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in Blog on January 2, 2023 by Joanne Ruelos Diaz

How I’m Decluttering My Brain In 2023

For January 2023, I’m focusing on one goal: To Declutter My Brain.

I am one of those people who has more than 10 tabs open on my laptop at all times. I’m always working on multiple projects, so I usually have separate desktop screens for each one. I swipe back and forth between Google Chrome, Microsoft Word, Adobe Acrobat, Slack, and Spotify. Within Chrome, I tap between researching websites for work, researching, managing, and executing any number of things that need to happen for my two kids, checking email, and doing the things that need to be done to deal with the emails. Simultaneously, I’m picking up my phone to check social media apps to laugh, love, like, and wow.

In one of my many open tabs, I read about a new book called Attention Span and learned that we spend an average of just 47 seconds on any screen before shifting our attention. It then takes 25 minutes to bring our attention back to a task after an interruption. Forty-seven seconds and 25 minutes to bring our attention back. At this rate, it will take me 8 weeks to write this blog entry. I know I need to take better care of my brain because I’m feeling more scattered. It’s getting harder to keep track of things. It’s taking longer than necessary to do what I need to do. And there’s just too much stuff in here that I don’t need.

To put it another way: In 2023, I want to have more space to think clearly and creatively. I want to be more efficient. I want to have more energy for myself and for my family.

Scrolling social media on my phone is my Achilles heel. I’m on it to connect with friends and my community. I need it for work. I learn so much from the point-of-view of others. Videos of red pandas eating grapes bring me joy! But, it’s as if I’m trying to make breakfast, and I decide to take out all the cookbooks, utensils, pots and pans, and ingredients to make pancakes, plus some berries to put on top, and some seeds to plant to grow my own berries, plus some news, and entertainment, and skincare tips. What was I saying?

Before I tried to limit my social media use, I thought about why I use it in the first place.

1) For information and entertainment
2) For connection and community – interacting with friends, getting information in local Facebook groups, keeping up with interesting parents, writers, and activists
3) To avoid doing something that’s hard (like writing), annoying (like cleaning), boring (like bathtime)
4) Because after a long day, I’m too mentally tired to do anything else

With these in mind, here’s what I’m going to focus on as I start the new year.

Limit when and how I get information and entertainment.

  • Purge and minimize the number of accounts I follow: I go through and unfollow or hide accounts that are cluttering my mental space.
  • I’ve signed up for newsletters to give me more information about fewer topics. I’ve also started reading selective newsletters from content creators instead of following them on social media. I’m not sure how this will go but I’m going to see if this helps keep things mentally tidier.

Focus on meaningful relationships with a few vs. superficial relationships with many.

  • If I pick up my phone to feel connected, I try to reach out to friends directly instead of absorbing people’s posts, stories, and reels. Group text threads save my sanity. Sometimes I just send a screenshot of a post I saw on Instagram. The good thing is, it stops me from scrolling and leads to more connection.
  • Send real mail! I have a handful of friends and family who really enjoy receiving and sending cards. I have these cute stamps of otters in the snow that need to be out in the world. They’re the motivation I need to pop a card in the mail.

Acknowledge the urge to avoid and be nice to my body instead.

  • B-R-E-A-T-H-E, specifically exhale. Throughout the day, I find myself holding my breath. Before I tap over to another tab or pick up my phone, I’ve been prompting myself to release the breath I’m holding. Then I take a few more, slow deep breaths. I check to see if I need to release my jaw, shoulders, or stomach. I almost always do. Instead of hunching over my phone, I’m reminding myself to remember I have a body and to give it some care by moving and stretching just a little.
  • Hydrate. Drink water, refill water bottle, repeat. I’ve found a way to use my procrastination skills for good.

Practice mindfulness aka stare out the window.

Like everyone else, I tend to grab my phone when I’m waiting—for the water to boil, the checkout line to move, my son to put on his socks. It’s fine sometimes, but I don’t like how it’s become a habit. And I don’t like what it’s doing to my attention span. I’m trying to get more comfortable doing…nothing. Let’s face it. We know meditation and mindfulness are good for us but it’s hard to make the time. For this first month of the year, at least, what if while my afternoon coffee is brewing, I just stayed present and stared out the window? What if I just let my brain unclench? Let this be our 2023 goal: More staring out the window.

Wind-down better.

When I’m done washing the dishes, wiping down the counters, sweeping up, and saying goodnight to the kids, the house is quiet. I often collapse on the couch or lay in bed with my daytime clothes still on and pop open social media. I’m tired and it’s soothing to zone out. But while I’ve just tidied my kitchen, I’ve taken out all kinds of topics from the drawers and cabinets in my brain. More news stories, more entertainment, more skincare suggestions, more videos of pandas.

I make it easier for myself to wind-down in a more restorative way by making sure I have a book to read before bed. I reserve books at the local library so I have several options at any time. It’s more satisfying to read a book that I don’t want to put down than to keep scrolling because I’m too tired to put the phone down.

I reframe showers as a treat and not a chore. If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend lighting a candle and taking a shower without your overhead light on. The dim lighting makes it 10x more relaxing. There are seasons of motherhood when moisturizing your body is a treat you don’t have time for. Setting aside some time to put lotion on your legs after a shower? Amazing. Also, once a week, I watch a show while painting my nails. Essie Expressie Quick Dry polish is my go-to because it’s so easy to put on and using the brush is soothing. Plus, it dries FAST.

I don’t want to admit this, but doing one thing – like watching TV – doesn’t prevent me from mindlessly scrolling at the same time. I know some people love knitting, cross-stitch, and embroidery. Unfortunately, those don’t work for me. But I’ve discovered Zentangles and it’s basically fancy doodling with fun pens. I can watch Netflix while drawing some zentangles on notecards…then send them to friends in the mail with a snowy otter stamp. No phone required.

Tap to Tidy

In wrapping up, I want to point out that I purposely haven’t included any hyperlinks in this post. No link to a great water bottle, shower candle, Essie Expressie nail polish, or book on Zentangles. Instead, I invite you to join me. Close this tab or app, exhale, unclench, fill up a glass of water, and stare out the window for minute. I don’t think we’ll miss anything.

Photo by Phil on Unsplash

Related

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: new year, technology

About Joanne Ruelos Diaz

Joanne is a writer, editor, and children’s book author living in Northern New Jersey with her husband and two boys. All together, they share lots of laughs, a love of reading, and one bathroom. She has a children’s book coming out in November 2021 called THE LITTLE BOOK OF JOY, and it shares small ways to celebrate and find joy every day of the year. She finds all different kinds of joy by writing for children and grown-ups. You can see a little more about Joanne at JoanneRuelosDiaz.com.

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This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in t This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in the snow, well into our third year of dating, captures so much. 

But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

It also doesn't tell you about how much I (grudgingly) grew during that period of singleness. 

The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

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Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
🎒 20% off Valentine photo cards, & classroom Valentines
🎁 20% off photo & stationery gifts on orders $250+
💕 15% off ALL orders with code BEMINE23.
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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

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It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

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New episode! Big black trash bag energy is in ful New episode!

Big black trash bag energy is in full effect over here! In this episode Sarah is joined by contributor @cafedumartin for a conversation about how, why and what we are getting rid of this January. We talk strategic home resets, major junk-hauling, and tips for ongoing clutter maintenance. And while on the surface this episode is about physical stuff, we also acknowledge the emotional complexity that surrounds getting rid of stuff.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in t This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in the snow, well into our third year of dating, captures so much. 

But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

It also doesn't tell you about how much I (grudgingly) grew during that period of singleness. 

The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

that person is enough.
Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
🎒 20% off Valentine photo cards, & classroom Valentines
🎁 20% off photo & stationery gifts on orders $250+
💕 15% off ALL orders with code BEMINE23.
🗓️ Sale ends Monday 1/30!

The Mom Hour is part of Minted's affiliate program, which means if you shop our links we'll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

#kindergarten #firstgrade #valentinebox #leprechauntrap #shoeboxcraft #roomparent #roommom #classroomvalentines #parenting #momlife #parentingtip #tipsformoms
Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for presch Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for preschoolers? Even for kids who want to GO GO GO all day long, having a built-in pause in the day can help develop independent play skills, encourage rest, and - of course - give caregivers a chance to reset as well.

Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

Sandy (@hopefulsmiles) give tips for implementing a successful quiet time routine AND rounds up products and activities that help make independent play more likely - even in young preschoolers. Check it out by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#quiettime #parentingtoddlers #parentingpreschoolers #momoflittles #stayathomemom #stayathomeparent #activitiesforpreschoolers #activitiesfortoddlers #threeyearolds #fouryearolds #fiveyearolds #momlife #sahm #sahmlife
New episode! Does solitude come naturally to your New episode!

Does solitude come naturally to your kids, or are moments of solo play far and few between? Meagan and Sarah read some research recently that challenged us to think about the importance of alone time, and whether our kids get enough. In this episode, we dive into our own childhood memories, how our children embrace (or run from) solitude, and how challenging it is to find that just-right balance. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
New episode! With all the day-to-day planning requ New episode! With all the day-to-day planning required to run a household, it's easy to put longterm planning on the back burner. Today Meagan and Sarah share lessons we've learned (or are still learning) that help us look ahead at a whole year, quarter, or month at a time. From knowing ourselves and our seasonal rhythms to figuring out where they keep next year's school calendar, we've picked up a few things over the years, and we're ready to dive in for 2023. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal y Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal you heard on our podcast? You're in luck because here's our sponsor roundup for January. Once a month, we use this space to thank our partners and remind you of their special offers. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight or search the brand name on our website. And when you do check out our sponsors + use our links and codes, it helps support our show! We also collect ALL our active promo codes in our email newsletter - which is full of our latest episodes and blog posts, personal updates, community news, and more. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today.

Shoutout to our NEW sponsors:
🍳 @caraway_home (10% off gorgeous, non-toxic cookware!)
💪 @futurefitapp (risk-free trial of 1-on-1 personal training!)
🔪 @prepdish (2 weeks free of healthy, prep-ahead meal plans!)
🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (50% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute, comfy shoes!)
Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, high school registration. As we discussed in this week's episode, we still get all the feels when older kids meet cultural or developmental milestones - even if they cringe when we celebrate and share.

Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-d Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-digits, you find yourself staring a different milestone right in the (puffy) face:

It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

This photo was taken the morning of my scheduled c-section, just a few hours before we'd meet our third and last babe. It's hard to remember, but I'm SURE I was ready to be done. Constant braxton-hicks, heartburn I hadn't experienced with the other two, food aversions that lasted the whole 39w5d, and physical exhaustion trying to keep up with a 2- and 4-year old: all part of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy, but still nobody's idea of easy.

I don't miss it - being pregnant. Grateful to have had the experience, absolutely. But I've never really pined for another go-around, at least not seriously. Still, a whole decade removed feels as significant a milestone to me as does the notion that that double-dimpled babe will blow out ten candles this weekend.

Time, like, whoa. 

-Sarah

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