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in Blog on January 23, 2023 by Sandy Hsu

Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine

This week on the podcast we’re discussing the importance of alone time for kids, so we thought we’d revisit the blog post below, filled with great ideas for beginning a quiet time routine with preschoolers. Enjoy!

Life is busy these days— we’re juggling full schedules with kids activities, chores, work, school, errands, appointments, birthday parties and playdates. But there’s something glorious that happens every day in the early afternoon for about two hours when the hustle and bustle dies down; I work on writing in my room with a cup of tea while my daughter, immersed in her imagination, works on a self-directed craft project building her stuffed owl a swing from construction paper: this is the magic of quiet time.

I introduced quiet time as soon as my daughter dropped her daily nap and even though it took work to implement and still takes intentionality to maintain, having routine alone time has really helped all of us thrive; there is no doubt that I am a happier, more calm and patient mom when I’ve had time to myself— whether that’s to rest, read, paint, work, or get things done around the house (quietly)— and the same goes for my children. We are all a better version of ourselves when we set aside time to hit pause on all the stimulation and demands of the day, and simply recharge.

Quiet time or rest time for some kids may mean quiet reading time or independent play time, while for others it could be zoning out to music or an audio book; basically, your little one is in charge of their own fun (or boredom) with some set parameters. Even when children no longer physically need a daily nap, they still need downtime and there are so many valuable skills that kids learn through unstructured, independent play— making decisions about how to spend their time, exercising autonomy and creativity, problem-solving, and growing in confidence that they can accomplish things on their own.

I could sing the praises of quiet time all day long, but I also know that it can be tricky to transition a toddler or preschooler from nap time to quiet time. A child’s ability to entertain themselves and be comfortable with alone time develops with practice, so establishing a new quiet time routine does take some work and patience.

Here are our essential tips for creating a successful quiet time routine:

Spend a little one-on-one time before starting quiet time

Sometimes you’ve got to put time in to get time out. I’ve found that spending at least 10 minutes of intentional one-on-one time with my daughter right before rest time really helps to fill her bucket for independent play later on. We stick to activities that are calming and have a clear end point like reading a book, coloring, or doing a small puzzle together. It makes such a big difference when your child goes into quiet time feeling connected and secure rather than yearning for attention!

Start small and work your way up

My four-year-old has about 2 hours of quiet time each day that lines up with the baby’s afternoon nap. It’s glorious but we definitely had to work up to this. Start with a shorter amount of time that is attainable for your child then gradually work your way up as their independence grows. Consider your little one’s age and ability to entertain themselves during the day— a child that plays well on their own might begin with 30 minutes of quiet time while the starting point for a toddler might be as little as 10 minutes.

Initially, it might also help to break up quiet time into smaller chunks by offering a new activity at the halfway point; for example, a 30 minute quiet time might look like 15 minutes of reading followed by a check-in to let them know they are doing great and offering a bin of blocks to build for another 15 minutes. Try to keep the interaction short, praise the progress your child has already made, and slowly increase the interval between check-ins. 

Use a visual timer 

An ok-to-wake clock has been a game changer for us in establishing our bedtime and rest routines. Little kids struggle with the concept of time and not knowing when quiet time will end can make them feel anxious. An alarm clock that lights up in different colors to cue when quiet time begins and ends helps put to rest the inevitable question, When is quiet time done? 

Using a visual timer or alarm clock also relieves you from being the sole enforcer of how long the quiet time will last (it’s the clock that says when it’s ok to come out!) and avoid power struggles. For kids who like knowing how much time is left, a timer like this one that shows a visual countdown can provide that extra reassurance that time is progressing.

Let them know what to expect and be consistent

When you start transitioning your toddler or preschooler from nap time to quiet time, set some ground rules so they know what to expect. Keep it simple— let them know where they will spend quiet time and give a few specific do’s and don’ts. The 3 basic rules for quiet time in our family are:

  1. Stay in your room until the ok-to-wake clock is green (except to go to the bathroom or if there is an emergency)
  2. Choose something quiet to do on your own (when she was younger I would provide a few options)
  3. No jumping, stomping, or yelling (this became a rule for us after a certain quiet time when my daughter decided to pretend the rug in her room was a pool and she was jumping off her bed onto it yelling, “THREE TWO ONE SPLASH!!!” at the top of her lungs)

I’ve also found it helpful to model quiet time behavior for my daughter by letting her know how I will be spending my alone time: “Mommy will be having quiet time too. I will be resting in my room” or “Mommy will be spending quiet work time in front of the computer.” 

Of course kids will test these boundaries, but having a rhythm of rest is a priority in our family so we are firm on our rules and consistent about enforcing them. We do quiet time at around the same time everyday, including weekends, even when we are traveling with very few exceptions; now my kids know it’s just a natural part of our daily routine.

Set up a video monitor

When things seem a little too quiet it can either mean rest time is actually going great or…trouble. My daughter has quiet time in her room with the door closed so having a way to supervise her safety without my physical presence has been key to our quiet time success. 

A video monitor is a great way to make sure your little one isn’t getting into something dangerous without interrupting their focus on solo play. It’s also been particularly useful in helping us expand the range of activities my daughter has access to as she’s gotten older; for example, when my daughter wanted to start using markers, scissors, and glue in her room during quiet time, I was pretty nervous about the possible havoc that could lead to…but the video monitor gave me peace of mind knowing that I could step in at any time if she started applying her creativity to the furniture or her clothes, so we gave it a try. Now, arts and crafts are one of her favorite things to do during quiet time and we love being surprised by all the amazing things she creates!

Provide incentives for a successful quiet time

Having something to look forward to can provide that extra bit of motivation your child may need to exercise patience and entertain themselves during quiet time. We use screen time as an incentive for following quiet time rules and it’s worked out great so far. You could also offer a special snack, treat, or fun activity like going to the park to encourage good quiet time behavior.

As with any reward system, an incentive works best when you have clear and consistent rules for what “good” quiet time behavior looks like and you must be prepared to follow-through and enforce those boundaries.

Calm music or audio books

A playlist of soft music or an audio book can be a great tool to help your child to pass the time and relax. Setting up an audiobook or music to play for the same duration as quiet time can also give your child an audio cue for how long quiet time will last. The Toniebox is especially great for this!

Special toys and activities reserved for quiet time

When you first begin building a rest time routine, a few new toys and activities can really help get your kids excited about quiet time and keep them occupied for longer. I often wait until quiet time to present my daughter with new books. 

At first, you might start with simply designating that it’s “reading time” or “building time” to help ease your child into the role of being in charge of their own play. As their autonomy grows and they get into the habit of entertaining themselves, go with your child’s interests, offer more choices, and create a rotation of quiet time activities to keep things fresh. 

Here are some of our favorite open-ended quiet time toys and activities:

  • Building toys like PicassoTiles, Duplos, Legos, or train tracks 
  • If your child can be trusted with art and craft supplies, I absolutely LOVE the creativity that quiet time brings out! Crayons, a coloring book, and some stickers are a great start. For younger kids, Color Wonder books, Water Wow books, and a magnetic drawing board are great mess-free options.
  • Reusable sticker pads and puffy sticker activity books from Melissa & Doug
  • Felt shapes and story boards
  • Doll houses, action figures, and animal figurines
  • Beads to string together (pony beads with pipe cleaners are an easy one to start with for preschoolers) or larger lacing beads for younger children. 
  • Puzzles like this one or this big floor puzzle. There are also lots of great, cheap options at dollar stores. 
  • Interactive books. We love The Ultimate Book series that cover a variety of topics like the earth space, city, and airports— they are so well made with lots of moving and 3D components, beautifully detailed illustrations (the reading level is for older grade school children but the pictures are great even for preschoolers), and are just so engaging and fun! These finger maze books are also great for toddlers and younger kids.

Related

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: family culture, preschoolers, productivity & time management, toddlers

About Sandy Hsu

Sandy is a wife, mother of two, and scientist-turned-writer living in Los Angeles, California. When she’s not reading to her girls, cleaning up mealtime messes, or struggling to keep up with the laundry, Sandy enjoys writing, painting, and planning travel adventures with her family. A lover of good stories and thought-provoking conversations, Sandy strives to find joy and beauty in the midst of the daily grind and hopes to encourage other moms to do the same.

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This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in t This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in the snow, well into our third year of dating, captures so much. 

But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

It also doesn't tell you about how much I (grudgingly) grew during that period of singleness. 

The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

that person is enough.
Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
🎒 20% off Valentine photo cards, & classroom Valentines
🎁 20% off photo & stationery gifts on orders $250+
💕 15% off ALL orders with code BEMINE23.
🗓️ Sale ends Monday 1/30!

The Mom Hour is part of Minted's affiliate program, which means if you shop our links we'll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

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Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for presch Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for preschoolers? Even for kids who want to GO GO GO all day long, having a built-in pause in the day can help develop independent play skills, encourage rest, and - of course - give caregivers a chance to reset as well.

Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

Sandy (@hopefulsmiles) give tips for implementing a successful quiet time routine AND rounds up products and activities that help make independent play more likely - even in young preschoolers. Check it out by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal y Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal you heard on our podcast? You're in luck because here's our sponsor roundup for January. Once a month, we use this space to thank our partners and remind you of their special offers. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight or search the brand name on our website. And when you do check out our sponsors + use our links and codes, it helps support our show! We also collect ALL our active promo codes in our email newsletter - which is full of our latest episodes and blog posts, personal updates, community news, and more. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today.

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🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
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Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
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It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

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Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

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New episode! Big black trash bag energy is in ful New episode!

Big black trash bag energy is in full effect over here! In this episode Sarah is joined by contributor @cafedumartin for a conversation about how, why and what we are getting rid of this January. We talk strategic home resets, major junk-hauling, and tips for ongoing clutter maintenance. And while on the surface this episode is about physical stuff, we also acknowledge the emotional complexity that surrounds getting rid of stuff.

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in t This recent picture of Eric and I adventuring in the snow, well into our third year of dating, captures so much. 

But there's a lot it doesn't tell you, too. 

It doesn't tell you about the heartbreaking experience of watching my former marriage dissolve.

It doesn't tell you about the confusion and loneliness in the aftermath of my divorce six+ years ago.

It doesn't tell you about the time that, while driving home in the dark on a snowy evening, I reflected on the fact that nobody was expecting me to check in with them that night - that if I skidded into a ditch nobody would think to look for me for days.

It doesn't tell you about the twenty-five - yes, TWENTY-FIVE - first dates I went on prior to meeting Eric (the vast majority of those never turned into a second date.)

It doesn't tell you about the disappointments and doubts and tears leading up to finding my person.

And...

It also doesn't tell you about how much I (grudgingly) grew during that period of singleness. 

The strength and resourcefulness I discovered through having the space to run a household on my own and determine my own path in life. 

The peacefulness of a home run under my own steam, its rhythms based on my own values and priorities. 

The joy (and necessity) of getting back in touch with myself.

If you’re single and looking, I really do hope you find your person soon. I am so grateful for having found mine, and I know how hard it is to hear "your time will come, too" when you see no evidence of that on the horizon. (Especially going into February, right?)

But while you're waiting, there's another person (you) who deserves your attention...

and hard as it may be to see when you’re in the thick of doubt and disappointment…

that person is enough.
Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a gr Looking for unique classroom valentines *and* a great deal? We love everything about @minted, from the high-quality paper and printing, to the ability to buy unique designs, freshly sourced from a community of independent artists. And right now, Minted has great deals on all things Valentine's Day!

(Pssst: they even have a Disney collection!)

Click this image at the link in our bio to get:
🎒 20% off Valentine photo cards, & classroom Valentines
🎁 20% off photo & stationery gifts on orders $250+
💕 15% off ALL orders with code BEMINE23.
🗓️ Sale ends Monday 1/30!

The Mom Hour is part of Minted's affiliate program, which means if you shop our links we'll earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes f Here’s your January reminder to save shoeboxes for February and March classroom projects! Valentine boxes and leprechaun traps are around the corner, and shoe boxes are so much harder to come by these days. Consider this a friendly head’s up from a mom who’s been there.

Want more help and tips, plus reassurance that you’re doing a great job? (You are.) Search for The Mom Hour in your favorite podcast app and hit subscribe!

#kindergarten #firstgrade #valentinebox #leprechauntrap #shoeboxcraft #roomparent #roommom #classroomvalentines #parenting #momlife #parentingtip #tipsformoms
Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for presch Looking to implement daily "quiet time" for preschoolers? Even for kids who want to GO GO GO all day long, having a built-in pause in the day can help develop independent play skills, encourage rest, and - of course - give caregivers a chance to reset as well.

Since this week's podcast episode is all about kids and alone time, we thought we'd revisit this resource on the blog by Sandy Hsu:

👉 How To Encourage Independence In Preschoolers With A “Quiet Time” Routine. 👈 

Sandy (@hopefulsmiles) give tips for implementing a successful quiet time routine AND rounds up products and activities that help make independent play more likely - even in young preschoolers. Check it out by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#quiettime #parentingtoddlers #parentingpreschoolers #momoflittles #stayathomemom #stayathomeparent #activitiesforpreschoolers #activitiesfortoddlers #threeyearolds #fouryearolds #fiveyearolds #momlife #sahm #sahmlife
New episode! Does solitude come naturally to your New episode!

Does solitude come naturally to your kids, or are moments of solo play far and few between? Meagan and Sarah read some research recently that challenged us to think about the importance of alone time, and whether our kids get enough. In this episode, we dive into our own childhood memories, how our children embrace (or run from) solitude, and how challenging it is to find that just-right balance. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
New episode! With all the day-to-day planning requ New episode! With all the day-to-day planning required to run a household, it's easy to put longterm planning on the back burner. Today Meagan and Sarah share lessons we've learned (or are still learning) that help us look ahead at a whole year, quarter, or month at a time. From knowing ourselves and our seasonal rhythms to figuring out where they keep next year's school calendar, we've picked up a few things over the years, and we're ready to dive in for 2023. Join us! 

Find the episode wherever you get your podcasts, or click this image at the link in our bio!

#themomhour #motherhood #mompodcast #podcastsformoms #parenting #parentingpodcast #podcastlove #trypod #podcastersofinstagram #shepodcasts
Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal y Happy Saturday! Been meaning to check out a deal you heard on our podcast? You're in luck because here's our sponsor roundup for January. Once a month, we use this space to thank our partners and remind you of their special offers. For our special promo codes and links, just tap our saved "Sponsors" highlight or search the brand name on our website. And when you do check out our sponsors + use our links and codes, it helps support our show! We also collect ALL our active promo codes in our email newsletter - which is full of our latest episodes and blog posts, personal updates, community news, and more. Tap on this image at the link in our bio to subscribe today.

Shoutout to our NEW sponsors:
🍳 @caraway_home (10% off gorgeous, non-toxic cookware!)
💪 @futurefitapp (risk-free trial of 1-on-1 personal training!)
🔪 @prepdish (2 weeks free of healthy, prep-ahead meal plans!)
🎨 @minted (design marketplace with art, bags, gifts & more!)
📚 @chatbooks (deals on the easiest photo books ever!)
😍 @fabletics (2 stylish workout bottoms for $24!)

And welcome back . . . 
⭐️ @stitchfix ($20 off your 1st purchase!)
⭐️ @theessentialcalendar (10% off full-season calendars!)
⭐️ @hiyahealth (50% off 1st order!)
⭐️ @kiwico_inc (50% off your 1st mo!)
⭐️ @athleticgreens (1yr of Vit.D + 5 travel packs!)
⭐️ @vionicshoes (free shipping on cute, comfy shoes!)
Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, Braces on, braces off. First phones, driver's ed, high school registration. As we discussed in this week's episode, we still get all the feels when older kids meet cultural or developmental milestones - even if they cringe when we celebrate and share.

Would love to hear what you're celebrating about your older kids! Everything from learning a new skill to blossoming independence - leave us a comment! 

PS - Listen to the episode in your favorite podcast app, or by clicking this image at the link in our bio!

#parenting #parentingbigkids #parentingteens #parentingtweens #bigkidmilestone #teenagers #tweens #momoftweens #momofteens #momofteenagers
Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-d Turns out, when your last baby approaches double-digits, you find yourself staring a different milestone right in the (puffy) face:

It's been a decade since I was pregnant for the last time. 

This photo was taken the morning of my scheduled c-section, just a few hours before we'd meet our third and last babe. It's hard to remember, but I'm SURE I was ready to be done. Constant braxton-hicks, heartburn I hadn't experienced with the other two, food aversions that lasted the whole 39w5d, and physical exhaustion trying to keep up with a 2- and 4-year old: all part of an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy, but still nobody's idea of easy.

I don't miss it - being pregnant. Grateful to have had the experience, absolutely. But I've never really pined for another go-around, at least not seriously. Still, a whole decade removed feels as significant a milestone to me as does the notion that that double-dimpled babe will blow out ten candles this weekend.

Time, like, whoa. 

-Sarah

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