, and how challenging it is to find that just-right balance. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
New episode! With all the day-to-day planning requ New episode! With all the day-to-day planning required to run a household, it's easy to put longterm planning on the back burner. Today Meagan and Sarah share lessons we've learned (or are still learning) that help us look ahead at a whole year, quarter, or month at a time. From knowing ourselves and our seasonal rhythms to figuring out where they keep next year's school calendar, we've picked up a few things over the years, and we're ready to dive in for 2023. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal y Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal you heard on our podcast? You're in luck because here's our sponsor roundup for January. Once a month, we use this space to thank our partners and remind you of their special offers. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight or search the brand name on our website. And when you do check out our sponsors + use our links and codes, it helps support our show! We also collect ALL our active promo codes in our email newsletter - which is full of our latest episodes and blog posts, personal updates, community news, and more. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today.

Shoutout to our NEW sponsors:
🍳 @caraway_home (10% off gorgeous, non-toxic cookware!)
💪 @futurefitapp (risk-free trial of 1-on-1 personal training!)
🔪 @prepdish (2 weeks free of healthy, prep-ahead meal plans!)
🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (50% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute, comfy shoes!)
Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, high school registration. As we discussed in this week's episode, we still get all the feels when older kids meet cultural or developmental milestones - even if they cringe when we celebrate and share.

Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers

Copyright © 2023 · Life, Listened
Development by Cipher