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in Blog on December 9, 2020 by Meagan Francis

Meagan’s Holiday Help, Day 9: Look for little miracles.

This time of year, we seem particularly tuned-in to the idea of miracles.

And – especially in a year like this – we may find ourselves with fingers crossed, hoping and praying for our own. Maybe nothing quite as big as a virgin birth, mind you, but plenty big to us, right now.

To stay (or become) healthy. To stay (or become) employed. For our communities to thrive again. To once again spend time with the people we love.

During hard or stressful times, I often find myself walking around with fists figuratively clenched, please, please, please echoing in my heart. And there’s nothing wrong with that: we’re all yearning for something, often something big.

But sometimes I think all that focusing on the big things I want can make it hard to notice the “little miracles” that happen all the time – or at least, much more often than the big, exciting ones.

Depending on your spiritual beliefs, a ‘miracle’ may mean very different things to you. Divine intervention, a manifestation of energy, or simply happy coincidences; no matter your take on how they happen, I think we can all agree that they happen – right?

And what I’m struck with is how often the right thing happens just when you need it most, and how they sometimes cluster together, as though purposefully set there to get your attention.

The other day, I actually experienced three “little miracles” within a three-hour period.

Mini-Miracle #1

I was a little frayed at the edges that evening. Between shopping, gift-making, and trying to figure out how to create maximum merriment in a locked-down world – plus all the usual busy-ness of work, parenting, and life – my days have felt pretty full lately. I thrive on a lot of activity, and get a rush out of the feeling I call “pleasantly productive” – until one of those perilously-spinning plates starts to wobble. At that point, things can spiral fast.

(Those are the days, by the way, that little miracles are made for. You don’t necessarily need huge, grandstanding interventions all the time; when you’re on-edge, some small gestures will do just fine.)

There is a certain beloved teenager in my life who, lately, has been a little more teenager-ish than is strictly necessary. This person is smart, observant, and creative. Also: critical, impatient, and stubborn. I have been bending over backward to make this hormonal human happy, going far out of my way to arrange opportunities and activities that will bring excitement and joy in a way that Covid-times don’t make easy. But for the most part, my efforts have been met with resistance, complaining, and a lot of heavy sighs.

By Monday afternoon, I had had enough, and stalked off for a few minutes to stew about ingratitude and poor attitudes, my anger feeding and whipping itself into a fury. After about fifteen minutes of this, I almost – almost, almost – stalked back over to my son and let loose with my fury. But then, I experienced what I can only describe as in intervention of grace. As I walked over my fury dissipated, my blood pressure dropped a few points and I found myself firmly, but kindly, asking him to put down his phone and engage with me. He did. We’ve been in a much better place since.

Miraculous? If you’ve ever parented a teenager, you know the answer: you bet your life.

Mini-Miracle #2

Later that evening, I headed out to pick up the week’s breakfasts and lunches. This school year, Michigan rolled out a pandemic-inspired program to serve all kids free breakfast and lunch regardless of need. To accommodate remote and virtual learners, our district has made it possible to pick the meals up a week at a time. It may seem like a small thing, but being able to have familiar “school” foods while learning at home has been really fun and grounding for my kids, and while it’s not making the difference for us between eating or going hungry, having several meals’ worth of fruits and vegetables – and, okay, single-serve cereal bowls and chocolate milk and Bosco sticks and personal-sized frozen pizzas and those weird pre-packaged soybutter sandwiches – at no charge has been a nice offset to our family’s food budget.

But when I pulled up into the line, the woman working the orders couldn’t find my name on the list. I was sure I’d put in our order…or, wait, had I? Wherever the glitch occurred, one thing was sure: I was not on the list.

I drove away fighting back tears, friends. See, picking up those breakfasts and lunches on Monday nights has become a fun surprise for the kids, and something I can do to help their lives feel a little bit more normal when literally nothing else is. I was mad at myself for having screwed up the order and sad that I’d be showing up empty-handed rather than bearing yummy (and sometimes strange) treats.

Except…within an hour, I had an email from the food service supervisor. They’d had three no-shows (the number of school-aged kids I have, by the way.) Could I come in the morning and pick up the food?

I admit the tears I’d been holding back flowed freely when I saw that email, in a way that surprised me. Something so small, that in the moment, felt so big – and such perfect timing. Just another little miracle.

Mini-Miracle #3

My final Monday miracle: that night, I checked in on a Facebook thread I’d started earlier in the day, asking my friends to help me solve a long-standing mystery.

When I was about 9 or 10, my mom and I watched a holiday TV special together that started as a seemingly sweet Christmas story, then devolved into a horror show complete with a murderous monster. Mom and I talked about it for years afterward, but could never remember the name of the show or the monster, and we never came across it again.

If you’ve lost someone important to you, you’ve probably experienced the weird phenomenon of having shared memories with only that person – and that phenomenon is especially intense with things that happened so long ago you can’t be completely confident of how you recall them.

Once that person is gone, you don’t have anyone to go back to and ask, “Was this really the way it happened?” Along with the original loss, you’ve also lost the connection to many moments in time and the certainty of how you experienced them.

All that to say: while I was 100% sure the show, whatever it was, would be cheesy and awful and not something I would likely ever want to watch again, it has come up for me every single holiday since my mom died, and it suddenly felt very important to me that I work out this puzzle. But many failed search attempts and incorrect guesses later, I’d started to give up on the idea that this mystery would ever be solved.

Around 10 PM, my own personal memory-recovery angel, a woman named Michelle, who isn’t even my Facebook friend nor someone I’ve ever interacted with to my knowledge, posted a comment with the correct answer: a Tales from the Dark Side holiday special that had aired in 1986.

I have no idea how she found it, or why she saw my post. But she was completely right.

I Googled the episode and found a video of the last three minutes of the show, in which a terrible monster named The Grither (a name my mom and I tried many times to recall, unsuccessfully) crashes through the family-room window and kills both the parents in front of their two small children (one played by Jenna Von Oy, best known as Six from Blossom).

I admit it: I wept tears of delight as I watched this gruesome scene unfold, highlighted by little Jenna quipping, “It wasn’t Santa Claus!”

Until that moment, I’d completely forgotten the detail of my mom and I rolling over that line and repeating it again and again over the years – and strangely, it felt like a little gift to me, divinely delivered 34 years later.

Monday was a miraculous day for me, friends. Even though there were no direct answers to any of my bigger prayers. Actually, nothing all that important happened, strictly speaking.

Just three little miracles.

-Me managing, inexplicably, to eke out some grace under pressure – and enjoying a better relationship with my teen because of it.

-A technical mistake on my part, corrected by a coincidence, leveraged by the kindness of someone in charge.

-And a longstanding mystery solved by a total stranger, helping me feel more in touch with my mom, who has now been gone 21 years.

You can chalk my “little miracles” up to whichever forces you like, or even simple good fortune.

But one thing I know for sure: because I noticed them, two days later these “little miracles” are still bringing me a lot of delight.

And maybe that’s the point. Good things happen to us, all of us, all the time. Do we notice them? Most of the time, probably not. Perhaps the biggest miracle of all was the fact that I paid attention.

Going forward, I hope we are all a little more in tune to the little miracles happening all around us, every day. Teenage meltdowns averted, free Bosco sticks, and killer monsters included.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Holiday Help 2020

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« Letting Go of Perfect-Holiday-Mom Pressure (For Real This Time): Episode 290
Meagan’s Holiday Help, Day 10: No, you aren’t behind. »

Comments

  1. Ali says

    December 9, 2020 at 11:37 am

    I love this! I try to do a gratitude practice everyday, but I am sure I have missed out on some little miracles lately. Im going to pay closer attention these next few weeks!

    On another random note – I totally grew up in the same Connecticut town as Jenna von Oy and my sisters went to school with her lol!

    Reply
  2. Kim says

    December 9, 2020 at 1:09 pm

    Love this!

    Reply
  3. Amy Suardi says

    December 11, 2020 at 7:45 pm

    It’s so great to hear your voice again, Meagan! I love how you always take us on a journey and reward us with a nugget of gold we can take with us on our own journeys. To me the most moving line is this one –“Perhaps the biggest miracle of all was the fact that I paid attention.”

    I’m writing about something very similar right now too. Another little miracle? I think so — one that I wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t pay attention.

    Reply
  4. Tessa says

    December 13, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    Love this.

    Reply
  5. Michelle says

    December 14, 2020 at 3:43 pm

    This post was special to me. It inspired me to start documenting all the little miracles in my own life. There are so many. Thank you!

    Reply

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Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

#kindergarten #firstgrade #valentinebox #leprechauntrap #shoeboxcraft #roomparent #roommom #classroomvalentines #parenting #momlife #parentingtip #tipsformoms
Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for presch Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for preschoolers? Even for kids who want to GO GO GO all day long, having a built-in pause in the day can help develop independent play skills, encourage rest, and - of course - give caregivers a chance to reset as well.

Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

Sandy (@hopefulsmiles) give tips for implementing a successful quiet time routine AND rounds up products and activities that help make independent play more likely - even in young preschoolers. Check it out by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#quiettime #parentingtoddlers #parentingpreschoolers #momoflittles #stayathomemom #stayathomeparent #activitiesforpreschoolers #activitiesfortoddlers #threeyearolds #fouryearolds #fiveyearolds #momlife #sahm #sahmlife
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Does solitude come naturally to your kids, or are moments of solo play far and few between? Meagan and Sarah read some research recently that challenged us to think about the importance of alone time, and whether our kids get enough. In this episode, we dive into our own childhood memories, how our children embrace (or run from) solitude, and how challenging it is to find that just-right balance. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
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Shoutout to our NEW sponsors:
🍳 @caraway_home (10% off gorgeous, non-toxic cookware!)
💪 @futurefitapp (risk-free trial of 1-on-1 personal training!)
🔪 @prepdish (2 weeks free of healthy, prep-ahead meal plans!)
🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (50% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute, comfy shoes!)
Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, high school registration. As we discussed in this week's episode, we still get all the feels when older kids meet cultural or developmental milestones - even if they cringe when we celebrate and share.

Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-d Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-digits, you find yourself staring a different milestone right in the (puffy) face:

It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

This photo was taken the morning of my scheduled c-section, just a few hours before we'd meet our third and last babe. It's hard to remember, but I'm SURE I was ready to be done. Constant braxton-hicks, heartburn I hadn't experienced with the other two, food aversions that lasted the whole 39w5d, and physical exhaustion trying to keep up with a 2- and 4-year old: all part of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy, but still nobody's idea of easy.

I don't miss it - being pregnant. Grateful to have had the experience, absolutely. But I've never really pined for another go-around, at least not seriously. Still, a whole decade removed feels as significant a milestone to me as does the notion that that double-dimpled babe will blow out ten candles this weekend.

Time, like, whoa. 

-Sarah
If you're looking at school options for Fall 2023, If you're looking at school options for Fall 2023, you might be feeling overwhelmed by school tours, open houses, registration deadlines, or the all-too-common "red shirting question". That's why today we're revisiting an enormously detailed resource on our site: 

➡️ What Teachers & Educators Wish Parents Knew About Making School Decisions ⬅️

This piece is a collaboration between four educators on our team whose careers span preschool through middle school. They weigh in what what they wish parents knew about things like...

...choosing “the right school” 
...what it means to be “ready for kindergarten” 
...visiting a school for a tour or open house 
...learning to read 
...kids and friendships; playground politics
...making school decisions for a special needs student 
...becoming part of a classroom or school community 
 
Click this image at the link in our bio to get the guide. Bookmark it, send it to your co-parent or mom friends, and use it as a starting place as you wade through this tricky time of year! 

@lisaapayne4 @ashleydawn519 @thepaperdart @cafedumartin
C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e good times, come on! Today’s e C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e good times, come on! Today’s episode is number 400! We can’t think of a better way to celebrate hitting a big podcast milestone than talking about how we honor birthdays and milestone celebrations in our families – especially as kids get older. Join Meagan and Sarah as we offer insight into making birthdays special for big kids, tweens and teens; how kids getting older hits us differently as moms, too; and how honoring big kid milestones gets tricker, but still gives us all the feels. 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Y'all's reaction to our entire catalog now being a Y'all's reaction to our entire catalog now being available has been so fun! Listeners have told us that they're now able to re-listen to old favorites, or - amazing for us - share them directly with friends.

(If you missed it, previously, podcast apps showed only our most recent 300 episodes – less than half our catalog. The rest were only available on our website.)

Just for fun, we rounded up a few more of our team's favorite episodes from the early days of the podcast. Here are five MORE oldies that have stood the test of time, and that make for great entry-points to our early catalog.

You can listen from our website by clicking this image at the link in our bio – but EVEN BETTER, you can find the episodes in your favorite podcast app - just search by episode title, or keep on scrolling until you find them!

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