• Home
  • About
    • New? Start Here.
    • Meet The Co-Hosts
    • Meet The Contributors
    • In The Media
  • Advertise
  • Contact
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Twitter

The Mom Hour

Happier motherhood starts here.

  • New? Start Here.
  • Podcast
    • Recent Episodes
    • Complete Archives
    • Search By Topic
  • Blog
  • Ages & Stages
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • Preschoolers
    • Big Kids
    • Tweens & Teens
  • Shop
  • Our Partners

in Blog on April 24, 2023 by Stacy Bronec

When Your Motherhood Looks Different From Everyone Else’s

I still remember the first time I visited the farm I now call home. I rode in the passenger seat and watched the miles of highway give way to gravel roads. We kept driving and driving and driving. It was pitch black out, and the city lights grew smaller and smaller behind us until they were gone. I knew my boyfriend lived out of town—but I had no idea how far. We kept going, and the signal bars on my phone kept dropping, one by one, until finally—there was no service.

Months later, we were engaged, and I memorized this route on drives to visit him on his family’s farm from the city where I worked, hours away. I had a romantic view of what life would be like way out in the country: sunset rides in the combine during harvest and unobstructed sunrises over the vast prairie. But in those days I would drive those same roads back into town—to my apartment with neighbors, a coffee shop, and a grocery store just down the block. 

***

In the months leading up to my first baby’s birth—now living on the farm—I read the baby books and waddled up and down the aisles of Target, filling my cart with all the “must-haves” that my sister and friends told me the baby would need. I prepped for the days after the baby was born with pads, freezer meals, and comfy clothes.

At my baby shower, the women wrote notes to “sleep when the baby sleeps” and “to snuggle the baby, as it goes so fast.” 

I nodded and smiled, placing my hand on my round belly, all the ladies oohing and ahhing over the onesies and soft blankets. I held up the tiny sleepers, still in disbelief that soon I would be holding my baby and that he or she would be small enough to fit in this unbelievably small outfit. 

But no one mentioned the loneliness or isolation I would feel in the early days and years of motherhood. And I had no idea how isolating rural life would be on top of the loneliness that so many other moms experience.

***

Shortly after becoming a mom, I discovered podcasts and dove head-first into “mom media.” I joined Facebook groups for moms and started following many parenting websites. Soon, I was enjoying those long drives to town with all my new “friends” in my ears. I heard stories from seasoned and new moms, commiserating and nodding along to our shared experiences. 

In a way, I felt a little less lonely. The voices became familiar; they were the friends I could sit down with any time of day—no matter that I was miles away from another person. But sometimes, the advice I heard was a stark reminder of how different my motherhood experience was. 

“Grab take-out on Friday night!” 

“Have your husband pick up a pizza on his way home from work!”

“Swap babysitting with a friend once a week!”

“Meet a friend for coffee before your baby naps!”

I couldn’t drive down the street to meet a friend for coffee with our strollers in tow—our nearest neighbors are my inlaws and they live a 10 minute drive away on a gravel road. Going to the park to get out of the house for a few minutes was a half-day adventure that screwed up nap schedules, and sometimes it just felt like more work than it was worth. There wasn’t anyone I could swap babysitting with. And my husband works on our farm, an hour from take-out food and pizza delivery. 

I couldn’t relate to any of these suggestions. All of a sudden, I felt even lonelier.

Did all the other moms have it easier than me? 

*** 

Recently, on a drive home from town, I hit play on a podcast. I was alone in the car, and the sun shone brightly against the fresh snow. I couldn’t help but notice how the glistening snow looked like millions of diamonds covering the fields. I cranked up the seat warmers, enjoying this rare moment of quiet on a beautiful day.

The mom on the podcast talked about her daughter with disabilities, her voice cracking remembering the years they spent trying to find a diagnosis—their daughter unable to walk or talk. She talked about the weekly therapy appointments, how their lives have changed, and the grief she walks through each day with a life they didn’t dream of.

I pressed pause and let her words soak in. Now that I’m not in the trenches of new motherhood, I could see more clearly: I had felt alone in my rural living situation, but so many moms parent through situations that leave them feeling like mainstream parenting advice doesn’t “fit” their family. 

The single mom who has little support and is parenting alone. 

The mom whose spouse is stationed overseas, leaving her worried and alone. 

My mom, who became a motherless mother at 23, who spent every Mother’s Day, holiday, and every day in-between without her mother—while she learned to mother. 

The moms who have children with disabilities and their kids aren’t hitting milestones like their peers. 

Big families. Adoptive parents. Parents of one child. 

I imagine those moms often can’t relate to motherhood on social media, either. I imagine they feel lonely when it seems like everyone else is wading through the same waters and their situation places them outside the mainstream. 

For the longest time, I clung to the hope that motherhood was a simple equation. If I just had XYZ—consistent childcare, take-out, and a coffee shop down the street—then poof! Motherhood could be a snap! 

But in reality, motherhood is so much harder than that, and it’s hard for all of us—no matter the circumstance. Sure it would be nice to open my front door to find a hot cup of coffee left by a friend with a doughnut and a note of encouragement. Or to have the ability to drop my kids off at daycare, so I could have a few hours to work or to be alone. But, I think of all the beautiful things I do have: my kids growing up on our farm and getting to work alongside their parents, the acres and acres they have to roam, and yes, the sunrises and sunsets—which continue to amaze me. 

Although I’ll never fully be able to understand all the situations other mothers experience, it’s comforting to know there’s not one “normal” way to go through motherhood. It’s also easy to forget what I see online and hear in podcasts isn’t the whole picture. Every mother struggles—everyone’s hard looks different.

And when I focus only on what’s different in my motherhood experience—I miss out on what’s beautiful around me.

Related

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: hard stuff, new mom

About Stacy Bronec

Stacy Bronec lives in rural Montana with her husband and their three kids on their family farm and ranch. Years ago, she dreamt of big city life, but then she fell in love with a farmer and moved to the middle of nowhere. Now, she uses stories to make sense of the beauty and challenges of rural life. Her essays have appeared in Coffee + Crumbs, Motherly, and Grown & Flown, among others. You can connect with Stacy on her website or Substack, where she writes a monthly newsletter and an interview series: Rural Women Cultivating a Life They Love.

deals from our partners



When you click through these links and make a purchase, we earn a small commission at no additional cost to you (and we only partner with brands we’ve used and truly love!).

« House Rules For Tidying Up: Episode 413
Teen Parents, Parenting Teens (Young Motherhood, Raising Teen Girls & More!): Episode 414 »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Listen + Subscribe

Subscribe in Apple Podcasts
Subscribe on Spotify
Subscribe in Google Podcasts
Subscribe on YouTube
Subscribe on Amazon Music

Featured Sponsor

Save 10% with code THEMOMHOUR at TheEssentialCalendar.com!

Search

Recent Blog Posts

6 Kitchen Gadgets Our Team Loves

September 18, 2023 By The Mom Hour

6 Ways To Support School Learning At Home (No Flash Cards Required!)

August 28, 2023 By The Mom Hour

4 Ways To Support Your Child’s Educator This School Year

August 21, 2023 By Lisa Payne

What To Expect When Your Child Starts Kindergarten

August 14, 2023 By Joanna Martin

Is Your Preschooler Ready For The First Day? At-Home Routines To Practice Before School Starts

August 7, 2023 By Kia Hammond

more from the blog...

On Instagram

themomhour

Top 10 parenting podcast hosted by @meaganfrancis (MI) & @powersofmine (SoCal). 8 kids between us, little to grown. Happier motherhood starts here.

The Mom Hour
On the podcast this week (and next!) Meagan and Sa On the podcast this week (and next!) Meagan and Sarah share some of our favorite kitchen gadgets, cooking tools, food prep solutions, cleaning solutions, and countertop appliances. Because every home cook has a different set of needs and priorities, we opened up the question to our contributor team to find out what gear makes their lives easier in the kitchen. Tap the link in our bio to get gear tips from @stacybronec @jaymesherrod @emilyeroark @sarahelimberg and @joannerevising!

(Looking for Meagan’s and Sarah’s kitchen favorites, as mentioned on the podcast? Head to the show notes for Episode 431, which you can find in your podcast player or by tapping through Tuesday's Insta post.)
Kids are back in school and we're back in our kitc Kids are back in school and we're back in our kitchens with a bit more pep in our steps - so let's chat about gadets and gear! Join Meagan and Sarah today to hear about the Porch Microwave, the Mercedes-Benz of Coffee Grinders, how our partners' personalities lead us to unwanted kitchen appliances, and more. We share our current favorite kitchen tools for food prep and cooking - with more to come next week, too.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts (we had a delay but all is well now!) or tap this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Big transitions in family structure are never easy Big transitions in family structure are never easy. When it comes to blending families, introducing a new romantic partner as a single parent, or stepping into step-parenting, there's so much to think about. Today Meagan gets candid about her current blended family situation, following her wedding this summer and the integration of their families into a shared home. Sarah has lots of questions as Meagan shares what's going well, a few tension points, what she would do differently, and how it's going overall.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Use code THEMOMHOUR to save 10% on @theessentialca Use code THEMOMHOUR to save 10% on @theessentialcalendar this fall!

I (Sarah) had the coziest evening with my Monday-start “Busiest Time Ever” calendar last night. If the next few months already feel like they’re filling up and you can’t quite picture it all, this is a great solution!

Tap the link in our bio to shop, or head to theessentialcalendar.com/themomhour. Happy planning!
New episode! Are you a "Today's The Day!" type, o New episode!

Are you a "Today's The Day!" type, or do you prefer to ease gently into a new adventure, challenge, or season? Whether you get excited to dive into a slew of new initiatives with the turning over of that shiny, crisp edge of a calendar page (like Sarah!), or really prefer to transition on your own internal timeline (like Meagan!), this episode is for you. Join us as we explore the many upsides to a soft start (in motherhood, business, health, and more) in an effort to take the pressure off moms this fall.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy September! What are you looking forward to t Happy September! What are you looking forward to this month? Drop a comment and let us know! 👇
Raise your hand if you practiced some sight words Raise your hand if you practiced some sight words this week - or proctored a spelling pre-test - or ran through some multiplication tables? Sometimes supporting your kids' classroom learning at home looks like facts and flash cards, but we're here to remind you that there are LOTS of ways to nurture curiosity and promote learning, and many of them can fit seamlessly into family life.

This week on the blog we're revisiting a post Meagan and Sarah co-authored back in 2018 - when our kids spanned preschool to high schoool! - with six ideas for supporting school learning at home. Tap the link in our bio to read the post!
New episode! Meagan and Sarah had fun-filled trav New episode!

Meagan and Sarah had fun-filled travel in August before saying goodbye to summer. The Powers family traveled to the East Coast for a week of multigenerational state-hopping served with a side of bug bites and butt bruises! And Meagan officially opened a bookstore in Manistique, MI, right after surviving a 20-mile hike with her siblings and their spouses. Now we're back, shifting from summer-mom to school-year-mom, and sharing our "laundry basket of hopes and aspirations for Fall 2023" with all of you.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Been thinking about trying one of our sponsors? He Been thinking about trying one of our sponsors? Here's your sign! 🌈 Once a month, we like to thank our partners and remind you of their great discounts. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight OR tap on this image at the link in our bio to check out the Deals & Offers page on our website.

We appreciate when you check out our partners who support our show and use our links + codes!

The Mom Hour is sponsored by . . . 

💚 @betterhelp (10% off your 1st month!)
💧 @liquidiv (20% off sugar-free hydration amplifier!)
💅 @oliveandjune (20% off your 1st system!)
🎨 @minted (art, cards, decor & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (the easiest photo books ever!)
🧘‍♀️ @fabletics (2 workout bottoms for $24!)
☑️ @todoistofficial (2 mo. free of Todoist Pro!)
🗓️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off calendars!)
🍃 @drinkag1 (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
👡 @vionicshoes (15% off your order!)
💊 @ritual (30% off your 1st month!)
This week on the blog we're revisiting @lisaapayne This week on the blog we're revisiting @lisaapayne4's tips for supporting your child's teacher and classroom this school year. Lisa is a career educator whose work takes her into multiple schools and classrooms, so she sees a lot! She's also a single mom to four kids who span elementary, middle, and high school this year.

Read the post at the link in our bio - and feel free to add more suggestions in the comments below!

Photo Credit: LinkedIn Sales Solutions via Unsplash
New episode! Sarah stopped dyeing her hair and gr New episode!

Sarah stopped dyeing her hair and growing out her natural grays last fall - almost a year ago - and Meagan is contemplating a new style! Today Meagan asks Sarah ALL the gray grow-out questions to catch up on the progress, and talks about why she might be ready for a new look herself. We also share some hair wins and hair woes from this season of life, and how it's different from early motherhood. Join us!

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio to visit the show notes, where you'll find photos of the hairstyles we discussed!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Revisiting this super helpful post from @cafedumar Revisiting this super helpful post from @cafedumartin on the blog this week (link in bio).

What would you add to Joanna's list of things to expect when your child starts kindergarten? What advice would you give to a first-time kinder mom?
Load More... Follow on Instagram

as seen on

Send us an email

Can’t find what you’re looking for? Email hello@themomhour.com and we’re here to help!

listen on

looking for something?

On the podcast this week (and next!) Meagan and Sa On the podcast this week (and next!) Meagan and Sarah share some of our favorite kitchen gadgets, cooking tools, food prep solutions, cleaning solutions, and countertop appliances. Because every home cook has a different set of needs and priorities, we opened up the question to our contributor team to find out what gear makes their lives easier in the kitchen. Tap the link in our bio to get gear tips from @stacybronec @jaymesherrod @emilyeroark @sarahelimberg and @joannerevising!

(Looking for Meagan’s and Sarah’s kitchen favorites, as mentioned on the podcast? Head to the show notes for Episode 431, which you can find in your podcast player or by tapping through Tuesday's Insta post.)
Kids are back in school and we're back in our kitc Kids are back in school and we're back in our kitchens with a bit more pep in our steps - so let's chat about gadets and gear! Join Meagan and Sarah today to hear about the Porch Microwave, the Mercedes-Benz of Coffee Grinders, how our partners' personalities lead us to unwanted kitchen appliances, and more. We share our current favorite kitchen tools for food prep and cooking - with more to come next week, too.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts (we had a delay but all is well now!) or tap this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Big transitions in family structure are never easy Big transitions in family structure are never easy. When it comes to blending families, introducing a new romantic partner as a single parent, or stepping into step-parenting, there's so much to think about. Today Meagan gets candid about her current blended family situation, following her wedding this summer and the integration of their families into a shared home. Sarah has lots of questions as Meagan shares what's going well, a few tension points, what she would do differently, and how it's going overall.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Use code THEMOMHOUR to save 10% on @theessentialca Use code THEMOMHOUR to save 10% on @theessentialcalendar this fall!

I (Sarah) had the coziest evening with my Monday-start “Busiest Time Ever” calendar last night. If the next few months already feel like they’re filling up and you can’t quite picture it all, this is a great solution!

Tap the link in our bio to shop, or head to theessentialcalendar.com/themomhour. Happy planning!
New episode! Are you a "Today's The Day!" type, o New episode!

Are you a "Today's The Day!" type, or do you prefer to ease gently into a new adventure, challenge, or season? Whether you get excited to dive into a slew of new initiatives with the turning over of that shiny, crisp edge of a calendar page (like Sarah!), or really prefer to transition on your own internal timeline (like Meagan!), this episode is for you. Join us as we explore the many upsides to a soft start (in motherhood, business, health, and more) in an effort to take the pressure off moms this fall.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy September! What are you looking forward to t Happy September! What are you looking forward to this month? Drop a comment and let us know! 👇
Raise your hand if you practiced some sight words Raise your hand if you practiced some sight words this week - or proctored a spelling pre-test - or ran through some multiplication tables? Sometimes supporting your kids' classroom learning at home looks like facts and flash cards, but we're here to remind you that there are LOTS of ways to nurture curiosity and promote learning, and many of them can fit seamlessly into family life.

This week on the blog we're revisiting a post Meagan and Sarah co-authored back in 2018 - when our kids spanned preschool to high schoool! - with six ideas for supporting school learning at home. Tap the link in our bio to read the post!
New episode! Meagan and Sarah had fun-filled trav New episode!

Meagan and Sarah had fun-filled travel in August before saying goodbye to summer. The Powers family traveled to the East Coast for a week of multigenerational state-hopping served with a side of bug bites and butt bruises! And Meagan officially opened a bookstore in Manistique, MI, right after surviving a 20-mile hike with her siblings and their spouses. Now we're back, shifting from summer-mom to school-year-mom, and sharing our "laundry basket of hopes and aspirations for Fall 2023" with all of you.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Been thinking about trying one of our sponsors? He Been thinking about trying one of our sponsors? Here's your sign! 🌈 Once a month, we like to thank our partners and remind you of their great discounts. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight OR tap on this image at the link in our bio to check out the Deals & Offers page on our website.

We appreciate when you check out our partners who support our show and use our links + codes!

The Mom Hour is sponsored by . . . 

💚 @betterhelp (10% off your 1st month!)
💧 @liquidiv (20% off sugar-free hydration amplifier!)
💅 @oliveandjune (20% off your 1st system!)
🎨 @minted (art, cards, decor & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (the easiest photo books ever!)
🧘‍♀️ @fabletics (2 workout bottoms for $24!)
☑️ @todoistofficial (2 mo. free of Todoist Pro!)
🗓️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off calendars!)
🍃 @drinkag1 (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
👡 @vionicshoes (15% off your order!)
💊 @ritual (30% off your 1st month!)
This week on the blog we're revisiting @lisaapayne This week on the blog we're revisiting @lisaapayne4's tips for supporting your child's teacher and classroom this school year. Lisa is a career educator whose work takes her into multiple schools and classrooms, so she sees a lot! She's also a single mom to four kids who span elementary, middle, and high school this year.

Read the post at the link in our bio - and feel free to add more suggestions in the comments below!

Photo Credit: LinkedIn Sales Solutions via Unsplash

Copyright © 2023 · Life, Listened
Development by Cipher