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in Blog on October 6, 2021 by Ashley Schafluetzel

Why My Family Wears Green On October 6

By Ashley Schafluetzel | @ashleydawn519

When people think of topics or causes that we bring awareness to in October, the first thing they think of is breast cancer. We see social media, accessories, and even sports gear turn pink in support. My daughter’s cheer team even wears pink bows and uses pink poms! But there’s one day in October my family will always wear green, and that’s October 6 – World Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day.

Nine years ago, I would have had no idea what you were talking about if you said “Cerebral Palsy” to me. But today, those two words have changed my world for the better. 

My daughter, Ella, was born nine years ago. We knew prior to Ella’s birth that she would likely have some kind of disability. We received the first crushing diagnosis during the second month of her Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) stay – Ella had Periventricular Leukomalacia. I immediately started Googling and trying to figure out what we could do to support her. A nurse told me, “Don’t Google it. Google isn’t kind. It’s Ella, she will do what she needs to do.” Truer words have never been spoken, and I often repeat them to myself. I’ve even turned them into a mantra that Ella will often repeat: “I am brave.  I am strong. I can do anything. I am Ella, and I cannot be defeated!”

When Ella was two, we visited a neurosurgeon who gave us another diagnosis – Spastic Cerebral Palsy. Google it if you want, but Google isn’t kind. Cerebral Palsy (CP) is a brain injury that occurs in the womb, at birth, or shortly after, due to a loss of oxygen. It is a non-progressive disorder, which means the injury won’t get worse unless its exacerbated.  People who have CP struggle with motor abilities. They may or may not walk. They may use a wheelchair, walker, cane, or nothing.  They can be affected so minimally you might just think they are a little clumsy, or they may need full support and require a wheelchair, in addition to feeding tubes or oxygen. The muscle conditions, whether tight or weak, can become greater problems as one gets older. Ella has Spastic CP, which means her muscles are tight. Her muscles can pull on her bones and joints, causing them to develop improperly or out of place. It also generally causes pain. Physical therapy, lots of stretching, and (at last resort) surgery, all are preventative measures.  

Google won’t tell you about the strength you will see from your child when they power through another therapy or a surgery. It won’t tell you how much joy you will feel with every new skill or small milestone achieved.  We’ve met many people, some from online support groups, who give us encouragement and guidance that keeps us going.

There are sad and hard days, too. I can’t tell you how many heartbroken tears we have cried, but we work through those moments and move forward as best we can.  

I often have people reach out to me because they have a friend whose child was born early or has received a new diagnosis. They want to know how to support their friend, and I love that they’re reaching out and want my advice! Here’s what I tell them:

Treat Them Like Any Other Family

Treat their family like you would any other family. Be willing and open to make accommodations, if needed, but treat them the same.  

Know That Grief Will Come And Go

A diagnosis is very similar to grief – the pain can come and go. As our girl gets older, it can feel easier because we know more about her, and because she is verbal, we can figure out her needs more quickly.  Also, she is amazing and so loveable! But there are days I feel terribly sad for her because she can’t keep up in many ways. I find myself caught up in the what-ifs.

Continue To Invite Them Along

Continue to invite their family and child along. If they decline, even repeatedly, continue to include them.  They may be figuring out their new normal. 

Ask How They’re Doing In Their Activities

I used to feel sad hearing others talk about their child’s accomplishments, knowing it may be something Ella may never achieve. Once, someone asked how Ella was doing in physical therapy, and it made my day. I had something to share, and I got the chance to brag about my girl!

Show Your Support

I see many of my social media friends posting things similar to “It’s ____ day! Wear (this color) to show your support!” DO IT!!! Absolutely do it! Send them a picture, and/or post it on social media. Those things make my heart so happy! It reminds me that we may feel alone, but we are not. We love when our friends and family wear green to show their support on World CP Day because it lets us know they are thinking of us.

Our family spends World Cerebral Palsy day celebrating our girl. She shares about Cerebral Palsy with her class, she tells them about her day-to-day life, and how she is just like them even though she appears different.  This October 6, or any day, I encourage you to learn something new by starting a conversation or making a new friend, and maybe you’ll make someone’s day.

Ashley Schafluetzel | @ashleydawn519

Ashley and her husband live with their two kids, Ella and Jake, in Wentzville, Missouri. Both Ella and Jake were preemies (Jake was born three weeks early, and Ella was born three months early). Ella has Cerebral Palsy, along with some other conditions, and being her mom has taught Ashley so much. Ashley has been a kindergarten teacher for 11 years and it is her absolute favorite thing to do, even on the tough days. She loves the color pink, sparkles, her weekly sand volleyball games with friends, the St. Louis Cardinals, St. Louis Blues and Mizzou!

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Filed Under: Blog

About Ashley Schafluetzel

Ashley and her husband live with their two kids, Ella and Jake, in Wentzville, Missouri. Both Ella and Jake were preemies (Jake was born three weeks early, and Ella was born three months early). Ella has Cerebral Palsy, along with some other conditions, and being her mom has taught Ashley so much. Ashley has been a kindergarten teacher for 11 years and it is her absolute favorite thing to do, even on the tough days. She loves the color pink, sparkles, her weekly sand volleyball games with friends, the St. Louis Cardinals, St. Louis Blues and Mizzou!

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in t This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in the snow, well into our third year of dating, captures so much. 

But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

It also doesn't tell you about how much I (grudgingly) grew during that period of singleness. 

The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

that person is enough.
Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
🎒 20% off Valentine photo cards, & classroom Valentines
🎁 20% off photo & stationery gifts on orders $250+
💕 15% off ALL orders with code BEMINE23.
🗓️ Sale ends Monday 1/30!

The Mom Hour is part of Minted's affiliate program, which means if you shop our links we'll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

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Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal y Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal you heard on our podcast? You're in luck because here's our sponsor roundup for January. Once a month, we use this space to thank our partners and remind you of their special offers. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight or search the brand name on our website. And when you do check out our sponsors + use our links and codes, it helps support our show! We also collect ALL our active promo codes in our email newsletter - which is full of our latest episodes and blog posts, personal updates, community news, and more. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today.

Shoutout to our NEW sponsors:
🍳 @caraway_home (10% off gorgeous, non-toxic cookware!)
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🔪 @prepdish (2 weeks free of healthy, prep-ahead meal plans!)
🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
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⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute, comfy shoes!)
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Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-d Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-digits, you find yourself staring a different milestone right in the (puffy) face:

It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

This photo was taken the morning of my scheduled c-section, just a few hours before we'd meet our third and last babe. It's hard to remember, but I'm SURE I was ready to be done. Constant braxton-hicks, heartburn I hadn't experienced with the other two, food aversions that lasted the whole 39w5d, and physical exhaustion trying to keep up with a 2- and 4-year old: all part of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy, but still nobody's idea of easy.

I don't miss it - being pregnant. Grateful to have had the experience, absolutely. But I've never really pined for another go-around, at least not seriously. Still, a whole decade removed feels as significant a milestone to me as does the notion that that double-dimpled babe will blow out ten candles this weekend.

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@lisaapayne4 @ashleydawn519 @thepaperdart @cafedumartin
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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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New episode! Big black trash bag energy is in ful New episode!

Big black trash bag energy is in full effect over here! In this episode Sarah is joined by contributor @cafedumartin for a conversation about how, why and what we are getting rid of this January. We talk strategic home resets, major junk-hauling, and tips for ongoing clutter maintenance. And while on the surface this episode is about physical stuff, we also acknowledge the emotional complexity that surrounds getting rid of stuff.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in t This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in the snow, well into our third year of dating, captures so much. 

But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

It also doesn't tell you about how much I (grudgingly) grew during that period of singleness. 

The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

that person is enough.
Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
🎒 20% off Valentine photo cards, & classroom Valentines
🎁 20% off photo & stationery gifts on orders $250+
💕 15% off ALL orders with code BEMINE23.
🗓️ Sale ends Monday 1/30!

The Mom Hour is part of Minted's affiliate program, which means if you shop our links we'll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

#kindergarten #firstgrade #valentinebox #leprechauntrap #shoeboxcraft #roomparent #roommom #classroomvalentines #parenting #momlife #parentingtip #tipsformoms
Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for presch Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for preschoolers? Even for kids who want to GO GO GO all day long, having a built-in pause in the day can help develop independent play skills, encourage rest, and - of course - give caregivers a chance to reset as well.

Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

Sandy (@hopefulsmiles) give tips for implementing a successful quiet time routine AND rounds up products and activities that help make independent play more likely - even in young preschoolers. Check it out by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#quiettime #parentingtoddlers #parentingpreschoolers #momoflittles #stayathomemom #stayathomeparent #activitiesforpreschoolers #activitiesfortoddlers #threeyearolds #fouryearolds #fiveyearolds #momlife #sahm #sahmlife
New episode! Does solitude come naturally to your New episode!

Does solitude come naturally to your kids, or are moments of solo play far and few between? Meagan and Sarah read some research recently that challenged us to think about the importance of alone time, and whether our kids get enough. In this episode, we dive into our own childhood memories, how our children embrace (or run from) solitude, and how challenging it is to find that just-right balance. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
New episode! With all the day-to-day planning requ New episode! With all the day-to-day planning required to run a household, it's easy to put longterm planning on the back burner. Today Meagan and Sarah share lessons we've learned (or are still learning) that help us look ahead at a whole year, quarter, or month at a time. From knowing ourselves and our seasonal rhythms to figuring out where they keep next year's school calendar, we've picked up a few things over the years, and we're ready to dive in for 2023. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal y Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal you heard on our podcast? You're in luck because here's our sponsor roundup for January. Once a month, we use this space to thank our partners and remind you of their special offers. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight or search the brand name on our website. And when you do check out our sponsors + use our links and codes, it helps support our show! We also collect ALL our active promo codes in our email newsletter - which is full of our latest episodes and blog posts, personal updates, community news, and more. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today.

Shoutout to our NEW sponsors:
🍳 @caraway_home (10% off gorgeous, non-toxic cookware!)
💪 @futurefitapp (risk-free trial of 1-on-1 personal training!)
🔪 @prepdish (2 weeks free of healthy, prep-ahead meal plans!)
🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (50% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute, comfy shoes!)
Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, high school registration. As we discussed in this week's episode, we still get all the feels when older kids meet cultural or developmental milestones - even if they cringe when we celebrate and share.

Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-d Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-digits, you find yourself staring a different milestone right in the (puffy) face:

It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

This photo was taken the morning of my scheduled c-section, just a few hours before we'd meet our third and last babe. It's hard to remember, but I'm SURE I was ready to be done. Constant braxton-hicks, heartburn I hadn't experienced with the other two, food aversions that lasted the whole 39w5d, and physical exhaustion trying to keep up with a 2- and 4-year old: all part of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy, but still nobody's idea of easy.

I don't miss it - being pregnant. Grateful to have had the experience, absolutely. But I've never really pined for another go-around, at least not seriously. Still, a whole decade removed feels as significant a milestone to me as does the notion that that double-dimpled babe will blow out ten candles this weekend.

Time, like, whoa. 

-Sarah

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