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in Blog on November 30, 2020 by Meagan Francis

Meagan’s Holiday Help, Day 1: Claim your “white space” this holiday season.

All month long, I’ll be sharing a daily pick-me-up, tip, or dose of inspiration to help you find perspective during the month of December. We invite you to check back until December 25 for these mini pep-talks as we prepare for a very unusual holiday season. –Meagan

Aren’t traditions a funny thing? Most of the time, they are created so gradually we barely notice, until going to your aunt’s house on Christmas Day with the same cranberry bread you’ve made the past five years in a row no longer feels like an option, but an obligation.

Most of the time, we love those rituals. They’re what give the season shape and make it special. Sometimes they are our sole opportunity to see certain family members or eat specific treats. They can seem to give us a reason to pause the busy-ness of life and focus on our family and friends.

But we’re all facing down a strange, foreign December this year, and the disruption of so many traditions we hold dear. Traveling is likely to be minimal, if it’s happening at all. Gatherings and performances are cancelled. Make no mistake, this holiday season will represent many losses.

But also? Opportunities.

Because as much as we love those traditions, I think we all agree that sometimes they can become a little oppressive. There’s somehow never time for all the things we want to do when we try to squeeze them in around the things we feel we must.

But a global pandemic? Well, that’s the ultimate get-out-of-obligation free card. Who can argue if you do things drastically differently this year? And, considering how discombobulated your friends’ and family members’ holidays are also likely to be, will they even notice what you’re doing – or, more importantly, not doing?

The school performances, holiday concerts and office mixers that tend to dominate the calendar this time of year? Cancelled. Traveling over treacherous, icy highways to visit far-flung family members, praying the entire time your toddler’s coma-level car nap won’t completely ruin bedtime? Postponed indefinitely.

What promise does all that white space hold? Is this the year you go all-in on exterior illumination a la Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation? Maybe this year you’ll take the time to write a hilarious, Covid-edition version of one of those corny holiday family newsletters, or kick off some big, ambitious baking or crafting project you’ve never found the time for in the past. Maybe you’ll take the time to call your grandma, your aunt, or your best friend from childhood and catch up. Or maybe you’ll just do less of everything, except maybe drink cocoa and stare at twinkle lights.

Social pressure is so 2019. Cultural expectations are corona-postponed. The calendar has been completely redefined. And how you spend this month is all up to you and your little family unit.

What will make your home a haven this year? Is it a dining-room table strewn with scraps of felt and sticky dabs of glue, evidence of multiple projects-in-progress? Or clean countertops and minimal (or zero) decor? You probably won’t be entertaining, so forget about making your home presentable: instead, make it livable for you and yours.

While we’re at it, consider that for perhaps the only time in your life, for many of us church is clothing-optional. Nobody will know if your preschooler – or you – are wearing pajamas to your online Sunday-morning Advent service. What could you do with the time you would have spent on the weekly getting-ready process?

It is possible to grieve the loss of things we loved – even if, sometimes, ambivalently – while also eagerly reclaiming those hours to create a holiday that feels the way you want it to.

Nobody quite knows what to do right now, and we’re all being more honest about that fact than ever before. There’s freedom in that collective confusion, because it gives you total license to make the holiday whatever you want – and need – it to be this year.

This holiday will likely be like none you’ve ever known – but it could set the stage for many to come. What new traditions can you start to create today with the white space this holiday will offer?

ACTIVITY: Write down 2-3 words that represent the ideal feeling you would like to create around your holiday season: e.g. peaceful, reverent, and reflective or celebratory, joyous, and festive. Under each word, write a few activities that would help you center your family and home around that feeling. Feel free to share your intentions in the comments below!

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Holiday Help 2020

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Comments

  1. Michelle says

    December 1, 2020 at 4:08 am

    Cozy: I am working on making our little home as cozy as possible this winter. Blankets, candles, slippers, music, pancakes, hot cocoa, I am here for all of it.
    Simple: I am getting rid of the excess stuff in our home so we have less to maintain/tidy/clean etc and more space to relax.
    Dreaming: my husband and I dream about building a small vacation home someday and I am leaning in hard this year to really thinking about exactly what we want from that home. It is totally on the back burner since I have been laid off but I am still keeping my dream alive and feeling hopeful that someday we will return to some sort of new normalcy. For now it is just Pinterest boards and notebook scribbles.

    Reply
    • Meagan Francis says

      December 1, 2020 at 8:34 am

      I love this, Michelle! DREAMING is so important.

      Reply
  2. Lauren Laufersweiler says

    December 1, 2020 at 7:14 am

    Peaceful – I want to continue to enjoy this slower pace and relish in the comforts of home from all the cancelled events.
    Fun – A few years ago, I started wearing a jingle bell around my next during the season to remember to find joy in the holiday chaos. Now I use it to remember to enjoy and smile at simple pleasures.

    Reply
    • Meagan Francis says

      December 1, 2020 at 8:35 am

      Lauren, I love the jingle bell idea! It’s like Pavlov’s dog but for holiday joy 🙂

      Reply
  3. Mel says

    December 1, 2020 at 1:03 pm

    Festive – I want the kids (and adults!) to feel like this is a special time, and possibly the only Christmas we’ll ever have with just the four of us in our nuclear family.

    Calm – I look forward to less scurrying to complete the list and more time to just enjoy. I sent Thanksgiving cards to our nearest (those with whom we have spent Thanksgiving in the past), so don’t feel pressure to send Christmas cards this year as we usually do.

    Reply
  4. Remy says

    December 2, 2020 at 11:17 am

    Fun – I want to keep this season fun, try and get outdoors as much as possible, plan some fun activities for us to do as a family.
    Plan – Plan a warm, normal future. Plan future travel. Plan a possible move to a new city next year.
    Accomplish – this is the most we have been home ever, we are finally able to get to some of the house projects and cleaning up areas we haven’t in years. I like the clutter-free space.

    Reply
  5. Claire says

    December 4, 2020 at 11:14 am

    Is there any way to sign up to have these blogposts delivered via email each day? The podcasts are emailed to me, but the blogposts have not been. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Sarah Powers says

      December 8, 2020 at 3:56 pm

      Hi Claire, We did consider this but did not want to assume all our mail subscribers wanted 25 days in a row of email. Setting up a separate list for this was a bit complicated. We will 100% take this feedback into consideration for next time we do something like this.

      Reply
      • Claire says

        December 9, 2020 at 11:16 am

        Thanks Sarah. I actually did end up finding out a way to subscribe via WordPress, so now everyday a blogpost gets emailed me. I really enjoy the posts as well as the convenience!

        Reply
        • Meagan Francis says

          December 9, 2020 at 11:24 am

          Claire, would you mind sharing how you were able to do this? I think it would be great to help others figure it out – and I so appreciate how long you’ve been around! Thank you!

          Reply
          • Claire says

            December 9, 2020 at 11:34 am

            Sure. So after I wrote my comment, I had to fill in the Name and Email fields below the comment, and below the Name and Email fields are two fields with checkboxes. One says “Notify me of follow-up comments by email” and one says “Notify me of new posts by email”. I checked the boxes next to each of those fields, so now the follow-up comments as well as subsequent blogposts are emailed to me. I believe that right after I did this, I got an email prompting me to confirm my subscription (one email for posts and one for comments), which I did. Hope that helps!

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    January 15, 2022 at 12:08 am

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But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

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The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

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Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
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Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

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PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

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New episode! Big black trash bag energy is in ful New episode!

Big black trash bag energy is in full effect over here! In this episode Sarah is joined by contributor @cafedumartin for a conversation about how, why and what we are getting rid of this January. We talk strategic home resets, major junk-hauling, and tips for ongoing clutter maintenance. And while on the surface this episode is about physical stuff, we also acknowledge the emotional complexity that surrounds getting rid of stuff.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in t This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in the snow, well into our third year of dating, captures so much. 

But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

It also doesn't tell you about how much I (grudgingly) grew during that period of singleness. 

The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

that person is enough.
Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
🎒 20% off Valentine photo cards, & classroom Valentines
🎁 20% off photo & stationery gifts on orders $250+
💕 15% off ALL orders with code BEMINE23.
🗓️ Sale ends Monday 1/30!

The Mom Hour is part of Minted's affiliate program, which means if you shop our links we'll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

#kindergarten #firstgrade #valentinebox #leprechauntrap #shoeboxcraft #roomparent #roommom #classroomvalentines #parenting #momlife #parentingtip #tipsformoms
Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for presch Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for preschoolers? Even for kids who want to GO GO GO all day long, having a built-in pause in the day can help develop independent play skills, encourage rest, and - of course - give caregivers a chance to reset as well.

Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

Sandy (@hopefulsmiles) give tips for implementing a successful quiet time routine AND rounds up products and activities that help make independent play more likely - even in young preschoolers. Check it out by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#quiettime #parentingtoddlers #parentingpreschoolers #momoflittles #stayathomemom #stayathomeparent #activitiesforpreschoolers #activitiesfortoddlers #threeyearolds #fouryearolds #fiveyearolds #momlife #sahm #sahmlife
New episode! Does solitude come naturally to your New episode!

Does solitude come naturally to your kids, or are moments of solo play far and few between? Meagan and Sarah read some research recently that challenged us to think about the importance of alone time, and whether our kids get enough. In this episode, we dive into our own childhood memories, how our children embrace (or run from) solitude, and how challenging it is to find that just-right balance. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
New episode! With all the day-to-day planning requ New episode! With all the day-to-day planning required to run a household, it's easy to put longterm planning on the back burner. Today Meagan and Sarah share lessons we've learned (or are still learning) that help us look ahead at a whole year, quarter, or month at a time. From knowing ourselves and our seasonal rhythms to figuring out where they keep next year's school calendar, we've picked up a few things over the years, and we're ready to dive in for 2023. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal y Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal you heard on our podcast? You're in luck because here's our sponsor roundup for January. Once a month, we use this space to thank our partners and remind you of their special offers. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight or search the brand name on our website. And when you do check out our sponsors + use our links and codes, it helps support our show! We also collect ALL our active promo codes in our email newsletter - which is full of our latest episodes and blog posts, personal updates, community news, and more. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today.

Shoutout to our NEW sponsors:
🍳 @caraway_home (10% off gorgeous, non-toxic cookware!)
💪 @futurefitapp (risk-free trial of 1-on-1 personal training!)
🔪 @prepdish (2 weeks free of healthy, prep-ahead meal plans!)
🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (50% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute, comfy shoes!)
Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, high school registration. As we discussed in this week's episode, we still get all the feels when older kids meet cultural or developmental milestones - even if they cringe when we celebrate and share.

Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-d Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-digits, you find yourself staring a different milestone right in the (puffy) face:

It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

This photo was taken the morning of my scheduled c-section, just a few hours before we'd meet our third and last babe. It's hard to remember, but I'm SURE I was ready to be done. Constant braxton-hicks, heartburn I hadn't experienced with the other two, food aversions that lasted the whole 39w5d, and physical exhaustion trying to keep up with a 2- and 4-year old: all part of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy, but still nobody's idea of easy.

I don't miss it - being pregnant. Grateful to have had the experience, absolutely. But I've never really pined for another go-around, at least not seriously. Still, a whole decade removed feels as significant a milestone to me as does the notion that that double-dimpled babe will blow out ten candles this weekend.

Time, like, whoa. 

-Sarah

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