Dear Maddie,
In the next few weeks, you will graduate from only to oldest. We’re all getting ready to welcome a new baby sister into our lives and our family of three will become a family of four.
Through the last two years, you and I have watched each other grow. I have watched you grow from a cooing, spitting newborn, to a walking, talking toddler. And you have watched me grow from an overly tired, nervous new parent to a more confident, comfortable mom.
We have been together through the ups and downs, the uncertainty, and the newness of it all. You have witnessed and spurred all of the growth that has happened since your birth and have been there with me every step of the way. You were the one who shared your swaddle to wipe my tears when feeding wasn’t going well and when I didn’t know how to help you sleep. You were the first one to wrap your little arms around me when I was having a tough day and rest your tired head on my chest after a tantrum.
I have a lot of feelings as we approach this new chapter as a family. I am so excited to meet your little sister and see you as a big sister, and I am sad that our time with you as the only one is coming to a close.
I’m worried you won’t feel as loved if my arms are full when you need a hug. I’m concerned you’ll feel pushed aside because my pumping schedule might interrupt our reading time. I’m afraid you won’t think I’m as fun to play with because I’m running on three hours of sleep.
As we get closer to your little sister arriving, I am both grieving the inevitable absence of our one-on-one time, and also am so excited to see you in this new role of big sister. Please know, you will always be my baby bean.
It’s time for us to do some more growing, baby girl. It’s time for you to grow into a big sister, and for me to grow into a mom of two exceptional daughters. I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.
I love love love you, Maddie.
– Mama
I’m reading this with tears in my eyes because I know this transition all too well. The push and pull of feelings as you welcome another one into the world. What it means for what you’ll lose and what you’ll each gain. We welcomed our second in 15 months ago and this feeling still exists. But it’s less a tension that I fight and one that I acknowledge and let flow through me-it is a reality of coexisting—of grief and anticipation. I am always reminding myself that even more important than the relationship I have with each of them is the relationships that they have with each other and the gift of being part of a bigger family. But you already know this – you recognize this next step as one of growth than loss—and that is beautiful. Sending you and your family lots of light as you make this exciting transition.