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in Blog on May 5, 2019 by Sarah Powers

In Case You Need To Hear It

This essay originally appeared in our monthly newsletter for The Mom Hour podcast. To get our emails, subscribe here. –Sarah

Mother’s Day is a week from today, and the Internet is here for it. Advertisers want you to buy gifts for every mom in your life; Pinterest has brunch recipes and kid craft ideas. Articles and memes celebrating moms will crowd your feed for the next several days, some of them funny, some poignant, many clichéd.

It’s my twelfth Mother’s Day as a mom, which sounds weird to my ears because I JUST celebrated eleven years of motherhood earlier this week. But the timing of my firstborn’s birth meant that I was barely off my c-section pain meds when Mother’s Day arrived just 12 days after she did. Our outing to brunch with my family was the farthest we’d ventured as parents and the first time we took our newborn anywhere in public.

(Look how tiny! She still has the chicken legs before the rolls kicked in!)

About that first Mother’s Day I mostly remember feeling uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in my clothes, having worn nothing but forgiving maternity yoga pants for weeks. Uncomfortable with the attention being paid to me (“LOOK EVERYONE! IT’S A BRAND NEW MOM ON HER FIRST MOTHER’S DAY!”). Uncomfortable with the emotions that were so foreign and close to the surface. Uncomfortable in public, with those clothes and those emotions and that baby.

(Also it can’t have been comfortable carrying around that diaper bag. I could pack my entire family for a weekend in that thing now.)

Discomfort and all, I survived that first Mother’s Day and the following year declared a do-over. I basked in it all–the brunch, the attention, the cards, the special feeling of belonging. When people said “Happy Mother’s Day”, I liked it. I had come into my own, survived one-year-and-eleven-days of parenting, and I felt like celebrating. I even wore a fancy hat.

One theme we return to again and again on the podcast (besides “It’s all gonna be OK”), it’s that well-meaning ideas can turn into unnecessary pressure on moms–especially when those well-meaning ideas are loaded with cultural expectations about what we’re supposed to look like, do, think, and feel. And that learning to see that pressure for what it is and accept what we actually look like, do, think, and feel in a given moment or a given season unlocks a kind of superpower in us, a force field that isn’t as easily penetrated by worry, guilt, and comparison.

Mother’s Day is loaded with these well-meaning cultural expectations and potential pressures, and no matter how sophisticated your force field, most of us are still susceptible to feeling like we’re supposed to react a certain way. And, as in all things, the Internet is happy to reinforce insecurities and perpetuate generalizations.

So if you’re going into this Mother’s Day feeling more like 2008-Sarah than 2009-Sarah, let this be your official permission slip to feel how you feel:

If you’re overwhelmed and would rather rest than celebrate, that’s okay.

If you’re grieving a loss and Mother’s Day hurts like hell, you don’t have to put on a smile for anybody.

If the greatest gift you can imagine is the gift of not organizing a brunch or getting together with extended family, we get it.

If the one thing you want most for Mother’s Day is a break from the people who call you mom, you’re not alone.

If you DO want presents and pampering this year, you have our permission to put on your fancy hat and own it. I certainly did back in 2009. But if you’d rather get caught up on emails and laundry next Sunday (because: MAY), that’s OK too. Our Mother’s Day wish for you is that with each passing year it gets a little easier to tune into that part of yourself that knows its own worth and knows what it wants.

Even if what it wants is to stay home.

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Filed Under: Blog

About Sarah Powers

Sarah Powers is co-host and Executive Producer of The Mom Hour podcast. She lives in Santa Barbara, CA with her husband and three kids, ages 9, 11, and 13.

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New episode! As busy moms and business owners we' New episode!

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
On the podcast this week (and next!) Meagan and Sa On the podcast this week (and next!) Meagan and Sarah share some of our favorite kitchen gadgets, cooking tools, food prep solutions, cleaning solutions, and countertop appliances. Because every home cook has a different set of needs and priorities, we opened up the question to our contributor team to find out what gear makes their lives easier in the kitchen. Tap the link in our bio to get gear tips from @stacybronec @jaymesherrod @emilyeroark @sarahelimberg and @joannerevising!

(Looking for Meagan’s and Sarah’s kitchen favorites, as mentioned on the podcast? Head to the show notes for Episode 431, which you can find in your podcast player or by tapping through Tuesday's Insta post.)
Kids are back in school and we're back in our kitc Kids are back in school and we're back in our kitchens with a bit more pep in our steps - so let's chat about gadets and gear! Join Meagan and Sarah today to hear about the Porch Microwave, the Mercedes-Benz of Coffee Grinders, how our partners' personalities lead us to unwanted kitchen appliances, and more. We share our current favorite kitchen tools for food prep and cooking - with more to come next week, too.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts (we had a delay but all is well now!) or tap this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Use code THEMOMHOUR to save 10% on @theessentialca Use code THEMOMHOUR to save 10% on @theessentialcalendar this fall!

I (Sarah) had the coziest evening with my Monday-start “Busiest Time Ever” calendar last night. If the next few months already feel like they’re filling up and you can’t quite picture it all, this is a great solution!

Tap the link in our bio to shop, or head to theessentialcalendar.com/themomhour. Happy planning!
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Are you a "Today's The Day!" type, or do you prefer to ease gently into a new adventure, challenge, or season? Whether you get excited to dive into a slew of new initiatives with the turning over of that shiny, crisp edge of a calendar page (like Sarah!), or really prefer to transition on your own internal timeline (like Meagan!), this episode is for you. Join us as we explore the many upsides to a soft start (in motherhood, business, health, and more) in an effort to take the pressure off moms this fall.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
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New episode! Meagan and Sarah had fun-filled trav New episode!

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Been thinking about trying one of our sponsors? He Been thinking about trying one of our sponsors? Here's your sign! 🌈 Once a month, we like to thank our partners and remind you of their great discounts. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight OR tap on this image at the link in our bio to check out the Deals & Offers page on our website.

We appreciate when you check out our partners who support our show and use our links + codes!

The Mom Hour is sponsored by . . . 

💚 @betterhelp (10% off your 1st month!)
💧 @liquidiv (20% off sugar-free hydration amplifier!)
💅 @oliveandjune (20% off your 1st system!)
🎨 @minted (art, cards, decor & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (the easiest photo books ever!)
🧘‍♀️ @fabletics (2 workout bottoms for $24!)
☑️ @todoistofficial (2 mo. free of Todoist Pro!)
🗓️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off calendars!)
🍃 @drinkag1 (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
👡 @vionicshoes (15% off your order!)
💊 @ritual (30% off your 1st month!)

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