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in Blog on August 5, 2020 by Meagan Francis

Shortening Your Gaze, For Now

This essay originally appeared in our monthly newsletter for The Mom Hour podcast. To get our emails, subscribe here. –Meagan

Recently, a friend challenged me to train for an obstacle course race. While one of my favorite mottos of adulthood has long been “I don’t run unless I’m being chased by a bear,” these pandemic months have been rather long on sameness and short on novelty, and a new challenge intrigued me. I mentioned the idea to Owen, who got excited and asked if he could do a race with me. And when your 14.5 year old son gets excited about doing an activity with you, Mom, you sign up and pay that registration fee before the mood passes.

Since 2020 is pretty much cancelled, Owen and I have quite a long time ahead of us to train. So I’ve been playing around with my runs, testing things like my breathing pattern, music choice, running cadence, and even how tightly I tie my shoes to see if there’s a difference in how I feel or perform.

So far, the variable that’s had the most surprising effect? How far ahead I set my gaze.

Look straight down, of course, and not only am I likely to run into a tree, but I also have no idea where I am, so there’s no sense of progress. But look too far ahead – way down the street to where I know the one-mile mark is, for example – and all I can do is fixate on how much further I have to go. I start wondering if I can make it. I start speeding up too much or forget to breathe slowly and steadily, and next thing I know I’m gasping for air and wanting to give up.

Part of what’s happening is that I’m still developing muscle memory around running. I’m just not an experienced-enough runner yet to know in my bones what a half-mile or a mile or two miles “feels” like. Look at a spot ten or fifteen or twenty feet ahead of me, however, and the game changes. I know I can make it another twenty feet; and I can sense innately how much time and energy it’ll take. The short-term goal feels doable, and eventually I reach the bigger goal by stringing a lot of small ones together.

It occurred to me earlier today, as I was huffing my way through my neighborhood, that never has it been more crucial to look just far enough ahead than it is right now. So much is up in the air: from school to work, from the economy to politics. If I try to make a plan for six months or a year into the future, I’ll fixate on that to the detriment of my day-to-day life – and, let’s face it, I’ll likely be disappointed when things change again; when the finish line keeps getting moved back. And since this is a new and ever-changing experience for every one of us, none of us have had the opportunity to build “muscle memory” around this strange new sense of time. (Let’s hope “pandemic time management” isn’t something we ever have the opportunity to become true experts in.)

Lucky for us, we moms are already well-versed in the practice of creating a fluid relationship with time. The last ten days of a pregnancy can seem like a year, but then the clock shrinks into thirty-minute increments: feed, switch sides, change diaper, nap, repeat. We learn to cram an incredible amount of productivity into the extra 15 minutes we score when a nap goes longer than usual and lower the bar to convince ourselves that 5 solid hours of shuteye counts as “sleeping through the night.”

In short, friends, we’ve got this. We moms know how to manage our expectations and help our kids manage theirs. We understand innately how to fit a lot into a little time, and we can also learn to stretch a little bit of certainty, energy, or joy to fill a longer period of time than we’d necessarily like. Yes, we wish the finish line was closer. We’d be content with just having some idea of where it is. But right now, the only way to get through this without hyperventilating is to pick a time frame that’s a little more manageable.

Right now, a week seems to be about the right time frame for me. This week, I have everything I need. This week, we have a fun outing planned. This week, we are healthy and safe. This week, I need to accomplish the five tasks on this list.

There have also been periods when that window has shrunk to a day, or even an hour. And that’s OK too. One day, I’m sure I’ll start thinking and planning in months and years again. But for right now, this week is just long enough. And until it’s in front of me, next week can take care of itself.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, defeated, can’t catch your breath and want to give up…maybe try shortening your gaze. A month instead of six. A week instead of a month. An hour instead of a day. No matter what, keep putting one foot in front of the other and those hours, days, and weeks will eventually get us all to where we need to be.

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
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Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-d Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-digits, you find yourself staring a different milestone right in the (puffy) face:

It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

This photo was taken the morning of my scheduled c-section, just a few hours before we'd meet our third and last babe. It's hard to remember, but I'm SURE I was ready to be done. Constant braxton-hicks, heartburn I hadn't experienced with the other two, food aversions that lasted the whole 39w5d, and physical exhaustion trying to keep up with a 2- and 4-year old: all part of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy, but still nobody's idea of easy.

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...what it means to be “ready for kindergarten” 
...visiting a school for a tour or open house 
...learning to read 
...kids and friendships; playground politics
...making school decisions for a special needs student 
...becoming part of a classroom or school community 
 
Click this image at the link in our bio to get the guide. Bookmark it, send it to your co-parent or mom friends, and use it as a starting place as you wade through this tricky time of year! 

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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You can listen from our website by clicking this image at the link in our bio – but EVEN BETTER, you can find the episodes in your favorite podcast app - just search by episode title, or keep on scrolling until you find them!
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Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

#kindergarten #firstgrade #valentinebox #leprechauntrap #shoeboxcraft #roomparent #roommom #classroomvalentines #parenting #momlife #parentingtip #tipsformoms
Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for presch Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for preschoolers? Even for kids who want to GO GO GO all day long, having a built-in pause in the day can help develop independent play skills, encourage rest, and - of course - give caregivers a chance to reset as well.

Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

Sandy (@hopefulsmiles) give tips for implementing a successful quiet time routine AND rounds up products and activities that help make independent play more likely - even in young preschoolers. Check it out by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#quiettime #parentingtoddlers #parentingpreschoolers #momoflittles #stayathomemom #stayathomeparent #activitiesforpreschoolers #activitiesfortoddlers #threeyearolds #fouryearolds #fiveyearolds #momlife #sahm #sahmlife
New episode! Does solitude come naturally to your New episode!

Does solitude come naturally to your kids, or are moments of solo play far and few between? Meagan and Sarah read some research recently that challenged us to think about the importance of alone time, and whether our kids get enough. In this episode, we dive into our own childhood memories, how our children embrace (or run from) solitude, and how challenging it is to find that just-right balance. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
New episode! With all the day-to-day planning requ New episode! With all the day-to-day planning required to run a household, it's easy to put longterm planning on the back burner. Today Meagan and Sarah share lessons we've learned (or are still learning) that help us look ahead at a whole year, quarter, or month at a time. From knowing ourselves and our seasonal rhythms to figuring out where they keep next year's school calendar, we've picked up a few things over the years, and we're ready to dive in for 2023. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal y Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal you heard on our podcast? You're in luck because here's our sponsor roundup for January. Once a month, we use this space to thank our partners and remind you of their special offers. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight or search the brand name on our website. And when you do check out our sponsors + use our links and codes, it helps support our show! We also collect ALL our active promo codes in our email newsletter - which is full of our latest episodes and blog posts, personal updates, community news, and more. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today.

Shoutout to our NEW sponsors:
🍳 @caraway_home (10% off gorgeous, non-toxic cookware!)
💪 @futurefitapp (risk-free trial of 1-on-1 personal training!)
🔪 @prepdish (2 weeks free of healthy, prep-ahead meal plans!)
🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (50% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute, comfy shoes!)
Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, high school registration. As we discussed in this week's episode, we still get all the feels when older kids meet cultural or developmental milestones - even if they cringe when we celebrate and share.

Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-d Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-digits, you find yourself staring a different milestone right in the (puffy) face:

It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

This photo was taken the morning of my scheduled c-section, just a few hours before we'd meet our third and last babe. It's hard to remember, but I'm SURE I was ready to be done. Constant braxton-hicks, heartburn I hadn't experienced with the other two, food aversions that lasted the whole 39w5d, and physical exhaustion trying to keep up with a 2- and 4-year old: all part of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy, but still nobody's idea of easy.

I don't miss it - being pregnant. Grateful to have had the experience, absolutely. But I've never really pined for another go-around, at least not seriously. Still, a whole decade removed feels as significant a milestone to me as does the notion that that double-dimpled babe will blow out ten candles this weekend.

Time, like, whoa. 

-Sarah
If you're looking at school options for Fall 2023, If you're looking at school options for Fall 2023, you might be feeling overwhelmed by school tours, open houses, registration deadlines, or the all-too-common "red shirting question". That's why today we're revisiting an enormously detailed resource on our site: 

➡️ What Teachers & Educators Wish Parents Knew About Making School Decisions ⬅️

This piece is a collaboration between four educators on our team whose careers span preschool through middle school. They weigh in what what they wish parents knew about things like...

...choosing “the right school” 
...what it means to be “ready for kindergarten” 
...visiting a school for a tour or open house 
...learning to read 
...kids and friendships; playground politics
...making school decisions for a special needs student 
...becoming part of a classroom or school community 
 
Click this image at the link in our bio to get the guide. Bookmark it, send it to your co-parent or mom friends, and use it as a starting place as you wade through this tricky time of year! 

@lisaapayne4 @ashleydawn519 @thepaperdart @cafedumartin
C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e good times, come on! Today’s e C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e good times, come on! Today’s episode is number 400! We can’t think of a better way to celebrate hitting a big podcast milestone than talking about how we honor birthdays and milestone celebrations in our families – especially as kids get older. Join Meagan and Sarah as we offer insight into making birthdays special for big kids, tweens and teens; how kids getting older hits us differently as moms, too; and how honoring big kid milestones gets tricker, but still gives us all the feels. 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Y'all's reaction to our entire catalog now being a Y'all's reaction to our entire catalog now being available has been so fun! Listeners have told us that they're now able to re-listen to old favorites, or - amazing for us - share them directly with friends.

(If you missed it, previously, podcast apps showed only our most recent 300 episodes – less than half our catalog. The rest were only available on our website.)

Just for fun, we rounded up a few more of our team's favorite episodes from the early days of the podcast. Here are five MORE oldies that have stood the test of time, and that make for great entry-points to our early catalog.

You can listen from our website by clicking this image at the link in our bio – but EVEN BETTER, you can find the episodes in your favorite podcast app - just search by episode title, or keep on scrolling until you find them!

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