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in Blog on October 6, 2021 by Ashley Schafluetzel

Why My Family Wears Green On October 6

By Ashley Schafluetzel | @ashleydawn519

When people think of topics or causes that we bring awareness to in October, the first thing they think of is breast cancer. We see social media, accessories, and even sports gear turn pink in support. My daughter’s cheer team even wears pink bows and uses pink poms! But there’s one day in October my family will always wear green, and that’s October 6 – World Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day.

Nine years ago, I would have had no idea what you were talking about if you said “Cerebral Palsy” to me. But today, those two words have changed my world for the better. 

My daughter, Ella, was born nine years ago. We knew prior to Ella’s birth that she would likely have some kind of disability. We received the first crushing diagnosis during the second month of her Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) stay – Ella had Periventricular Leukomalacia. I immediately started Googling and trying to figure out what we could do to support her. A nurse told me, “Don’t Google it. Google isn’t kind. It’s Ella, she will do what she needs to do.” Truer words have never been spoken, and I often repeat them to myself. I’ve even turned them into a mantra that Ella will often repeat: “I am brave.  I am strong. I can do anything. I am Ella, and I cannot be defeated!”

When Ella was two, we visited a neurosurgeon who gave us another diagnosis – Spastic Cerebral Palsy. Google it if you want, but Google isn’t kind. Cerebral Palsy (CP) is a brain injury that occurs in the womb, at birth, or shortly after, due to a loss of oxygen. It is a non-progressive disorder, which means the injury won’t get worse unless its exacerbated.  People who have CP struggle with motor abilities. They may or may not walk. They may use a wheelchair, walker, cane, or nothing.  They can be affected so minimally you might just think they are a little clumsy, or they may need full support and require a wheelchair, in addition to feeding tubes or oxygen. The muscle conditions, whether tight or weak, can become greater problems as one gets older. Ella has Spastic CP, which means her muscles are tight. Her muscles can pull on her bones and joints, causing them to develop improperly or out of place. It also generally causes pain. Physical therapy, lots of stretching, and (at last resort) surgery, all are preventative measures.  

Google won’t tell you about the strength you will see from your child when they power through another therapy or a surgery. It won’t tell you how much joy you will feel with every new skill or small milestone achieved.  We’ve met many people, some from online support groups, who give us encouragement and guidance that keeps us going.

There are sad and hard days, too. I can’t tell you how many heartbroken tears we have cried, but we work through those moments and move forward as best we can.  

I often have people reach out to me because they have a friend whose child was born early or has received a new diagnosis. They want to know how to support their friend, and I love that they’re reaching out and want my advice! Here’s what I tell them:

Treat Them Like Any Other Family

Treat their family like you would any other family. Be willing and open to make accommodations, if needed, but treat them the same.  

Know That Grief Will Come And Go

A diagnosis is very similar to grief – the pain can come and go. As our girl gets older, it can feel easier because we know more about her, and because she is verbal, we can figure out her needs more quickly.  Also, she is amazing and so loveable! But there are days I feel terribly sad for her because she can’t keep up in many ways. I find myself caught up in the what-ifs.

Continue To Invite Them Along

Continue to invite their family and child along. If they decline, even repeatedly, continue to include them.  They may be figuring out their new normal. 

Ask How They’re Doing In Their Activities

I used to feel sad hearing others talk about their child’s accomplishments, knowing it may be something Ella may never achieve. Once, someone asked how Ella was doing in physical therapy, and it made my day. I had something to share, and I got the chance to brag about my girl!

Show Your Support

I see many of my social media friends posting things similar to “It’s ____ day! Wear (this color) to show your support!” DO IT!!! Absolutely do it! Send them a picture, and/or post it on social media. Those things make my heart so happy! It reminds me that we may feel alone, but we are not. We love when our friends and family wear green to show their support on World CP Day because it lets us know they are thinking of us.

Our family spends World Cerebral Palsy day celebrating our girl. She shares about Cerebral Palsy with her class, she tells them about her day-to-day life, and how she is just like them even though she appears different.  This October 6, or any day, I encourage you to learn something new by starting a conversation or making a new friend, and maybe you’ll make someone’s day.

Ashley Schafluetzel | @ashleydawn519

Ashley and her husband live with their two kids, Ella and Jake, in Wentzville, Missouri. Both Ella and Jake were preemies (Jake was born three weeks early, and Ella was born three months early). Ella has Cerebral Palsy, along with some other conditions, and being her mom has taught Ashley so much. Ashley has been a kindergarten teacher for 11 years and it is her absolute favorite thing to do, even on the tough days. She loves the color pink, sparkles, her weekly sand volleyball games with friends, the St. Louis Cardinals, St. Louis Blues and Mizzou!

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Filed Under: Blog

About Ashley Schafluetzel

Ashley and her husband live with their two kids, Ella and Jake, in Wentzville, Missouri. Both Ella and Jake were preemies (Jake was born three weeks early, and Ella was born three months early). Ella has Cerebral Palsy, along with some other conditions, and being her mom has taught Ashley so much. Ashley has been a kindergarten teacher for 11 years and it is her absolute favorite thing to do, even on the tough days. She loves the color pink, sparkles, her weekly sand volleyball games with friends, the St. Louis Cardinals, St. Louis Blues and Mizzou!

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One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refresh One of our most popular blog posts EVER is refreshed for 2022! Click this image at the link in our bio to read the just-structured-enough approach Sarah took during those long AZ summers at home when her kids were 6, 4, and 1.5. 😎 

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Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June spons Happy weekend - and a big thanks to our June sponsors! Every month, we like to take a little time to shoutout our partners who help support the show + remind our listeners of some of the great deals our sponsors are offering. For more info, specific promo codes, and links, just search the brand name on our website, and they'll pop up in our episode show notes. We also collect ALL our active promo codes (even the old ones that are still working!) in our email newsletter - which is full of other great things we want to share with you, too. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today. 

Meet our NEW partners this month . . .
🗣️ @connectspeech (early language support!)
💙 @appahealth (1st month of mentorship free!)
💄 @thrivecausemetics (15% off your 1st order)

And welcome back to . . .
⭐️ @paireyewear (15% off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @autoapprove ($100 when you refinance!)
⭐️ @outschool ($15 off your child's 1st class!)
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⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
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Click this image at the link in our bio to read Kia’s book recommendations and more ways to start the conversation at home with your family.

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #momtruisms #momtruths #parentingadvice #motherhoodstruggles
Just a “hello” from last-week-me, who spent 30 Just a “hello” from last-week-me, who spent 30 minutes moving 25 chickens by hand from their home to the new chicken yard, because they refused to go on their own. And then an hour moving them back, because same.

It reminded me a lot of mothering a toddler, and got me wondering: what’s the most ridiculous thing mom life has brought you in the past week? -M
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Have you ever fantasized about attending a camp-like environment for grown-ups? Much about the classic summer camp experience is appealing to us (though not EVERYTHING--we could certainly do without the bugs), and the idea of simply showing up for a perfectly curated experience without any responsibility, or planning, sounds AMAZING. Listen to this fun More Than Mom to hear all of our must-have activities (like food and wine tastings, yoga, personal style consults and more!), things that would be a hard no (like swimming in the gross, murky lake or participating in corny, guided crafts) and our daydreams about creating a Mom Hour Retreat (maybe someday?)!

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts #summercamps #womenretreats #momretreat
New on the blog this week from @jaymesherrod: LGBT New on the blog this week from @jaymesherrod: LGBTQ+ Resources For Parents (And Anyone Who Wants To Learn!). 

"The fact is, none of us will get it right every time. Not with each other, and certainly not with our kids. But it’s important that we keep showing up and having the conversations anyway."

Click this image at the link in our bio to access Jayme's roundup of resources.

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