• Home
  • About
    • New? Start Here.
    • Meet The Co-Hosts
    • Meet The Contributors
  • Sponsor
  • Contact
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Twitter

The Mom Hour

Happier motherhood starts here.

  • New? Start Here.
  • Podcast
    • Recent Episodes
    • Complete Archives
    • Search By Topic
  • Blog
  • Ages & Stages
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • Preschoolers
    • Big Kids
    • Tweens & Teens
  • Family Travel Hub

in Blog on June 13, 2019 by Meagan Francis

Stressy Wednesdays & The Stories We Stick With

This essay originally appeared in our monthly newsletter for The Mom Hour podcast. To get our emails, subscribe here. –Meagan

Since my ex-husband and I separated over two and a half years ago, we’ve kept roughly the same parenting time schedule. I have the kids part of the weekend and the first half of the week, and Wednesday afternoon, we switch. While I often still get to see the kids on the days that aren’t “mine”, it’s not guaranteed – particularly during the summer, when they’re more likely to be on vacation or just hanging out at his house than bopping around my neighborhood.

For a long time, I filled my “no kids” nights with activities. I thought that being out and about would distract me and keep me from being lonely. But over time, I started to scale back on social engagements, often preferring an extra hour or two of work or an early bedtime to drinks with a friend. Slowly, I learned to accept, and then embrace, a quiet night in, viewing the quiet and solitude as relaxing and productive, rather than lonely and boring.

Except on Wednesdays. Since Wednesdays officially mark the start of my half-week sans kids, in the beginning I made absolutely sure to have plans that evening to help me transition into my alone time. Even after many months went by and the idea of spending an evening alone felt more welcome than scary, I realized that I was still clinging to some kind of fear of being alone on a Wednesday – the anxiety had somehow instilled itself into my muscle memory, causing me to reflexively make plans (or feel stressed when I didn’t have them) even on nights when I really just wanted some peace and quiet.

About two years into the split, tired of spending more money than I wanted to just to avoid the Wednesday blues, I started asking myself, “What is it I really want to do tonight?” when I felt that anxiety creeping in. I was often surprised by the answer. Sometimes I’d realize I really wanted to get ahead on work. Sometimes I’d really want to go sit alone somewhere and enjoy a glass of wine and a salad without talking to anyone. Sometimes I’d want to go to yoga or take a nice long walk. And yes, sometimes I’d really want to meet a friend and have a boisterous chat. But these days, I’m just as likely to choose the quieter option, and for the most part that reflexive Wednesday anxiety has passed.

I thought about my “Stressy Wednesdays” when Sarah and I were recording our recent episode about adventure. From trying out a ropes course to jumping in a kayak, many of the activities we discussed in that episode would have seemed impossible to pull off – or just not worth the effort – when I had babies and toddlers at home. And yet, when I really look back, I know I could have started trying some of these things out years ago. It just took a while for me to realize that I had internalized a message that certain things would be too hard, too time-consuming, too complicated forever. It took a little while for me to catch up with reality, and realize that that the story I was telling myself had once been true, but had become outdated.

This summer, I invite us all to question those often limiting assumptions and stories we tell ourselves.

Maybe last year, the beach was miserable because you had a 20-month old who liked to bolt for the shore. An almost-three-year-old is often a very different animal. Who knows?

Maybe last year your four-year-old decided to drop his afternoon nap the minute preschool let out for break, and the idea of facing down long afternoons with a cranky, whining kid has your stress-muscle-memory flaring up like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart. Give it a chance; you may find that the transition this year is so much easier that you can actually brave an occasional trip to the park or Target.

Maybe last year you tried to take your kids out for a hike and they all wound up muddy, miserable, and covered in mosquito bites. If you still hope to make those nature walks a part of you and your kids’ lives, choose a drier day and a shorter path, re-adjust your expectations, and try again.

Sometimes hard stages linger longer than seems fair. But sometimes, in the long run, they’re just a flash in the pan. You won’t really know until you give yourself a chance to try something new, see if it works, and adjust based on a new reality.

And if this new reality still doesn’t involve trips to the beach, calm afternoons, or family hikes, that’s OK. There’s always next year.

Related

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: divorce, summer

deals from our partners


Shop Jane

When you click through these links and make a purchase, we earn a small commission at no additional cost to you (and we only partner with brands we’ve used and truly love!).

« Parenting Siblings (Host Swap With Edit Your Life’s Asha Dornfest): Episode 212
Public Mom-Shaming & The Ones Who Suffer »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Search

Like Email?

Get episodes delivered to your inbox weekly, PLUS special occasional emails from us that you don’t want to miss.

[mc4wp_form id=”20453″]

Featured Sponsors

On Instagram

themomhour

Top 10 parenting podcast hosted by @meaganfrancis (MI) & @powersofmine (SoCal). 8 kids between us, little to grown. Happier motherhood starts here.

The Mom Hour
One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refresh One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refreshed for 2022! Click this image at the link in our bio to read the just-structured-enough approach Sarah took during those long AZ summers at home when her kids were 6, 4, and 1.5. 😎 

#stayathomemom #preschoolers #summermomlife #arizonasummer #summerschedulefortoddlers #summerscheduledforpreschoolers #samplesummerschedule #summerdaysathom
New episode! Most of us enjoy having a clean and New episode!

Most of us enjoy having a clean and tidy home, but have you ever kept track of how much you do throughout the week to keep it that way? In today’s episode, Meagan and Sarah share what seven days of real-life housework looks like in our homes. We reflect on the tasks we knew went into running a home, and some surprising ones we never thought of as housework before (like picking plums and chasing chickens!). Whether you prioritize deep-cleaning on a regular schedule or tend to tidy as you go and hope for the best, it’s eye-opening and gratifying to acknowledge the work that goes into managing a home full of kids.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #endlesscleaning #housework #cleaning #tidyingup #
Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes per day while away at school 7 hours per day, how many additional dishes will they dirty while home all day for summer break?

67. The answer is 67. Yes, I’ve checked my work! Maybe someone who passed calculus can explain? 🤪 -M

#mommath #drowningindishes #summerbreakisnotreallyabreak
Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June spons Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June sponsors! Every month, we like to take a little time to shoutout our partners who help support the show + remind our listeners of some of the great deals our sponsors are offering. For more info, specific promo codes, and links, just search the brand name on our website, and they'll pop up in our episode show notes. We also collect ALL our active promo codes (even the old ones that are still working!) in our email newsletter - which is full of other great things we want to share with you, too. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today. 

Meet our NEW partners this month . . .
🗣️ @connectspeech (early language support!)
💙 @appahealth (1st month of mentorship free!)
💄 @thrivecausemetics (15% off your 1st order)

And welcome back to . . .
⭐️ @paireyewear (15% off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @autoapprove ($100 when you refinance!)
⭐️ @outschool ($15 off your child's 1st class!)
⭐️ @mindandchild ($20 off Parenting 101 course!)
⭐️ @flowkey_com (20% off subscription piano app!)
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @publicgoods ($15 off, no minimum!)
⭐️ @scholasticinc (books for kids of all ages!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (30% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @ritual (10% off 1st 3 mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute shoes!)
⭐️ @project_wren (10 trees planted when you sign up!)
New episode! If you travel with kids, it’s just New episode!

If you travel with kids, it’s just a matter of time before a trip goes off the rails in spectacular fashion. Maybe it’s a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, or an expensive vacation spent sick in a pricey hotel room. Today Sarah is joined by @catieparrish @stacybronec @emilyeroark and @lisaapayne4 – regular contributors to the show and seasoned travelers with a combined 13 kids – who share their most memorable travel mishap stories. (Full disclaimer: there will be puke-talk.) In sharing these stories, we hope to normalize that travel with kids doesn’t have to go perfectly to be “worth it” and remind you that you’re not alone if this summer’s adventures go awry. Plus, one of the only perks to surviving stories like these is that we get to laugh about them later.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #travelingwoes #travelingwithkids #familytravelmishaps
New on the blog this week from @kiamhammond: Learn New on the blog this week from @kiamhammond: Learning About Juneteenth, As A Family.

"Like many families, mine is still figuring out how to teach our children about Juneteenth, as learning the history wasn't part of my education or my husband's when we were kids. The good news is, books written for children and families are a great way for the whole family to learn (and there are a lot of them!)."

Click this image at the link in our bio to read Kia’s book recommendations and more ways to start the conversation at home with your family.

#juneteenth #history #blackhistory #parenting #juneteenthbooksforkids #summerreading
New episode! As moms, we can be hard on ourselves New episode!

As moms, we can be hard on ourselves…and sometimes we just need to hear the simplest, oft-repeated pieces of advice and encouragement to remind us that it is all going to be OK. Join Meagan and Sarah for a reflection on eight pieces of wisdom that have carried us through motherhood struggles at every age and stage. We are offering them to you, to ourselves, and to all of our future selves in Episode 369.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #momtruisms #momtruths #parentingadvice #motherhoodstruggles
Just a “hello” from last-week-me, who spent 30 Just a “hello” from last-week-me, who spent 30 minutes moving 25 chickens by hand from their home to the new chicken yard, because they refused to go on their own. And then an hour moving them back, because same.

It reminded me a lot of mothering a toddler, and got me wondering: what’s the most ridiculous thing mom life has brought you in the past week? -M
New episode! Have you ever fantasized about atten New episode!

Have you ever fantasized about attending a camp-like environment for grown-ups? Much about the classic summer camp experience is appealing to us (though not EVERYTHING--we could certainly do without the bugs), and the idea of simply showing up for a perfectly curated experience without any responsibility, or planning, sounds AMAZING. Listen to this fun More Than Mom to hear all of our must-have activities (like food and wine tastings, yoga, personal style consults and more!), things that would be a hard no (like swimming in the gross, murky lake or participating in corny, guided crafts) and our daydreams about creating a Mom Hour Retreat (maybe someday?)!

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #summercamps #womenretreats #momretreat
New on the blog this week from @jaymesherrod: LGBT New on the blog this week from @jaymesherrod: LGBTQ+ Resources For Parents (And Anyone Who Wants To Learn!). 

"The fact is, none of us will get it right every time. Not with each other, and certainly not with our kids. But it’s important that we keep showing up and having the conversations anyway."

Click this image at the link in our bio to access Jayme's roundup of resources.
Not gonna lie, we're wearing kid-appointment-drivi Not gonna lie, we're wearing kid-appointment-driving and backyard-chicken-wrangling clothes today and just sorta WISHING for a little business-casual-boss-lady time together.

You're doing great, whatever you're wearing today. Sending love. - Sarah & Meagan

📸: @leo_and_laine
New episode! Among parents, technology and screen New episode!

Among parents, technology and screen time can be a loaded topic. How much is too much? Is that movie too mature? And what's the best age for a first phone? In today’s episode, Meagan and Sarah share the role technology played in our families when kids were little, and reflect on how things changed as they grew. We discuss the tech parenting choices we still stand behind today, and with hindsight, what we could have done differently.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #kidsandtechnology #screentime #techparenting ##technology #momconfidence #
Load More... Follow on Instagram

As Seen On

Today Parents

Send us an email

Can’t find what you’re looking for? Email hello@themomhour.com and we’re here to help!

Play Our Latest Episode!

https://media.blubrry.com/themomhour/pdst.fm/e/content.blubrry.com/themomhour/MHepisode370.mp3

looking for something?

One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refresh One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refreshed for 2022! Click this image at the link in our bio to read the just-structured-enough approach Sarah took during those long AZ summers at home when her kids were 6, 4, and 1.5. 😎 

#stayathomemom #preschoolers #summermomlife #arizonasummer #summerschedulefortoddlers #summerscheduledforpreschoolers #samplesummerschedule #summerdaysathom
New episode! Most of us enjoy having a clean and New episode!

Most of us enjoy having a clean and tidy home, but have you ever kept track of how much you do throughout the week to keep it that way? In today’s episode, Meagan and Sarah share what seven days of real-life housework looks like in our homes. We reflect on the tasks we knew went into running a home, and some surprising ones we never thought of as housework before (like picking plums and chasing chickens!). Whether you prioritize deep-cleaning on a regular schedule or tend to tidy as you go and hope for the best, it’s eye-opening and gratifying to acknowledge the work that goes into managing a home full of kids.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #endlesscleaning #housework #cleaning #tidyingup #
Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes Math Quiz: If 3 kids dirty an average of 15 dishes per day while away at school 7 hours per day, how many additional dishes will they dirty while home all day for summer break?

67. The answer is 67. Yes, I’ve checked my work! Maybe someone who passed calculus can explain? 🤪 -M

#mommath #drowningindishes #summerbreakisnotreallyabreak
Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June spons Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June sponsors! Every month, we like to take a little time to shoutout our partners who help support the show + remind our listeners of some of the great deals our sponsors are offering. For more info, specific promo codes, and links, just search the brand name on our website, and they'll pop up in our episode show notes. We also collect ALL our active promo codes (even the old ones that are still working!) in our email newsletter - which is full of other great things we want to share with you, too. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today. 

Meet our NEW partners this month . . .
🗣️ @connectspeech (early language support!)
💙 @appahealth (1st month of mentorship free!)
💄 @thrivecausemetics (15% off your 1st order)

And welcome back to . . .
⭐️ @paireyewear (15% off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @autoapprove ($100 when you refinance!)
⭐️ @outschool ($15 off your child's 1st class!)
⭐️ @mindandchild ($20 off Parenting 101 course!)
⭐️ @flowkey_com (20% off subscription piano app!)
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @publicgoods ($15 off, no minimum!)
⭐️ @scholasticinc (books for kids of all ages!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (30% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @ritual (10% off 1st 3 mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute shoes!)
⭐️ @project_wren (10 trees planted when you sign up!)
New episode! If you travel with kids, it’s just New episode!

If you travel with kids, it’s just a matter of time before a trip goes off the rails in spectacular fashion. Maybe it’s a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, or an expensive vacation spent sick in a pricey hotel room. Today Sarah is joined by @catieparrish @stacybronec @emilyeroark and @lisaapayne4 – regular contributors to the show and seasoned travelers with a combined 13 kids – who share their most memorable travel mishap stories. (Full disclaimer: there will be puke-talk.) In sharing these stories, we hope to normalize that travel with kids doesn’t have to go perfectly to be “worth it” and remind you that you’re not alone if this summer’s adventures go awry. Plus, one of the only perks to surviving stories like these is that we get to laugh about them later.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #travelingwoes #travelingwithkids #familytravelmishaps
New on the blog this week from @kiamhammond: Learn New on the blog this week from @kiamhammond: Learning About Juneteenth, As A Family.

"Like many families, mine is still figuring out how to teach our children about Juneteenth, as learning the history wasn't part of my education or my husband's when we were kids. The good news is, books written for children and families are a great way for the whole family to learn (and there are a lot of them!)."

Click this image at the link in our bio to read Kia’s book recommendations and more ways to start the conversation at home with your family.

#juneteenth #history #blackhistory #parenting #juneteenthbooksforkids #summerreading
New episode! As moms, we can be hard on ourselves New episode!

As moms, we can be hard on ourselves…and sometimes we just need to hear the simplest, oft-repeated pieces of advice and encouragement to remind us that it is all going to be OK. Join Meagan and Sarah for a reflection on eight pieces of wisdom that have carried us through motherhood struggles at every age and stage. We are offering them to you, to ourselves, and to all of our future selves in Episode 369.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #momtruisms #momtruths #parentingadvice #motherhoodstruggles
Just a “hello” from last-week-me, who spent 30 Just a “hello” from last-week-me, who spent 30 minutes moving 25 chickens by hand from their home to the new chicken yard, because they refused to go on their own. And then an hour moving them back, because same.

It reminded me a lot of mothering a toddler, and got me wondering: what’s the most ridiculous thing mom life has brought you in the past week? -M
New episode! Have you ever fantasized about atten New episode!

Have you ever fantasized about attending a camp-like environment for grown-ups? Much about the classic summer camp experience is appealing to us (though not EVERYTHING--we could certainly do without the bugs), and the idea of simply showing up for a perfectly curated experience without any responsibility, or planning, sounds AMAZING. Listen to this fun More Than Mom to hear all of our must-have activities (like food and wine tastings, yoga, personal style consults and more!), things that would be a hard no (like swimming in the gross, murky lake or participating in corny, guided crafts) and our daydreams about creating a Mom Hour Retreat (maybe someday?)!

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #summercamps #womenretreats #momretreat
New on the blog this week from @jaymesherrod: LGBT New on the blog this week from @jaymesherrod: LGBTQ+ Resources For Parents (And Anyone Who Wants To Learn!). 

"The fact is, none of us will get it right every time. Not with each other, and certainly not with our kids. But it’s important that we keep showing up and having the conversations anyway."

Click this image at the link in our bio to access Jayme's roundup of resources.

Copyright © 2022 · Life, Listened
Development by Cipher